.png)
I don’t explain myself. I don’t send paragraphs, I don’t tell them when I’m hurt, and I don’t ask them to change core behaviours that upset me. I simply vanish, block and delete. If they reach out to try to re-establish contact, I do not respond.
I do not need or want men to know the depth of pain they have caused me. I want them instead to move through a world that is devoid of women’s energy to feed off.
Edit: To clarify, I do block and delete. Unfortunately men can create new accounts with which to harass you, as we all know.
Yep. They always know what they did. The fact that they didn't care and did it anyway means you should just walk away. Never give them the satisfaction.
They know what they've done, 100% of the time. This is a good attitude to have in today's dismal dating scene.
I know someone who said
"It's just how we women unfortunately let men down" after having a conversation about ghosting...we get sexualized, disrespected, manipulated, I can go on....but ghosting men to protect ourselves is letting them down? On top of that she believes it's cowardly to do that too. It's not being a coward, it's putting yourself first.
We don't owe men anything.
This post should be pinned in the sidebar somewhere. It's the core of FDS and key to a happy life for women.
I attribute my recovery from the last LVM (the one who inspired me to find FDS) to the fact I never paragraphed him or told him I knew what he did or how it hurt me. I just blocked him everywhere and never spoke to him again. The trauma he caused would've been a million times worse if I'd tried explaining to him only to get gaslit and invalidated some more.
As a plus, ghosting confuses men and rocks their worlds because they're not used to it. I unexpectedly ran into him a year later at a business meeting and he was obviously nervous and miserable seeing me the entire time, stammered a lot, and looked like an idiot. I'd had the year to recover so I was fine, and I looked good (poised, hair done, put together).
I smiled, asked questions he couldn't answer in front of our colleagues, left the meeting, never saw him again. He's still blocked and I haven't sought him out, and it's gonna stay that way.
Yes, but don't forget to block and delete.
I wish I can pull this shit with my ex husband as we share a child together. I swear to god the anger I have inside of me from the control and abuse I have to tolerate and pretend it doesn’t bother me is sickening.
Good. I wished I did the same. If I could go back in time I would roundhouse kick myself in the face for sending a whole novel to a dude about why he hurt me and all I want is to be treated with respect and kindness that’s not on an expiration date. I’ve been foolish. But better see mens true colours and learn my lesson than never learn it at all.
From now on I’ll take an example of a true Queen. I leave right away without a word. The only thing that bothers men enough is walking away.
The thing about paragraphing (which I used to do *all* the time until I came across FDS - this shit really saved my sanity) is it also sort of forces you to rehearse ruminative thought patterns about your shitty non-relationship. It gets you into the habit of constantly over analyzing the situation and trying to find the most elaborate reasons to forgive your pointless scrote and go back to dating him. It's not just taxing, but it's also a waste of mental resources.
I think a lot of women don't realize (until they get into the habit of it) just how much kinder blocking/deleting/ghosting is to yourself. It clears the way for new stuff and as you've put it shields your mind from the draining energy of LVM. It also ironically makes it easier to fully come to understand your former relationship, since it gives you the space to see your ex or soon-to-be ex as they really are.
"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes"
Wow !! Amen sis
I text the thoughts and feelings I have to myself. That way I get it all out, but he doesn't know about it.