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Hey ladies, I sometimes hear myself speak and cringe at how hard i throw women under the bus. Where did that even fucking come from? I think to myself. I've seen myself do it amongst powerful men in networking situations. "I'm dominant too, I can play the game" but in the end I'm throwing myself under the bus in a way. Sometimes it helps me get what I want in the short term.
A girl comes up to me in the street, "your dogs are cute" my brain responds with immeadiate judgement assessing her confidence levels and how much make up she has on. I catch myself again...where the fuck is that coming from. 'I'm sure she's a lovely person', my brain insists.
Is there another way? What books or anything would you recommend to try to unfuck my brain.
At the end of the day we're all humans who want roofs over our heads. You've got to learn how to "play by the rules" before you break them right?
Call this bullshit out for what it is.
There's got to be another way, right?
Erin brockovich? Thoughts?
Getting fake tits to get what you want?
I knew a female lawyer with fake tits who told me she used them to her advantage and *it worked*
Feeling lost
Which way is up?
Which way is down?
What the fuck does it mean is be a high value woman in this world?
What does is mean to level up?
Thinking about ending it all or getting a tit job... built in sarcastic defensive survival mechanisms kicking in.... (not serious, but these are honest thoughts spewing from my mind. Bringing awareness to them,promise I have other thoughts that female positive)
Love and respect to my sisters out there, forgive me if these are the things we're not supposed to say out loud.
I think it's great you are genuinely questioning yourself like this.
It reminds me of a book ("A woman") from the past century by Italian author Sibilla Aleramo. Perhaps I should make a post about it.
At the beginning of the book, she's very male identified, loves her father who grew her like a boy (which back then meant being a person and having freedoms), and is judgemental of her mother's weakness, seeing her as inferior.
Then adolescence comes, and she ends up getting raped and pregnant and married to the rapist, like it used to be in those days. Slowly, she loses the status of "person", becomes depressed and for the first time in her life, she understands her mother and identifies with her.
I think internalized mysosyny at its core is not just internalized hate of women including yourself, but also trying to reclaim status and personhood in ways that are misguided, counterproductive or passive aggressive.
like all privilege, it's how you properly utilize it that matters. the line between good and bad is paper thin so how do you maintain that balance?
e.g. if you're pretty and you network professionally with only men or in male-dominated spaces, are you doing so to lift only yourself up or other women as well?
i've been told that i have a great amount of charisma that has helped open many doors and i check myself by ensuring that i use that power to bring up the underprivileged without compromising my morals or sense of self. it's a delicate tightrope to walk but doable once you figure it out.
What does that even mean, used fake tits to her advantage? Did she win trials because of her fake tits? So there's no way she was just a good attorney? Any plastic surgery can give people a confidence boost, and sometimes that's all they were missing. So yeah, I guess maybe that could work, in its way.
People hate this post. I find that interesting. We’re all people. Some born hot and some not. But don’t act like you would behave differently just because you assume you know what it’s like. Don’t judge. Rather, consider the question and the dilemma for what it is. Don’t act all high and mighty like you don’t own a drop of make up that you’ve put on for a “confidence boost” Confidence for what? TO GET YOUR WAY AND GET WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE don’t act like you’re putting shit on your face to stare in the mirror for yourself everyday. Some girls go all natural Some girls slice their bodies Some girls use their femininity and sexuality Some girls don’t know how or just don’t We’ve all got tools in the toolbox whether we’re a 0 0r a 10 to play in this patriarchy Get off your high horse Don’t act like your better than a fellow sister We’ve never going to get out from men’s finger by this doomed point of tension between women, looks. They created their ideal of beauty and its weighing us all down, as women’s beauty is sold faster than pussy to EVERYONE UNDER THIS STRUCTURE, yes you, yes I know you’ve been to a fucking Sephora. This is the stuff we don’t say out loud. So deprogramming books, ANY suggestions? Ps today I got a large coffee instead of a small coffee for the price of a small because I smiled and I think the barista liked my smile. I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m so brainwashed into smiling at everyone all the time. Strangers on the streets. Nice girls smile. I don’t do it consciously. I don’t know how to stop. Even when I recognize that perhaps a stranger wasn’t giving me the “nice” kind of smile.
She admitted that she used her boobs/looks to get her way in several situations working as an attorney. The same way I used my looks to get into clubs when I was younger. Or flash a flirty smile to get just about anything. It has nothing to do with belief it has everything to do with giving an attractive woman what she wants simply because the man is attracted to her. Hmm same thing with Kim k using all of her plastic surgery to get attention and sell shit. It has everything to do with her plastic surgery and very little to do with her competency confidence or abilities.