.png)
So I have blocked and deleted Texas Lawyer Guy, and yet a part of me, the pickmeisha part that I've mostly trained out of myself, still has this urge to reach out and give him a piece of my mind about precisely why I blocked and deleted. Not to worry, I won't do it. It's not worth it on many different levels.
However, FDS queens, I want your help in understanding the how's and why's of block and delete, don't over-CoMmUnIcAtE, don't accept invitations to all the arguments you're invited to. I for one have always had a super hard time with absolute commands, "thou shalt not" or "just don't x". My eternal question is WHY? Once I know solid reasons for not doing something, it makes more sense, and I always appreciate other perspectives.
Overall, every time I've thought about reaching out again to TLG, I think about how exhausting and draining it would be on many levels. All that typing, all that negativity, all that over-communicating, and to what end? I have a deep suspicion he would DARVO me, turn it all around, blame me, weasel out of accountability, or perhaps even worse, be really contrite, push yet again for a reset, and the same problems would still be there -- he's geographically undesirable, a state away, and having looked at other pictures of him, I realized I'm not attracted.
I'd appreciate other FDS queens telling me stories of what happens if you do NOT block and delete, if you allow a sniffer back in, if you do attempt a reset, and what happened. How do men take it once you do block and delete? How do they take it if you don't? Thanks.
There are several reasons for why I do not explain and just ignore&block.
First, I do not want to spend my time and effort without recieving anything. You have to look out for yourself.
Secondly, the moment he disrespects you - you got your closure. Removal of attention is the ONLY punishment men respond to. Overexplanation or comeback no matter how genious will not give you ANYTHING.
Ghost. Block. Delete. Your attention, no matter how positive or negative, is a prize to men. There is a reason why men hate ghosting so much cause it works for the benefit of women.
Have you ever heard a men agonizing months later over a "witty" comeback you gave them. Ghosting them? Will haunt then for YEARS.
Edit. I actually forgot to type out the story in the first place 😅. I had this guy reaching me out after 5 years with a new IG account on why I have ghosted him. He was like, I have always wondered and to be honest I wanna know etc. Lol, glad that it haunted you scrote.
Telling a guy like this where he went wrong, helps him get better at manipulating women.
Also, it gives him more opportunity to reel you back in if you keep engaging with his bullshit.
These guys are looking for attention of any kind. Not unlike a toddler acting out. Even giving negative attention would be giving them what they want.
Do you want to play right into their hands? I sure don't. That's why it's a good idea to cut them off.
I'm not perfect at this, either, but I get better the more wisdom I glean from all you queens. This is a good question, it's good to examine why we do these things - it helps us get stronger and wiser. ☺️
The simplest answer is that I have finite, precious time and energy. If I give some to a man who I already know doesn’t respect me and has nothing to offer me, that occupies me, lowering the chance that I will find and sustain a relationship with a man who actually will better my life, meet and exceed my needs, and love and cherish me in the ways I deserve. Another, more metaphysical way of looking at it is that we all have an energetic level which is influenced by the caliber of people we associate with. If you choose to associate with cold, disrespectful, or immoral people, your energy sinks to that level, and you become a worse person. But if you block and delete, you are able to associate with people who raise your energy level and enrich your life. Don’t let a LVM drag you down to his level, when you can simply cut him loose and rise up like a bird out of a canyon.
The only "why" question you should be asking yourself at this point is: "why do I care how this guy is receiving my block/delete when I've already determined several times now that he is not worth dating or even being friends with?" Block/ delete is not an absolute command that you have to figure out or dig deep into. It is the voice of reason when you know you are engaging with a sh*tty person. Why are you allowing a sh*tty person to make you question, "dig into" or second guess the voice of reason.
This urge to give him a piece of your mind is out of anger and spite. You want to hurt him as much as he hurt you, to shake him. It's normal if you've recently learned fds.
Another thing is that lvm will enjoy whatever attention you give him, good or bad. You talk shit at him, he revels in how you're still invested in him emotionally and how he's affecting you. You know what actually shakes them? Silence. If you're not at the stage where you can be Zen about it and make it about preserving your energy when all you wanna do is lash out, consider this.
