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Beware the man who touts himself as a “very giving” person.
It will usually come up like this:
“I’m a very giving person. Unfortunately, because of that, I’ve been taken advantage of in the past.”
This is intended so you will drop your guard. So you will say “Oh no, poor baby! He doesn’t deserve that! I would NEVER take advantage of him!” And jump through hoops to show that you’re different.
If a man has been taken advantage of, let him learn from the lesson.
Imagine the roles are flipped. You are dating a man, and you say to him,
“I’m a very giving person. Unfortunately, because of that, I’ve been taken advantage of in the past.”
Can you imagine his response being, “Oh no, poor baby! She doesn’t deserve that! I would NEVER take advantage of her!” And then jump through hoops to show that he’s different?
Of course not. He would think 1) you should have known better and not let that happen, surely the signs were there; and/or 2) cool, she’s a doormat who will let me get away with things and has poor boundaries.
I always have a side-eye to men who say this sort of thing. It’s usually followed by a gradual decrease in providing, usually and ironically on par with an increase in relationship status or seriousness, and time spent together. In time he may even start to suggest that YOU pay for dates, YOU financially support him, YOU buy him gifts and presents, etc.
All because some girl(s) took advantage of him once upon a time, so now he’s simply not comfortable, or just insecure, about being as generous as he likes to pretend that he is—like really, deep down inside, he’s the most generous, giving person on face of the planet.
Just not with you.
Just not right now.
Maybe, one day, he’ll be comfortable again being how he really is, on the inside.
If you do enough for him to make him feel comfortable.
If you work hard enough to win him over.
If you put in enough of your time, energy, and resources, maybe, just maybe, one day, down the line, he just might reward you for it.
Don’t fall for it.
“Giving” men are the biggest takers of all.
Yep and what do women in the past have to do with his current woman? He shouldn't be holding present women accountable for his exes actions. It's not her fault he has a shiy judge of character. He shoulda picked better and stop playing the victim.
it means he likes to give you problems and headaches
LOL. Men who say this, 100% of them, were never taken advantage of by anybody.
They're red-pilled into believing everyone wants their troll pennies so they "need to watch out."
If anything, they dated some poor, unfortunate soul, they found out he's into watching some type of awful porn, or he always flirted with some girl at work, or he was some type of abusive, etc etc. or something else that is awful, and the girl left and took what was rightfully hers.
Ya know. Like how they bitch about child support, "She took all my moniess!"
My guy, if you're that scared, don't date. We like provider men, not scared boys who made up fantasies in their head once they were finally dumped.