.png)
So I was dating someone who went out of their way for me a lot. So im feeling some guilt but kinda just need to be told that my gut isn't wrong. That im not insane .please screw my head back on.
So we talked for a month for he made any moves. Dated for a month. Our age difference in 26 hes 37. We didnt have sex for a month into official. At first he had trouble and i assumed P.A. but he said it was nerves. And I got frustrated because i wont stay for bad sex. But he was very sweet went out of his way a lot of the times for me. Sex got better but my gut could absolutely not settle that he would talk to other girls or just be the guy who oogles them on Instagram. He said he wasnt a porn guy or a guy who stares at other women. And i couldnt let it go my gut somethings wrong. Bad dreams whole 9 women intution! Like couldve sworn seen those eye attacks linger on waitresses ass and he denies denies denies. That he isnt a guy like that he only feels sexual attraction in love. Which almost made sense because of how our sex started.
I finally say fuck it and check out all his social media and hes liking women very different from me. And wrestler chicks that are hardly wearing anything. He tried to say that it wasnt anything to him they arent real. He doesnt want them he wants me. Hes like no matter what he did i kept asking for reassurance. I almost broke up with him over his likes but I was weak. We spent the day together and made me feel like things were going to be ok. That he'll stop liking looking at them because he said he loves me so much! Offered to move me in said he would marry me.. He seemed serious and that he would do anything for me. At 5am i wake up for some reason and hes breaking up with me in text. Well already got rid of everything us. I hopped in my car and got my things. He said my friends think youre insane because they know i dont look at stuff like that. I believe he believed that they weren't real or because its wrestling i shouldnt have a bounadary of him liking and checking them out. Even though he says hes not attracted to them but are you kidding me they are stunning. Super fit. So he broke up with me because I went looking to see his truth. Very much looks like a lie he doesnt do that and he defends tooth and nail it wasnt nothing and im just crazy. Made me think it was fine things could be ok. He worshipped me but it felt like love bombing a lot. And gas lighting when I find what my gut says is happening. He would plead and beg he wouldnt ever do that so i looked online. He always said i could go threw his phone but never imagined id take a scroll to social media. He gave me some of the best of times. But the dude faultered when I needed reasurrance and keeping him accountable for the times im not around. Christmas i moved and watched him look at his phone with excitement and he left the room and in my gut I knew what he saw. Do you guys think he just knew I wouldn't put up with that and i knew too much? That he couldnt hide it from me? Was i just dating my mirror and when I held one up to him he crumbled? He went of his way so much its crazy to think that even someone who revolves their life and time. Attention can still not handle my bounadary. Called me insane for having that boundary.
I guess the age shouldve been a red flag but he seemed so genuine. Made me feel so warm in the darkest days. Just needed to hear how i shouldve went with my gut the first time. Need some harsh truths
The fact that you're writing these many paragraphs about a situationship with a man is enough for me to say that you need to dump him asap, sorry. There's nothing to think about, you're stressing yourself out for a man who's 11 years older, won't give you the kind of sex you want and acts like a porn addicted loser, oggling women and following IG baddies.
Doesn't matter if he went out of his way for you in the beginning, because what you see now is what you'll get for the rest of the relationship. Things will probably be worse and worse as time passes by. You're so young, why would you waste away your precious time like this? Run while you still can. Block him.
He was love bombing you, then switched to gaslighting and triangulation.
Golden lesson here: Ignore everything a man says, and just watch his actions. Words without action is manipulation.
That doesn't sound like fun. What's the point of dating a man who makes you feel bad? Dont date men who make you feel bad. There's nothing to analyze or figure out. He's acting like an asshole because he is an asshole. Dump him, block, delete, and forget all about him, and then go have fun instead.
Bullet dodged. The 11-year age gap is a red flag for abuse. He made you feel crazy, which is what abusers do. He called you crazy and insane. He said you could look through his phone. You found the evidence his words and actions didn’t line up regarding other women. You intuition told you there were other women. He dumped you for a bizarre reason but really you just saw behind his mask, and his ego needs someone naive who idolizes him, which is why he doesn’t date his 40-ish peers. Bullet dodged!
Age gap. 🚩
Quickly tries to have sex with you after just a month of dating. 🚩
Broken dick that he swears it's just his nerves. (Porn sick = ED) 🚩
Calls you insane despite you having clear evidence that he's ogling other women. 🚩
Trying to speed up the relationship by lovebombing you and future faking you with marriage. 🚩
Girl, he's the whole damn circus full of flags everywhere! Please block him and never speak to him again. He's ~genuine~ to you because he needs to have you dazed and confused when the cheating and abuse begins.
Sis, this guy is NOT IT and you already know this. What specifically has he done to ‘go out of his way‘ that you would feel like you owe him to this extent? You mention this several times above so it’s clearly on your mind. Write it down in black and white and really have a good look at the reality of his behaviour, without all the words and thoughts about it acting as a distraction.
Also, no matter what he has CHOSEN to do for you, he hasn’t fucking bought the rights to either your boundaries OR your soul. There’s no lengths anyone can go to which gives them that.
If there is anything I have learned its always trust your intuition. Mine has NEVER been wrong. Especially dreams. One tried to warn me very early on about a dangerous narcissist and I ignored it. Another tried to warn me of a destructive addict and I played it cool.
Both were spot on.
We have to drill it into our heads that most men are hot garbage. They lie, deceive, manipulate, use, and gaslight to get what they want. They do not inherently value women and only see them as a means to an end.
Assume this first until they prove otherwise and you will never be confused by their shitty behaviour again.
I read P. A as "Penis Atrocity" instead of "porn addiction" and I think it works here. The bad sex alone a man wouldn't tolerate so I cant do it either. It just ain't right.
I had to stop u at you are 26 and he is 37. That’s to much, stop right there! Get rid of him
at 26 you can do better
and any guy can give you a better dick than this loser
This is dumb AF. You don't need your head set straight you need to find your brain bc it's fallen out of your head .
Consider reading the handbook, or maybe any book to spark your sense of dignity