I suck at taking care of myself but I worry about aging constantly

Remember your worth isn’t tied to your looks no matter what the patriarchy says. Your worth is you being the best version of yourself. So long as you treat others and yourself fairly and kindly; work on leveling yourself up; and work on being content with your own company, this is what matters. Pretty much everything else is extra. Do your job, take care of your body, mind, and soul. Take care of your pets if you have any. Be a good family member and friend.

Work on leveling up on the inside for now. I'm 54 and know for a fact that being able to move through the world like a fucking ninja is awesome. I'm simply not bothered out in public. It's amazing. I'm average okay looking and I've lost 160 lbs over the years. But what most older women have, which takes time for younger women to grow inside, is gravitas. Like I'm here, deal with it, I'm gracing you with my goddess presence. I'd give that to every younger woman if I could! You're doing well. You're here among friends and you're on your journey. We are here for you and we appreciate you.

Stop using social media.

If your remove the urge to give a shit about what men want or say, then you'll be free. Everyone ages...if they're lucky. I nearly died at age 26 in a parachute accident in the Army, and I was married at the time. He no longer wanted me after I got hurt. So even if you do get married young, work like a dog, do all of the house work, didn't sleep around, and was faithful and loyal, you can still end up alone in your 40s like me. I did EVERYTHING men say to do to keep a man, and the result was the same as women who didn't. It's a lot of luck and timing to meet a decent man, so why put so much on what they think or want? They don't care what we want or think, and they seem to think all women should die at age 30. So who cares? Care for yourself. Take care of yourself everyday. Don't let internalized misogyny or this crazy society change you. Think about what you want to accomplish in life that's outside of a man. And do that to the best of your ability. My ex husband is long gone, but my opera singing and girl friends still stands. My exercise routines, sauna visits, big rare steaks and dark red wine, etc. is still here to give me pleasure. What makes you happy that's positive? Do that.

The wall doesn't exist. It's a misogynistic term to keep women down and insecure about our looks. If it's not our age, it's our weight. If it's not that, it's our shape. If it's not that, it's our faces and how much it scores on a 1-10 metric of how attractive we're supposedly are to men. The list goes on and on.

You said you suck at taking care of yourself. Start somewhere very small. Get yourself a big jar of water to chug down everyday. Start buying vitamins to take in the morning. Ween yourself off of sugar little by little each day. Go for an easy walk around the neighborhood to start an exercising routine. Start slow and easy.

Hang in there and don't let idiots make you feel bad.

43 year old here. I was very worried about this especially as I approached 40, and it took over my life for awhile. Now I've chilled out about it (at some point perhaps I will do a post on how I deprogrammed myself of this fear). In essence, anyone worth being with (romantically or platonically) likes you for who you are. They see you and appreciate your best qualities. This is the essence of love. When you get to know someone you find all of them attractive, so/called flaws included. This isn't just some Pollyanna bs -- it's the foundation of healthy relationships. It isn't about youth or looks.

Taking care of ourselves is important to our self esteem and feeling good. I'm learning this now -- how to really care for myself outside of the superficial aspects of simply doing beauty routines in order to be more attractive to men. I am having to learn this as I realized I never did it for myself, only for the benefit of being more acceptable to others. I started just with committing to wash my face every night before bed (basic I know), take the time to brush my hair (it feels good), and also wearing less makeup during the day to give my skin more of a chance to breathe.

In general, learning what feels good to me has been challenging. It almost feels as if I wasn't a person before -- I was just this frightened creature running around desperately doing anything I could to receive love. I didn't spend much time considering myself outside the context of other people. It was foreign and uncomfortable for me to focus on myself. Finding what feels good might take time. I recommend you create quiet spaces for yourself where you can listen to your body. I agree with others who said to curtail social media. It's a siren song. I actually went hard core and cut out IG (the worst offender), Twitter, FB, etc. , most popular music, and TV. I basically noped out of our culture. It just all started to feel like brainwashing to me. Perhaps a little extreme but my healing accelerated when I shut off the noise.

Watch Mind Your Manners on Netflix. Sara Jane Ho is a highly educated businesswoman who teaches women the art of etiquette, which extends to grooming, social graces and personal high values. Content like this may help you on your journey towards cultivating confidence in yourself and how you move through the world. Episode 1, 5 and 6 stood out to me in terms of applicable advice, but every episode has “mini-lessons” with the potential for long-term benefits if you can find a way to integrate them into a stronger sense of identity through behavioral and environmental changes. (If anyone wants to discuss the show, we can create a separate thread!) Feelings of low self-worth can be remedied with resources you didn’t have access to when you were in a vulnerable position (as a child or in a traumatic relationship; sometimes it’s simply a result of not having positive female role models in your life who can help cushion the harsher consequences of living in patriarchal oppression). Create a toolbox of self-love you can fall back on, and practice using everything in your arsenal to build trust in yourself. This toolbox is unique to you and is accessible through an exploration of your likes, passions, desires and visions of your most elevated self. If you find that an intimidating or overwhelming endeavour, reframe it: you now have access to a tremendous amount of literature (research, fiction, books, podcasts, forums; even something as seemingly low effort as meditation out in nature reaps crucial benefits) that you’re able to use to refine your life. What Sara Jane and other high value women (and to an extent, the self-help industry) teach me is that it’s a requirement to look at yourself in the mirror first. Take inventory of your bad habits, traits and experiences, because it naturally leads to discovering and clarifying a new set of standards and values that actually benefit you instead of keep you chained to this low vibrational state. I personally had to put myself in the trenches of how bad it can be by becoming intimate with my limits, triggers and shadow self in order to, 1) recognize negativity/trauma and how it manifests in my physical body, personal character, and external circumstances; 2) give myself the space to want better for myself through (doing the oftentimes difficult work of) self-compassion and gentle self-talk; and 3) gradually cultivate feelings of hunger for the sense of clarity and freedom that living a fulfilling life would afford me. Envisioning better for myself came as a natural consequence of this; however, activating my energy and executing movement towards it is another mountain altogether and where my toolbox (plus examples of high value character and habits through role models and FDS) come into play. Half the battle is confronting yourself, but the real work is holding yourself to the standards you decide to set. It helps to know there are women who have elevated themselves out of these states, setting a reminder not to fall for the illusion that it’s futile to change.

First of all there isn’t a “wall” for women.

we never lose our worth. I don’t know how old you are. But dating options for women increase as she ages not the other way around as scrote propaganda teaches us.

I find it helps to take time for yourself and away from online things. Well maybe keep with fds. But most socials and online communities are toxic.

also I’m sure you look amazing!

I worry about ageing too. Ppl feel sorry for me that I’m by myself while nobody feel sorry for women my age who are baby mama’s to several men, their baby daddy suck and the other fling rejecting his own children claiming they are not his. No time for an education or to level up. While I have a life that I can devote to education and get the best job I can get in the future. When I’m tired I can rest, no man-child to cater too.

Why should anyone feel bad for me? I still look 18 while women my age look double their age because of men and popping out early.

Just wear sunscreen and if you smoke stop smoking. Not only will this help with premature aging most importantly it's just good for your health

Lady Gaga said it best:

"I'm beautiful in my way, God makes no mistakes, I'm in the right track, I was Born This Way!!!" Much Love, Queens 👑!💖🙂💯