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There was a guy who spent a month trying to woo me, and one day he suddenly cut off contact with me. I've seen this pattern with other men, and usually it's because they're married. (That's what others have told me about the patterns I've experienced).
I'm frustrated because I thought I did enough vetting, but I might've been proven wrong again. Is there a sure fire way of me finding a marriage record or something that would definitively let me know he's married and lying about "looking for a serious relationship?"
Only answers to this question please!!
Or if he’s lying about getting a divorce for example. One thing I found out with talking to a guy who was claiming he was divorced, was by asking more questions. I sought to find out about a timeline and discovered that after telling me he had been divorced, he was still living with his ex and was not divorced yet and they only broken up a month before 😐 show no signs of judging him, just ask in a perky, curious way. #dumbfox Play fake pickme. Seek out their opinions on women. If he doesn’t seem like an incel, he might be taken. If he seems the other way entirely and is highly sexual, he might also be taken. (Grooming you to be a mistress). Long story short, extremes in behaviour 🚩 Going MIA. I’ve noticed with taken men compared to single men, is that a man who is already with somebody will be giving you all of his undivided attention and then suddenly withdraw and disappear. It’s because he’s juggling with the other person/people and want them to be attached to him so on a day when he’s not contacting you, he is contacting them. I have also noticed taken men are also weirdly possessive, so if he dislikes you being nice to other men, 🚩 examples include: watching you talk to a man and then complaining at you for it. Having an issue with any man being attracted to you even if you don’t do anything. IF A MAN ISN’T CONSISTENT, HE’S EITHER NOT INTO YOU OR IS SEEING MULTIPLE PEOPLE.
If he seems very Eager McBeaver with trying to win you over, trying to get on your good side, trying to buy you things unprompted, seems way too into you in the beginning via love bombing... if it feels too good to be true, you're definitely not wrong.
Sure-fire is difficult. If he's married or committed, he might claim he doesn't have a social media, or does and "never posts". Or avoids talking about family, saying he's not ready to introduce you yet (since, you know, he's already introduced the wife). Perhaps he works long, weird hours that he blames on a pushy boss or a skeleton crew.
The only other thing I can think of is to determine if he's religious or not. If there's a particular church he goes to, he probably either brings his wife/family, or the pastor might know of his maritial status (or even officiated for them).
Only able to see you during daytime, when he can get away while at work, but be home by dinnertime.
A guy who travels for work. Married men will often use being in a different area code, as an opportunity to cheat.
Besides an indent on his left hand from a wedding ring he took off, a lack availability and enthusiasm to pursue you.
big red flag would also be if he wants to communicate in something other than normal text(signal, kik, telegram, WhatsApp, email) and if he can’t deal with a schedule change on meeting or video calls.
and yea If he wants to be exclusive but doesn’t include you in his circles or if you do happen to meet friends of his, you get a weird or less than welcoming vibe from them.
Get a Background check on him, including a check of his court records (which will often show you his abuser history - block & delete if you see anything), and also search for marriage licenses. But know that some of these freaks can still be “married” yet not legally. For example, my former spouse’s public social media makes it seem like he’s married, but in reality he has no valid marriage license, so he can avoid another costly divorce settlement LMAO.
Point - Assume he is married or has a live-in and/or live apart together girlfriend until you can conclusively prove otherwise. If he is ever inconsistent in his pursuit of you, or his energy quickly changes, like he suddenly isn’t available Friday and Saturday nights etc, and you haven’t met his friends and their spouses/partners, that’s a sign he’s juggling multiple women.
Thank you guys— all of these signs are good to watch out for! I’ll just add the 2 houses part too: has a house in a different (close by state) but is living in apartment in a different state because of his job.
Look him up on the internet. I found out an ex boyfriend of mine was married and homosexual using the internet. There were county records recording his sham marriage to an older woman, and I found him in a lover's spat on Facebook with a drag queen. There are websites like Spokeo that have background checks, and if you're serious about letting this male into your body and life, then it's worth the few bucks they charge to see if they're married or are felons. I had to start doing this in 2013 because so many males who asked me out were married. And they didn't wear rings either. The last guy who asked me out in NYC was a married, felonious mobster who went to prison for not wearing a wire against his "family," the Bonannos. He was using an alias and was the VP at the old construction company I worked with. Thankfully, I listened very intently on our first date to all of his life confessions and took that info to research him. Do not take any modern day male at face value. They have none.