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Queens,
I started talking to someone a while ago (similar culture, religion, etc) as this is what I want for my future partner. Oddly enough I met him on a dating app geared towards people in our community and after chatting with him, I found out he knows a good friend of mine and his uncle is one of my dad's friends of 16 years. He just lives in a different town hence why we probably didn't connect but the distance on this app I forgot to adjust so we matched.
It's been two months and for the first month he was respectful and kept asking me to meet in person but I was travelling for work then went back home then had another vacation then was busy with my mom so he waited a month to see me and was a gentleman about it. He just asked if we can chat on the phone during this period to get to know each other so we did and we had a great time.
Now my dilemma is that I know where I stand with him so I'm not confused. He is chasing me and he is not ashamed to admit or anything and he listens to everything I say and respects my boundaries.
However, I have this fear in me since it's been over 1.5 years of talking to anyone that things will go wrong or he will turn out to be a bad guy especially after my divorce 3 years ago and all the horrible LVm stories we hear and see on the daily.
My heart is being protected and I see him investing a lot of time and effort as he should. How can I differentiate my fears now or should I stay on the edge? I just want to have fun seeing him as he is clear about his intentions and is ok with taking things slow at my own pace. There is no sex before marriage for me so I'm not worried about that.
How can I do both? In my head all men are awful and I'm always going to be vetting him and will never get too attached but it's stressing me out 😫😫😫
I have a feeling it's going to be serious but I will always have one foot out the door. He definitely likes me a lot more than I like him and I am little reserved meaning I don't share a lot about myself as he still has to prove himself to me. Just need some advice on how to task it easy and enjoy the process.
My therapist who is an FDS queens says she doesn't see any yellow flags for now and to proceed but it's the internal fear I have in me that I need to calm down. He doesn't scare me and he makes me feel good. Any advice?