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If you need another reason why you should cut off at first red flag

Recently I saw a tiktok, the main idea of which was that if you're attractive, men will date you as arm candy.

Although the idea is nothing new, it enlightened some, in my opinion, strange scrote behaviour I previously couldn't understand.

A negative value friend of a friend was bugging me under the pretense of friendship (but clearly wanting more; but never saying it straight up, which is coward behavior imo). I ignored him and blocked him everywhere, but not before him asking me thru mixed messages and clumsy subterfuge what my standards for a partner are.

I told him my general future goals and standards, and he of course tried to shame me for the ones he couldn't match, and when I didn't budge, continued to bug & creep on me. Which is weird right, because our life goals didn't match on some of the most important things? So why would you even pursue me?

So the lesson here is, not only will these scrotes try to make you lower your standards; but they will also try to force square pegs into round holes. Even if your goals, dreams and your vision of who your partner should be are fundamentally incompatible? They will still try to force it, just because you're charming and beautiful.

So yes. Cut off at the first red flag.

12 answers0 replies

Comments (12)

hush

Sep 13, 2022

Your goals do not matter to LVM. Only his do. Relatedly, if he reckons you’d make an intelligent mule and good mother, he’d pursue and marry you if that would advance his life - even if he doesn’t truly believe you’re his DrEaM GiRl. They call this Rule 35 where I live: a man who wants a mule to raise his kids will marry whomever he’s dating at age 35 (or whatever age he wants to be a married father.) smh.

Jaeswoon

Sep 14, 2022

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Replying to

My brother is doing Rule 35 at age 51.

Unknown member

Sep 14, 2022

Replying to

I never heard of that rule. Good to know.

Unknown member

Sep 14, 2022

Replying to

What! He wants kids now?

blockiana

Sep 13, 2022

If anything I find the opposite, mirroring, to be a bit more annoying and manipulative to deal with. When they enthusiastically agree with everything you like & want - goals, hobbies, food, music, all of it. Just to get you to like them or seek some sort of validation. I remember this one guy (who clearly liked me but was a coward as well) claimed he was also a 'huge fan' of one of my favorite music artists. He slipped up later on socials stating he really didn't listen to that artist until their latest album* 😬 Both type of guys have the same end goal but at least the one who negs is blatant with his scrotery.

*for further context, the album released MUCH later after him saying he was a fan lmaooo.

anamoon

Sep 13, 2022

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Replying to

Whenever I encounter someone like that, not just men, I feel this as a sign to distance myself from that person almost immediately because I see it as a very manipulative behavior like this person is not showing who they are and just reflecting back everything you say to them.

theplanetmoon

Sep 13, 2022

Replying to

I feel like the "square peg, round hole" people and the mirroring people are definitely two sides of the same coin: they don't want to let female attention escape them but they're also scared of us, so they're going to try to manipulate us as much as possible right out the gate. They've going into this with a scarcity mindset and low self-awareness, reeking of desperation, and hoping we don't notice any of those enormous, neon-lined red flags.

Then when we call them out on it they play the victim and retreat back to "w-women are so MEAN! I just wanted to be FRIENDS 😭"

dolores

Sep 14, 2022

Replying to

Ugh yes to all of this! I can absolutely imagine that the last thing you wrote is what he’s telling our mutual friends now.

Soncha

Sep 14, 2022

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First rule of FDS Club don’t discuss or reveal your standards to a guy.

dolores

Sep 14, 2022

Replying to

I would normally agree with you - if this was a date, I would say either ‘when I see him, I’ll know’, or something generic like ‘someone who’s kind and who I find attractive’. And later test our compatibility by more subtle means. This guy? I was never in any universe, in any timeline going to even go on a singular date with him. There was no way he could’ve manipulated me into something more, though not for a lack of trying. Imagine this - he’s told me that I’m one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen in his life, and then shames me for having standards and sticking to them? And then still tries to weasel his way into a date with me? Only men could have this audacity.

Bathsheba

Sep 14, 2022

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Replying to

I love how mad they get that I, an attractive successful woman with lots of interests who is great company, is only interested in dating attractive successful men with lots of interests who are great company. I have a child and a dog. I don’t need anyone else to take care of or raise up.

If you need another reason why you should cut off at first red flag

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