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Well, you might remember me from my previous post where I excessively talked about a guy that I got into an emotional and sexual relationship without ever being official.
Since then I stopped communicating with our friend group (his friends now) As I came to find out that they've all been discussing me and our situation at hand with him. I kept my no contact rule but he called me on the phone the other day and I slipped up and talked with him.
He confessed to not having feelings for me and that he would like to drop our relationship (didn't ask). My blood boiled when he graciously 'thanked' me for everything I've done for him but he just didn't feel the same anymore. He gave me some bullshit reasons about how he's just the kind of person that should be alone.
I told him that it's not the fact he should be alone, but he deserves to be alone. I dropped the call and blocked him.
It's been difficult and I feel ashamed, as I'm 23 years old and way too old to be this emotionally wrung out over a man that has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. I don't have any friends right now and it's been really lonely - I don't even know where and how to start again.
We are in the same college course so I'll have to suffer for the rest of semester with him in my vicinity. I'll be taking up a makeup marketing internship next semester so I'll be able to really distance myself from him and my friends and focus on healing.
I wanna thank everyone from my previous post for helping me see the nonsense I got myself into. I am still new to this so I don't feel as strong as I should right now, but I have therapy tomorrow which will make it easier. Thank you again.
Girl, 23 is not old. Don’t beat yourself up, at all!!! I’m 28, and emotionally wrung out! 😣
You're free. 🤍
Wishing you well on your healing journey. You’ve taken the biggest & bravest step. 💪🏼 You’re worthy of so much more!
Women of all ages get wrung out on men. You’re human, you have emotions, it’s okay. Just ignore this guy. Don’t even talk to him or acknowledge him to be polite, he’s dead to you.
I bet you feel so much lighter after dropping that dead weight, even if it hurts a little right now. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We've all come from the same bullshit and have had our asses handed back to us by scrotes, that's how we woke up and started learning instead of making anymore excuses for next time.
Things can only go up from here!
You're too good, not too old, to deal with such nonsense at any age. It's okay. It happens to all of us at various ages. You take care of and be kind to yourself! Experience teaches us to strive for better and be more comfortable in only accepting the best for ourselves.
Being in my late 20s I can tell you that you don't NEED to be in a relationship in school, those things almost never last because people are still figuring out who they are and what they like. Your values won't be fully formed until you are 25 when your brain finishes developing, and compatibility in VALUES (should not be confused with interests/hobbies) is the biggest predictor or long term relationship success.
The best thing you can do right now is focus on school and self improvement, good relationships will come when you are good yourself - we tend to attract people who are more or less on our level of emotional/financial development, so if you want to attract great people into your life (both friends and partners) just focus on improving yourself first. A great way to meet new people is through internships/work and hobbie groups.
I really believe It’s in womens best interest not to sleep with/ be exclusive with a man they aren’t married to. Being someone’s gf just means his options are still open in case someone better comes along (better in his mind) but he locks you down from meeting other men who you might marry and like better than him. Men are fine to be your bf for 3 years plus and then dump you no skin off their nose they have no time limit on having a family. I ’m 30s and mostly bfs annoyed me after a few years so I dumped them but they wasted valuable time. I am certain if I had stayed single instead of having bfs for years at a time I’d have A family by now. Serious regret, highly recommend holding out until someone you want to marry is ready to move forward. Boyfriends are what I call “husband obstructions”. It’s hard bu I’m convinced if you refuse to be anyone’s gf or sleeping with someone who you don’t love and marry then you’ll bump into that within a few years. By like 28 many of the good marriage material guys have gotten married and then you end up with huge perverts and losers. The guys who make good husbands are getting it done right around your age and over the next 5 years so don’t waste time on guys who aren’t looking for a wife specifically.
You’re so young. Focus on yourself and your grades and your life. At this stage, men are just a distracting waste of time. I'm nearly forty and wish someone had told me that endlessly chasing relationships is a soul sucking trajectory of pointlessness. Your job is to focus on you and to level up. That's what you're doing now, at college/uni and men can go jump in a lake.
Make friends and have fun.
23 is not old at all, but I’m glad you can recognize that he wasn’t compatible with you maturity wise. The best advice I can give to you is never let a man be sexual with you unless he’s committed to you. That can really be harmful to your health and men can use that against you. I wish you healing and all the best. I know this probably won’t sound true now, but I know you are so much better off without him
Way to go, sis! try to focus on academia and your internship (I know it's hard now, but it will get better).
Btw, I'm also in my early twenties and in academia. Feel free to dm me!