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Had the conversation with an alternate number. He immediately offered to pay for dinner and my uber to and from. And I looked up all the restaurants he suggested and they were all really nice.
Then he started talking about sex.
I responded that I don't do sex without commitment and I require condoms and 3 clean STD panels. And that I don't want to talk about it anymore.
He proceeded to tell me he is a single dad and that his wife died of cancer in October of this year! Then tried to casually bring up sex again. Asked if I would mind him just sticking the tip in before putting on a condom, that he had been in a 5 year DB before his wife died. Double red flags!
Maybe this was pickme of me but I cut him off and said "Not only did you just disrespect my boundaries by bringing up sex, unprotected at that, but you see me as nothing more than a bang maid and an unpaid au pair as well. You need counseling. " Blocked and deleted.
I know I need lots of improvement vetting but I feel overall I dodged a huge bullet.
Eww, yeah, you definitely dodged a huge bullet.
His wife died two months ago and he's already out trying to bang someone else? Disgusting.
What does DB mean in this context? DB can stand for so many things.
How much do we want to bet his wife died from a cancer that comes from being exposed to sexually transmitted disease?
Not only does he have no concept of boundaries, he has at least one kid presumably still reeling from losing mom. Instead of focusing on that, he's going around looking to get his dick wet. What a guy 🙄
You cut him off before even meeting him in person? You did good.
begging for a crumb of sex. pathetic
I think your answer was perfect!
You were strict, cut his bullshit immediately and ended conversation with admirable self respect. Of course you never owe man an explanation, they know exactly when and how they showed disrespect, but when keeping it short and un-negotiable and then block without letting him whine about how "I was just jokiiing! Don't be so rude to meee~", it can be stylish exit.
Widowers sleeping around before the ink is dry on the wife’s obituary. Damn. Stone cold fuckery. No thanks, I don’t want to be endlessly compared to a perfect angel or whatever.
Speaking as a widow, so many NVMs assume that widows are poor, lonely, and horny. I’m not any of those things by a long shot. I also don’t get how delusional they are with the “Here’s a ready-made family, aren’t you just thrilled?” I’m happy to get aggressive and say, dude, I have no kids by choice. I damn sure don’t want yours. They can die mad.
He probably brought a date to his wife's funeral. Hell, he probably left her in the hospital to die whilst he went to just "stick the tip in" on any other girl who was unfortunate enough to like him. He's truly awful. You did the right thing by blocking and deleting him. I had a coworker who asked me out 2.5 months after his wife died, and I knew and liked his wife! I was so offended. But what he really wanted was a nanny for his baby grandson who'd been born drug addicted and with fetal alcohol syndrome due to his schizophrenic whore of a daughter. Like I was just dying to step into that shituation.
That “dead bedroom” excuse was probably the same one he gave to all the women he cheated on while his wife was still living. He pushed your boundaries because he knew he was unlikely to pass the STD panel.
Stick the tip in? Isn't that a thing teenage boys say? You dodged an atom bomb.
He literally said “just the tip”? GROSS. He had no respect for you at all.
I feel like the dead wife could’ve been a lie to get you to feel pity for him with the hopes of getting you into and out of his bed as a married man (then use that excuse to avoid committing bc he moved to soon and still needs time to heal, but would love an arrangement to have nsa sex regularly). I met a guy online once that lied and said he was taking care of his mom who was recovering from cancer (one of his many lies). Like, what was the point of that??? I wish I knew her to tell her how shitty her son was that he would pretend his mom had cancer to get dates smh. Also, another dude lied and told me his ex got an abortion without telling him (another dumb lie among many) to get my pity. Why are they like this?!?!?!?!
The uber ride to and from was the first red flag. It "seems" hvm, but he's really trying to force you to be stranded, so he can coerce you into staying the night with him. I had a date with a orthodontist, that i thought was hvm, who tried same thing. I insisted on driving myself, and thank God I did, because he had just "happened" to reserve a room at a hotel across the street from the restaurant. Uuumm K..
Jesus that's disgusting. I'm hoping he's just lying about his wife being dead as that's normally a thing married or separated guys do