If you’re ‘successful’, has your dating experience been harder?

Men definitely care. The annoying thing is men want a woman not to be broke, but they also don’t want us to have more than them or we’ll emasculate them. I have a car and live with my parents, yet guys are still intimidated by my background. Just the mention of the suburb of where I live makes them feel intimidated.

Oh they care lmao in my experience, instead of just blocking me they actively look to start a fight with me and I end up blocking them. Its fucking weird. For example I'll tell them my exact work schedule and they'll go out of their way to over-text me during work, and get pissed that I don't text back enough during my very demanding work hours and miniscule break times. I'm not sacrificing my tiny 5 minute break for a scrote, I'm gonna eat and piss. (And I'm not about to pickme dance with quiet phone calls while on the fucking toilet. That's for husbands + emergencies, not the broke guy from tinder)

So now one of my deal breakers is a man with an opposite work schedule + less money than me. I've never met a man who is mature about our conflicting schedules, they always throw piss baby shit fits and demand I change my job around for them, a stranger, whose job is lower paying than mine and their fee fees are hurt about it. Not my problem.

Yes, I have noticed. I’m in my late 30s. When I was young and poor dating was “easy” because men love a broke vulnerable woman and being poor doesn’t scare men off because when you’re young men are after your youth and beauty. They line up for it. Things seem rosy because men have a harder time financially abusing you when you’re poor. They are more interested in flirting.

Once I started becoming financially successful, my interactions with men changed significantly. When you have your own place (whether rented or owned), the hobosexuals and aspiring hobosexuals magically appear in droves. Suddenly you have to view each man as a criminal with bad intentions instead of a dating prospect. When I’ve owned houses with a garage I had to fend off hobosexuals and moochers with a stick. Something about garages makes men super excited (to fill them up with their stuff —where’s Freud when you need him?).

“Does he actually want me or is he being evicted this month?”

”Does he actually want me or does he need someone to pay half the rent because our city is so expensive?”

”Does he actually like me or is he looking for a successful woman to be the breadwinner so he can quit his job as soon as he moves in?” (This happened to me TWICE).

Once hobosexuals have you in their grasp, are they happy? NO. They are miserable and try to sabotage you in every way possible —which would cancel their meal ticket and is self-defeating, but they can’t help it. They want to destroy the hand that feeds them like the scorpion and the frog. It’s just their nature. One study found that when a woman earns more than her male partner she is 7 times more likely to be abused by him than a woman who makes the same or less than her man.

When you’re poor men lie to you to get sex. When you’re successful men lie to you to get your resources. Both suck.

Carrying yourself with an ounce of confidence will send predators running- success tends to improve confidence (btw congrats on your promotion and investment properties!) Most men are looking for shallow relationships where they can fill a role- they don't care about the person you are- and your accomplishments and anything that indicates you have a personality beyond what he wants from you will send them off. It's not that they aren't choosing you- it's that they don't want a woman who makes herself known beyond what they want to give to her. They're wannabe white knights, you're better off without their made up problems

Yes! I have found the exact same thing. I’m not even super high earning, but I made some good choices and suddenly, either I became terribly ugly or men are very intimidated by successful women. It’s part of what ended my last relationship. Not only was he not improving my life, he was actually leading me into worse habits (to match his). I’m not sure what the solution is because I don’t want to make myself less intimidating. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished & I want a guy who has his own accomplishments & isn’t intimidated by mine.

Beware of hobosexuals.

I have lived in many places which ranged from trashy and crowded With too many roommates, to being nice places I was able to pay for all my myself. My financial

situation has been inconsistent over the years and has gotten progressively better but I am still pretty much lower-class.

pre-fds I let men see my place fairly early on. I was definitely treated better the worse my living situation was.

now I do not let men see my place or be invited over. I would never disclose my financial situation to any man even though it is below average for the area I live in. It seems to incentivize them to be less petty about money and weed out the men looking for a sugar mama.

even if you have say a car and $1000 dollars in a savings account and nothing else, it will attract a dude who has no car and who owes $10k and has nothing in their account. They are always looking for whats the easiest woman for them to mooch dry. Doesn’t matter if you’re a single mom or owe a ton of student loan debt. They do not feel bad about it at all.

also-my abusive ex told me after I declined to give money to a homeless man, that I was not aware of how much a bitch I looked like and that I should be ashamed. when I asked why he said “because you are dressed nice. You have a nice sweater on. You seem entitled to not give him money” then I asked why he didn’t give the guy money then. he said “well I don’t dress nice because i

dont have the money for it” this is how men see us. We are not allowed to look decent without being perceived as rich and entitled. When i would have legit qualified for section 8 if my county even had a waiting list open for it.

Ugh at least they fuck off when they do find out you out-earn them. I'm in my late 20s, also own my own house, and have a good income but instead of leaving they end up trying to pump me up as a boss bitch while joking about being a SAHD 🤮

One advice I came across on YouTube was : Move to the highest net worth zip code you can afford and date from the new people around you. Dating people in the same net worth range as you reduces the chance of running into men that are not on your level. I think from the book “how to marry the rich”, the author said the same thing and she said you are likely to meet and marry someone living within a mile away from you. Although it’s a lot to ask to uproot your whole life.

I have experienced this. Men care. @ASBlonde nailed it. Men want you to be successful, but not outshine them. Ideally you should be evenly matched. The more successful you are, the more difficult it becomes, statistically, to find a match at your income and level of accomplishment. Pre-FDS, I jokingly coined this the Jlo Paradox (although Jlo seems to be a pick me).

The good news is, you're independent and successful in your own right. Congrats on all you're achieved.

