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Red flags aren't always obvious, even when you've read the handbook and have been actively trying to vet potential dates. From my experiences, I've noticed some more "sneaky" red flags especially when it comes to technology. The thing about all the red flags below are that they are even more sinister- they're shit tests. These lvm will deliberately test and push you a little at a time so that they can have their way.
🚨Phone Calls: when you are talking with him on the phone, especially for that pre-date chat, pay attention to if you can hear and understand him. Does he ask that you can hear him alright? It should be one of the first things he asks, this also applies to a video chat.
lvm tend to love to wear ear buds or air pods when chatting with women. Make a mental note if he mentions that he is using them. These devices are small and discrete - they can easily be hidden under hair or a hat.
🚨Almost all the lvm that I had spoken with use earpods because they are sneaking around, they'll talk on the quieter side, and there's always a lot of static and bad reception. There are other points then where it'll just be completely static, or have no volume, or he will hang up on you and say that "it just disconnected".
I've lived in the mountains and places that do have bad reception before - but the reality check is that most reception has dramatically improved over the last few years. Plus, if you actually want to have a conversation with someone, you'll find the area with reception and chat There.
🚨lvm may also say that they have an old phone, a phone that is beat up, a phone that got wet so it doesn't work right or cuts out, or they'll say that their battery is dying on the phone or air pods.
A hvm will ensure that you can hear him, and he will speaking at a normal volume not speaking softly or almost whispering. A hvm will be punctual in calling you, and be a placing himself so there Is better reception. He should not have any need to have to use headphones! He would also make sure his devices are charged. The bad reception and lousy volume are tactics lvm will startup early on with you - because they have a lot to hide - and then it gives them an easy out which they'll blame on reception, headphones, or a dying battery.
......... 🚨📢Watching TV With Men
This applies to when you are in a relationship and going over to his place. lvm love to just put their show or movie on either mid series or part of the way through and then they just expect you to sit down and watch it with them.
It's very rude and shows that they don't care what you're interested in, that they didn't even ask, and that they have no care if you're having fun or understanding what is going on. It's also a lowball tactic to bore you so you'll be easier to get into bed.
A hvm would be more interested in taking you to see a movie or a show / concert instead of just staying in all the time. But on the days you do want to stay in and watch TV, you should have a say in what is put on and it should be started from the beginning.
🚨 another shit test that lvm will do relatively early on is talking about things that they know bore you, or try to drag you along or into something that they are well aware you don't like. For me and many of my friends this was video games. I can't tell you how many times the guys that we dated all knew we didn't like video games, but would still try showing us their games, talking on and on about video game news and statistics, and even getting us to go over to any video game related stand at festivals. This isn't cute and its not him "opening up to you" or "sharing his passion". It is a shit test. He is seeing if he can get you to be his little cheerleader fangirl or his player 2. A lot of anime weebos and hard-core gamer guys are pornsick and very kinky, they have fantasies of having an anime or player 2 girlfriend. Men that drag women to their car shows, sports games, video gamer stuff, comic book stores, cons, etc (when they know that she is not into it) see women as an object to parade around to the other lvm and show off. You are not some showdog. (Lvm will also purposely play music that they know you hate!)
It's important to start discussing both of your hobbies and mention if you aren't into something the other is a big fan of in the early stages. So if he says he is into video games and you are not - do not feign interest or act cool with it when it bothers you. You can politely say it's not your cup of tea. You need to understand though what's a dealbreaker and what is not, ans that comes down to personal preferences.
Another red flag is men that still have their exes in their phones or that have a lot of female contacts.
Another word of advice is see if he does have a social media. You don't need to ask for him - just search for him on the platforms - I do this before we even do a predate. It can help verify they are real and show pictures. You can also learn a lot and pick up red flags. You don't even need to add him. If you do make it to the dating phase though he should be adding you on social media and not be afraid to have posts or photos with you if he otherwise did post before you. He also shouldn't be posting like crazy.
Any other tech and media red flags I forgot?
Good post! Reminds me of a low value f*ck boy I was casually sleeping with at the time I discovered FDS. From the beginning of our "relationship," he told me he could only take calls with his air pods, because the regular speaker on his phone was messed up. Yet his air pods were either always conveniently not charged or lost. Essentially that made it so we heavily relied on texting to communicate, and never could call each other. SUS!! Since we never got together before 11 at night, I now realize he was probably busy sleeping with other women right before he would come over to my place, and probably didn't want me calling him, as to keep his sexual exploits under wraps!! This will definitely be something I look out for more in the future!
Another red flag is when they don't save any numbers on their phone. It's just dozens of random numbers. If its not saved, and you check their phone, you'll have no idea who these people are, and like my ex, will say they are telemarketers. Nope. Just a bunch of females. Or if they do save a number, it'll be saved under male names, or family names. Etc.
The video game bro shit is so annoying, ngl. Like there are loads of women out there who DO play video games and are passionate about it, but what do these same men do? They try to cast these women out, harass them and verbally abuse them until these women are reduced to tears. They never actually believe it when a woman is into the same exact hobbies as they do.
Men don't want gamer girls as their girlfriends, they want non-gamer girls and force her to play a fantasy because the act of forcing women to do anything, sexually or not, is a much bigger turn on and a bigger ego boost than just dating a woman who checks off all their list boxes because that's just too boring and too easy.
Men are the architects of their own misery and they can die as they choke about it.
The music one is something I relate to. My husband and I rushed into our relationship and marriage because we’d previously had a mutual crush… then after we started living together we discovered that our musical tastes intersect in only two or three genres and that we had to actively search for music that we can enjoy together.
What can you do when they start putting on YouTube podcasts or super boring bro stuff