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It's the little things.
Currently traveling with my gay friend, we head home super early tomorrow. Before he headed back to his room, he brought me a bag of groceries because he thought I might be hungry and it's cold outside.
Literally 5 min before he did, I googled for nearby grocery stores so I could run out to grab something. I didn't want to put on pants and brave the streets.
I can't help but compare his behavior to my ex's. He never would have been so thoughtful and considerate of me. He would have expected me to go with him because he couldn't go anywhere alone unless it was storming off in a rage and leaving me on the street.
So thankful I'm done with that horrible relationship and I've found FDS
✈️👸💃
My closest and my dearest friend is a gay guy. He is an absolute gem. Treats me to nice dinners, takes me to nice places, gives thoughtful and considerate gifts, makes plans when I visit him, treats me like a gentleman, not a misogynist, very gentle, kind, emotionally supportive. We are both recovering pickmeishas. He has his share of toxic LVM experiences. I joke to him, that the way he treats me rises a very high standard. No straight man treated me anything close to this. And he does all this without any expectation of sex. Of course gay men like any other person can be HV or LV. My gay coworker loves gossip and always talks behind your back, I would not tell him what I ate for breakfast.
Never make excuses for a man. If he's not doing something, it's because he doesn't want to. Even trying to figure out why a man isn't doing something is a waste of time. The only fact that matters is that the man is not doing something that you want him to.
Have never met a single man my age who is a decent person but i at least have my high value Vietnamese uncles. Vietnamese men are either garbage or angels no in between lol
They without hesitation go out of their way to pay for my food, gas and gift me money and make sure I’m always comfortable. They take good care of their wives and children and never would dare look at another woman. They drop anything for their loved ones
They really set the standard for all of men for me. Men should take pride in being able to provide for all those around him. Without that vital trait, they are predators who will endlessly take.
PSA for anyone who might be reading this and thinking starry-eyed at the one or two times their "HVM" did something similar: occasional effort means diddly-squat! Any LVM is able, and in fact, usually more than willing* to expend the occasional good boy effort in situations where he only has to do it *once*, for example if you see each other only occasionally and you're visiting his town or in "special" occasions such as a vacation together. He gets to feel like such a gracious host/partner and you're primed to feel grateful, return the favor, why, even fawn over him on FDS! He won, with just a one time burst of effort. Remember the only gauge of his value will be CONSTANT and CONSISTENT effort. When he anticipates your needs time after time, even when he's tired. Even when he's in a bad mood. Even when he did something nice for you the day before, and the day before that and the day before THAT and might feel like it's his turn to be pampered. Even when he's not getting anything but your smile, a "thank you" and your presence in return. This should be the absolute baseline of what even means to be "high value". Never forget that. (* anti-"simping" culture notwithstanding)
Things wether it’s good or bad happen because he wanted it to happen. Not his mental illness, not his problems, not his short comings Allowed it to happen. Just him. Cheating, not being attentive for your birthday, not giving you anything for Christmas, It’s not ignorance. It’s his decision.
That’s the only reason and closure you need.
He wanted it so it happened.
Some homosexual men are able to have empathy for women. Most straight men do not have this ability due to testosterone.
😮 Where did you find this HV friend?