Is this even a safe community for non white women?

The comments on the trans racial post were wild imo. I don't understand how anyone could think trans racialism wasn't that bad or couldn't care less about it. I saw a comment saying the poster didn't care about it because it doesn't harm women. Like what?!

Some women here are very angry and rightfully so. That does not mean being racist is okay and it should not be tolerated.

I have to admit I am mostly confused by the whole discussion in the other thread. I'm not a native English speaker or from the US so I may just miss some nuances in the way people phrased things but to me it always sounded like both parties were essentially talking about the same thing: not dating men who treat women of their own ethnicity badly. Which I obviously completely agree with. But...I mean.... can't "I'm not dating them out of solidarity for non white women" and "I'm not dating them because them treating women from their own family like shit ALSO makes it more likely for them to treat me like shit" both be true for the same person? Like... we can have multiple reasons not to do something.

Or am I completely missing the point here?

hey OP, we're from the same part of the region(?) so just wanna reassure you that i know FDS as a whole does not support any kind of racism. please do report racially-charged comments to the amazing admin team who do take swift action against that sort of stuff (main reason i still visit the forum).

I didn’t read that thread so I’m not aware of what happened there but I am sorry that you had to read such racist and disrespectful remarks. That’s not acceptable and is not tolerable here. We should have inclusivity, diversity and empower each other here. Women need to support all women especially the ones who are minorities and face racism, discrimination on the daily. ♥️

Some of are trying to make this a safe space for all women, but we still suffer from one simple fact: this is an internet forum. Let's all keep reporting the miscreants who make this a less than safe space

That whole thing was insane. I didn’t read the transrace thread, but i did see the two on racism/interracial relationships. From what I can see, a person simply asked for things to look out for in interracial relationships (like scrotes who fetishize foreign women), and one person responded with something along the lines of “if a man is misogynistic toward women of his own race, then who’s to say he won’t be misogynistic toward you?” I took this to mean that a man who hates women who are of his own race is simply a misogynist who doesn’t see women as people, and fetishizes a specific type of woman (ww, se asian women, etc) as property. It seems that some other people took this to mean that the poster didn’t care about the woc who the men display hatred toward, and only care about how they themselves are treated. I don’t agree with this take, because if she only cared about how she herself was going to be treated, then would she even bother concerning herself with how a man feels about women of his own race, as long as she get treated like the prize? A big part of FDS is about showing solidarity with other women by not picking up other women’s garbage. The same way you can tell a lot about both who a man is, AND how he will treat you in particular by looking at how he’s treated his ex. We can all be concerned about ourselves AND the whole of womankind at the same time, and I think all of us at FDS agree with that. I do understand how that reply might have been misconstrued by a person who is used to fielding racist comments in places they had previously felt were safe though, and maybe it could have been worded better. I think it is healthy and appropriate to discuss racism on feminist forums (since it frequently intersects with feminism), but it’s hard, because tensions run very high around this topic, and we’re all reading anonymous comments made by people we don’t know, and having to guess at what a person means beyond what they’ve said at face value (as a person with ASD, I can relate to this, as people frequently assign meanings to things I’ve said that I didn’t intend at all, and I often feel like once words have left my mouth, I have no control over how people hear them). Then a bunch of anonymous (and probably male) trolls showed up to start shit, and everything broke down into people fighting with eachother. Meanwhile, the person who made the original post got little (if any) actual advice she could work with. It sucks.

I definitely agree that racist remarks have derailed conversations on here several times. This also acts against our self interest as women to not stand together against racism, which is how white women derailed the women's movement last time in the US and we didn't get the ERA passed.

There is definitely a chunk of users who identify as “radical” only so they can have a good excuse for being obsessed with reactionary politics on trans issues. With this radical label, their politics are otherwise indistinguishable from a liberal. Believing reform is an answer, and completely lacking solidarity with oppressed classes they do not belong to. So there are women here who advocate for things like the prison, girlbossing, and think they don’t bear any responsibility to be actively antiracist.

Anyone thinking to open their mouth to invalidate OP should think twice and do better. It is not divisive to bring up that some women claim to be feminist but only care about the interests of white women. It is divisive and not radical to literally only advocate for the status quo for anyone you feel is below you.

