A man who chokes you WILL eventually kill you. That is not love. It’s not sex. It’s degradation, violation, and attempted murder. Do not fall for the porn lies, and if you don’t love yourself yet, at least pretend that you do, and don’t allow this kind of behavior.
I've never understood why men are so incredibly eager to "dominate" a woman in every aspects, choking her, degrading her, calling her names and labelling it under the guise of harmless fun aka "bdsm." Vanilla gentle sex used to be the norm, but society is becoming so pornified that if you don't participate in these activities you'll be labelled as a prude
porn (and normalised violent content/games/movies etc) desensitizes people...I don't play video games but every once in a while i'm exposed to something (like in an-app ad or something) and I'm just HORRIFIED at what i'm seeing. sometimes on kid-friendly apps!
If I have to be choked or penetrated anally to not be considered “vanilla” and to “keep a man,” I’d rather join a convent. Sex is supposed to be for creating life—not death. And any man who doesn’t understand this isn’t worthy.
I’m so grateful to FDS for shining a light on issues like these. Before discovering this forum I used to gloss over men on dating apps who described themselves as being ‘Dom’ etc. I previously chalked them up as being odd control freaks but my eyes have been opened to the actual depravity behind this admission.In its simplest form, why on EARTH would you want to physically hurt and degrade the person you’re sharing the most intimate act with? Oh yeh, because you both disrespect AND hate them/what they represent. Men who choke women are beneath contempt.
I believe there is not a single woman on this planet who actually likes being choked.
They're talked into liking it and/or they're mentally fragile and should stay away from such dangerous scrotes.
Men have ruined sex. I don't want to be choked, slapped, Jack hammered or f*cked like a piece of meat. I don't want to be used as a sex toy. What happened to loving "vanilla" sex?
I want soft touches, gaze into my eyes, kiss me and all that feel good stuff. Ugh, I'm so annoyed.
19
Guest
Dec 04, 2022
Yes, thank you for bringing attention to this. I just want to point out that the correct term is non-fatal strangulation.
Thank you so much for this episode. My second sexual partner choked me so hard that I lost consciousness and due to the fawn response that experience made me believe that I liked that type of sex for many years. I believed that if I didn’t seem like I would report him to the police then he wouldn’t kill me. Choking and CNC is such a huge issue and I believe that the only women who enjoy those kinds of things are enjoying them based in perceived threat and the fawn response.
There's no such thing as a "Dom". It's code for weak, insecure men who have failed at capitalism and/or life so they seek out others to place beneath them.
If a man strangles and degrades you during sex, you really think that disappears the second he nuts and he suddenly respects and values you? No chance in hell.
If he's calling you a slut in bed and choking you, he HATES you and thinks you're worthless.
One of the things that hasn't come up yet in the podcasts on bdsm that really got under my skin even when I was "in the community" was the concept of "subdrop".
Basically, there's this idea that it's normal/expected for the sub to feel really shit about themselves for a couple hours to a couple days after a scene. The "bdsm community" explanation is that you're feeling so good during sex that afterwards when you feel normal it feels like "sadness" and is just coming down from a high. But like - during this scene you are being physically abused and verbally degraded. And the "dom" is supposed to give you aftercare, by feeding you snacks and reassuring you they don't actually hate you.
That's the damn cycle of abuse and love bombing! Like, wtf.
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A man who chokes you WILL eventually kill you. That is not love. It’s not sex. It’s degradation, violation, and attempted murder. Do not fall for the porn lies, and if you don’t love yourself yet, at least pretend that you do, and don’t allow this kind of behavior.
I’m so grateful to FDS for shining a light on issues like these. Before discovering this forum I used to gloss over men on dating apps who described themselves as being ‘Dom’ etc. I previously chalked them up as being odd control freaks but my eyes have been opened to the actual depravity behind this admission. In its simplest form, why on EARTH would you want to physically hurt and degrade the person you’re sharing the most intimate act with? Oh yeh, because you both disrespect AND hate them/what they represent. Men who choke women are beneath contempt.
I believe there is not a single woman on this planet who actually likes being choked.
They're talked into liking it and/or they're mentally fragile and should stay away from such dangerous scrotes.
Men have ruined sex. I don't want to be choked, slapped, Jack hammered or f*cked like a piece of meat. I don't want to be used as a sex toy. What happened to loving "vanilla" sex?
I want soft touches, gaze into my eyes, kiss me and all that feel good stuff. Ugh, I'm so annoyed.
Yes, thank you for bringing attention to this. I just want to point out that the correct term is non-fatal strangulation.
Thank you so much for this episode. My second sexual partner choked me so hard that I lost consciousness and due to the fawn response that experience made me believe that I liked that type of sex for many years. I believed that if I didn’t seem like I would report him to the police then he wouldn’t kill me. Choking and CNC is such a huge issue and I believe that the only women who enjoy those kinds of things are enjoying them based in perceived threat and the fawn response.
There's no such thing as a "Dom". It's code for weak, insecure men who have failed at capitalism and/or life so they seek out others to place beneath them.
If a man strangles and degrades you during sex, you really think that disappears the second he nuts and he suddenly respects and values you? No chance in hell.
If he's calling you a slut in bed and choking you, he HATES you and thinks you're worthless.
One of the things that hasn't come up yet in the podcasts on bdsm that really got under my skin even when I was "in the community" was the concept of "subdrop".
Basically, there's this idea that it's normal/expected for the sub to feel really shit about themselves for a couple hours to a couple days after a scene. The "bdsm community" explanation is that you're feeling so good during sex that afterwards when you feel normal it feels like "sadness" and is just coming down from a high. But like - during this scene you are being physically abused and verbally degraded. And the "dom" is supposed to give you aftercare, by feeding you snacks and reassuring you they don't actually hate you.
That's the damn cycle of abuse and love bombing! Like, wtf.
Gee I had no idea.. 🤷♀️