Wield your silence like a weapon.
Men hate being ignored more than anything. It makes him feel powerless and small. If you've read their posts enough, you'll find that they get the most unsettled, not at their girl chewing them out, but at her silence and apathy. They know you're truly done with them and they hate it.
If you can't be peaceful because you want to choose violence, do it with silence.
When I've talked back, I got drawn into a pointless back-and-forth and with time I regret giving these pricks any of my time and energy. Giving them a piece of my mind achieves nothing because they don't listen, as you already know.
When I decided to stay silent next time, responses have varied from begging and crying to indignance and lectures in my DMs. All of which I've screenshotted and mocked in the girls chat. With time, I knew this was the right decision. Its a win win because not only do you spite him in the short term, you do so at no expense of your time or energy in the long term.
If you still want to lash out, find an outlet anywhere else. Write your sassy quips in your notes app. Vent to friends and talk shit about him. Just don't let him know you're bothered.
You will find peace in not giving him another sliver of your time, trust me.
giving him a piece of your mind shows him that you’re affected by his behaviour. which tells him that you care about him so much that you’re upset. he’s going to feel proud of himself. that’s human nature.
Another good reason for block and delete (if it hasn’t already been pointed out yet) is that men in general don’t respond to explanations; they respond to consequences. Any interaction you give him after his bad behavior is seen by him as a good outcome (you’re still talking to him—who cares what you’re saying?), so in essence you are rewarding his bad behavior with more attention/interaction. You’re continuing to play along with his notion of himself as the main character, and women as NPCs: there to respond to his actions, and provide feedback. By ghosting, it’s like you’re saying “nah, fuck that.” and kicking him out of the game.
The comments are great!! Just to add some extra points - it seems like you are somewhat internalizing wanting to tell him off as something that you shouldn’t do and if you did it you would blame yourself for it. I would suggest you to stop “shouldding” yourself. There’s not a right or wrong way. When you feel like telling him off maybe just observe that thought. Try to figure out how it would actually serve YOU. Instead of trying hard to push yourself the other way. The truth is, our urge of telling them off comes from internalized cultural misogyny. Media has let us believe if you communicate to men in a dramatic way they would understand what you’re saying then feel bad and maybe change their ways. In reality this does not happen. They do not response to this type of communication. Is your goal to make him feel bad? The best way to communicate with them, is to not communicate at all. Ghosting is the perfect way to deliver your message.
This is like itching a mosquito bite, yes you may want to itch it and it may superficially feel good during maybe, but what does it deliver you? An even more itchy bite. Block and delete is like the itch cream that will subside the ugly bite he is. Let’s imagine the BEST outcome possible from you reaching out - given information we already know - let’s say he responds in the best way possible and somehow apologizes and wins your heart. What have you won? You’ve won a nasty scrote you’re not attracted to who will likely put you down in the future repeatedly (based on who he has shown himself to be) chipping away at your self esteem and your happiness with his ugly ass face. Is that a win sis?
Men have no issue playing scrote games. Being hot and cold, texting you and love bombing, and then suddenly taking hours and days to answer and acting "cold". They have no issue negging and being devils advocates. It's a game. They want to manipulate and control you.
The only way to win the game is to NOT play it. A clown can't be doing his circus theatrics if you aren't allowing him to entertain you. Ghosting and blocking stops all of it. He no longer has access to hurt or try to control you. (Because lvm will be trying yo control you, otherwise no woman will fall for them, they have nothing to actually offer)
He can't hurt you or waste your time if he still has ACCESS to you.
I would also like to know more. It must sound low value but I’ve always been vindictive and would still want time to get my revenge (inflicting similar pain on males that they inflicted on me), but I’ve taken the FDS approach of block + delete since then. I would love to hear other opinions as to why the latter solution is optimal.
Disrespect is the closure… so basically negging is self-cockblocking!😂
I have a question! I’m happy to block and delete but when I see him again in passing and he asks what happened, what can I say that’s simple, to the point, and calm? I’m just not interested??