💯 All of this, yes and also we have leveled up by being in FDS so the dating pool seems much narrower. As it should be, imho! “Younger/poorer it was easier for us back then” etc was a total illusion. Easy to stay fed when eating from the dumpster. “Harder” when we have a refined palate.

Yes: when you are successful, LVM are either happy to mooch off you, harbor a deep resentment toward you, or both. As a successful woman, you should immediately block and delete any man who shows insecurity or laziness. When I finally started dating a HVM, I saw over time how he admires and appreciates my professional and financial success, while still enjoying taking me out and caring for me. I had never experienced that before and it was a refreshing relief. However, I still keep vetting, and monitoring his own ambition and evolving direction in life.

Yes. I have definitely struggled with dating as I climb my career ladder. I still have some way to go. But I work in STEM and it does seem to discourage most men. Earning more than I used to has definitely impacted the way I date. I find myself less attracted to most men and I find myself vetting much harder than I ever have before because now I actually have something to lose. I do drive my more simple car to dates because this is a way for me protect myself from male gold diggers.

Don't discuss your properties or earnings with men. Most will try to mooch off you. If you're based in London, perhaps try joining a private club like SOHO house or look for other private clubs. The social scene in these places is a whole different world and you're more likely to meet high net worth and possibly better quality men in these clubs. Perhaps you'll even brush shoulders with old money and make connections that way. You can also do Afternoon tea at the Ritz Carlton. Or The Savoy. There's really cool things to do in the Mayfair area like an interactive Great Gatsby immersive theatre experience. I did run into high net worth people in this area when I visited London recently. But I wasn't interested in dating so I chatted with with a few people and went on my way. Start with the goal of making friends with women or couples and then let them introduce you to their friends circles. Men will also come up and talk to you. But just go out with the goal of having a good time with your girl friends or by yourself instead of with the goal of finding someone. Essentially the goal is to enjoy yourself and possibly increase your chances of meeting a high networth HVM.

You have to follow the money. Pick places that high networth people would hangout at. Go to dinner or grab drinks with a girl friend at these places. I unconsciously met high networth men by hanging out at certain places in London a few years back. I was a pickme and had a couple of casual flings. I'm not condoning my flings. However, I just want to point out that these men gave me an incredibly good time and has no issue spending lots of money on me. They made sure to pay for my Ubers as well. There was no expectation or bitterness even if we didn't hookup. If I stayed over I'd get up to leave in the mornings but they'd make sure to treat me to a massive home made English breakfast or at least take me out to breakfast and call off work or call in late for work. It was a bit confusing because I live in the US and it's kind of known here that men are nice to you before they get what they want and they're cold and unemotional right after. American men expect you to leave there and then or first thing in the morning. With British men, they always did the bare minimum of treating me well, paying for everything and making sure I was well fed before leaving, even though we had the understanding that things were casual. But perhaps this is because they happened to be wealthy individuals. High networth doesnt mean HV. But it increases your chances of meeting a HVM organically if you can get into these circles. Most HVM will not be found on dating apps. Men without money are intolerable 50/50 scrotes.

Yes, I'm successful - and my dating experience has gotten easier in the sense that predators and losers bounce off me now. I know what to look for, and that means rejecting a LOT of riff-raff.

Dating was only "easier" in my 20s in the sense that a LOT of men got in the door with me and overstayed their welcome when I should've bounced them immediately. I was young, beautiful, naive, broke, and vulnerable.

Men openly told me that they loved women with low self-esteem, women who were broken, women who were easy to control, because such women won't be able to leave.

It wasn't just a few guys who did this. Many, many, many men told me this. They thought it was funny.

LVM complain that FDS shits on men, but nobody in the world shits on men more than men themselves. Men know when they're losers. They know when they have nothing to offer a woman, so they have to trap one who doesn't know her worth. They brag about it. This is how they really think.

I wish I knew in my 20s what I know now. I would've saved myself so much time, frustration, and hits to my self-esteem. Trust me, you DO NOT WANT predators and hobosexuals sticking around. If they're weeding themselves out, that's a good thing! They're not good enough for you. Get this straight. Also, don't be telling men you don't know on first dates about your investment properties. That's none of their business.

I'm single and staying that way until I find a man I like who's on my level. There aren't many, and also, I'm still not going out as much due to Covid.

I've felt sad about it sometimes, but I know it's not personal, it's compatibility. There aren't a lot of men out there like me. But I'm not willing to settle. I was miserable doing that in my 20s, and I've seen what it's done to the women who married those guys.

It's definitely harder for a couple of reasons:

1. Race - many men do not earn 6 /7 figures within my race. If they do, they may prefer a woman of another race as a trophy or become resentful that I am not on their schedule and am not willing to cater to them.

2. Where and how I live - men are intimidated about the degree that I can financially provide for myself and that I have more than one residence. It's also uncomfortable to date someone who doesn't have a solid home/apartment that's fully furnished. I am not coming over to your mom's house and no mismatched bachelor's pad.

3. We like nice things. I had a guy who wanted to hobosexual me, tell me that he had no money to date me because he had to buy his daughter Christmas gifts. He thought that was acceptable. When I was a single mom, I bought gifts for 2 children, paid the rent, utilities, car payment, and had food for the next few weeks until pay day and I had no child support!!!!

4. What is normal to me maybe extravagant to some men and I don't want to be negged a bout what I like, the experiences I enjoy, or "how much was that" questions.

5. Can't meet expectations - I want to travel around the world. Was recently invited to London by a female associate but most men on OLD speak about working out, and would rather stay home at my age.

OLD in London is the pits and men are intimidated. One thing I’ve learnt about London is discussing my job also just lands me in trouble. Even amongst women with internalised misogyny

i feel like i will face this problem but i know i’m not gonna settle ever again.