Wow, I missed a lot yesterday! That user sounds gross I'm glad they're gone.

As a woc I’ve also seen things around here that makes this space seem exclusionary for other woc. If they want to make this space only for white women, at least they should be upfront about it

Honestly some of those replies were really really weird, in that how obliviosly racist they were, while also being dismissive/insisting on it when questioned about it. Like, I am really distrustful that any woman even remotely interested in something like FDS would say such things. I've never ever seen comments like those here, as if those people never spent half an hour reading any post here - very likely because they're men.

I don't think the issue you're bringing up is an actual issue at FDS.

Any movement is going to have its share of racism. Believing FDS is immune from that is naive. From the previous threads, it seemed like just a few people were commenting things that were offensive to woc.

It's important that FDS stands for all woman, and against the patriarchy. If we create an issue/grift within FDS, it is essentially handing victory to the enemy. All organizations have their share of racist and problematic people, but we shouldn't derail the main conversation and focus of this community because of a few bad actors.

There are many organizations that would, frankly, more effectively combat racism than trying to have FDS take on that role. That's not the purpose of this community. If this is an issue that is important to you, I would encourage you to join other groups. Also btw, I'm a woc.

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, and the reactions and comments were so bad. I hear you, and as a white lady, pledge to try to do better, even if it’s just liking and upvoting and posting messages of support. I know I will never truly understand, but I want to be as helpful as I can. And I do support you, and everything you have said is on point, and you’re right, we all have got to just support each other.

""we’re not asking you to save us. We’re asking for basic solidarity, inclusivity and allyship. The fact that some people here have resorted to denial and dismissal of our pain and not caring about our issues when we speak up about them is concerning as hell. If you can’t even have empathy or respect for black, asian and brown women yet you claim that you’re fighting against misogyny, what are you even doing with yourself??"" Ok- I'm sick and tired of this generic argument getting thrown around and returned all the way from Timbuktu. This argument- exactly what I quoted- is a flawed argument. It isn't making any point- it is simply a way to grandstand and virtue signal. Replace woc w any other group (ex🚂🦵) - this argument is used EVERYWHERE. And I have YET to see this argument directed at any group of men. This argument is exclusively used to target women- whichever group of women needs to be put in their place. This perfectly loving group solidarity of women that you are asking for- that is literally used to justify women out of the public sphere in patriarchal religions. It isn't original- it's the same old patriarchal argument of how women should/do behave and it's saying it's ✨empowering✨ when we act that way to the right group of people. You want to bring up mysoginoir in dating? Go for it- I support you, I'm sure I will learn a lot. You want to go over racism and microaggressions you see on the forum (or in this comment)? Go for it- I support you, I'm sure I will learn a lot. You want to insist I have empathy and use the be kind argument and don't point anything out except an abstract critique "*I'm not getting/seeing the support I expect from women*" Hell no- ur argument is invalid. Try again

Blind support without criticism? This ain't an internet hugbox.

Here's an analogy. Why did Occupy Wallstreet fail? Because over time, the main message diffused and everyone thought they could use the movement as a soapbox for their own causes. It is such a problem for leftist movements: we stand for everyone and everything so we actually stand for nothing. That's why conservatives/ republicans/ the right are so strong and the left/ democrats/ liberals can never get a foothold.

The left is so busy fighting itself over the definition of this and that and who and whatever that they can't maintain a cohesive front.

Edit: Just caught your edit OP, and blocking doesn't work like that currently on FDS.

bruh just because a white woman said something you didn’t like it doesn’t mean that white women have some personal vendetta towards you. should I go around saying asian women are backstabbing pickmes because that was my experience with two of them? you don’t see the racism in that line of thinking? do you think YOU are showing solidarity with white women by bashing them like that?

not to mention, there‘s nothing wrong with the statement that “white women are not your saviours” just like any other race of women are not your saviour. solidarity is different than being a saviour and as far as solidarity, I believe that at least FDS women are all trying their best regardless of their ethnic background (except for you and that other Indian chick apparently).