I don't want to "watch his back while he watches mine" -- I want him to take the wheel.

Be careful with this mentality. A woman should always have her own money. Money equals freedom. If you are relying on him to, "give you your shopping money and you're on your merry way", this also means he can NOT give you any money to control you and to force you to do his bidding..I would rather slit my wrists than allow a male to control my freedom with money.

Every woman is entitled to her own dreams and visions. I applaud you for being clear in what you want, and I wish you the best of luck in obtaining it (genuinely!). However, personally, I am very cautious when it comes to a lifestyle like this. Complete dependence on a man is a very high risk -- even if he's HV, he could have health issues or be laid off from his job. It sounds like a great dream to be provided for in a way you never have to worry about money, bills and work at all, but I personally wouldn't want to make the sacrifices needed to life such a life.

I’m not sure how do you expect to have a healthy high value relationship when you don’t want to contribute to it? I’m not talking financially.

Women are a lot more powerful thank you think. I personally will never stop working even if I married someone with money. I will continue my career, or open my own business or not for profit and ensure I have my own financial independence while he takes care of me and the family. I want to be a role model for my son.

I see my future husband as my partner in life. I can’t be with someone if I keep looking at him as just a source of income. What I want is a truly deep connection filled with harmony and peace. Having your own financial independence is a threat to a man because you can leave at any point. He doesn’t have that control over you. Even if he is spending money on you, save why you can and invest what you can.

You do you but I disagree with this message. It’s your life though so and if that’s what you want then you need to make sure you have an amazing wonderful man who will never do you wrong in life.

No offense to you, OP, but this post irks me on some fundamental level. There was recently a post warning about the future of this sort of mindset, where a "feminine energy" woman is entirely dependent on a man for all facets of a relationship. Spoiler alert, but it did not end well: https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/ask-the-admin/the-future-of-the-feminine-energy-pickme

I sympathise with this post in some ways. I get wanting a relationship which is genuinely uplifting, where a man doesn't just add to your burdens, but relieves you of them. But the mentality in this post can lead women to a dark place, IMO. A man who seems willing to provide all that you might want can still switch up on you at any time - you can be left with absolutely nothing, including few means of returning to even your old standard of life, if the worst comes to pass. I have seen it time and again, sadly.

I'm going on a tangent for a moment. To any women reading this: don't confuse your frustration with meaningless struggles with wanting a life free from the pain of growth. And don't give men the power to take away the meaningless struggles in life.

So many of the pains of modern life are absolutely not worth having, I agree: building men up, working bullshit jobs that serve no purpose other than making rich corporations richer, being a man's unpaid therapist, giving more than taking in all your relationships , making career sacrifices on a man's behalf, bearing the unbelievable mental overload from social media and constant communication, "struggle love."

But some pains are absolutely a part of the deal if you want to be truly content, IMO: the pain of discipline, the discomfort when engaging in self-reflection, the willingness to be bad at a new hobby or skill when you start, healing trauma, the changes in perspective when you see your loved ones go through their own crises or pass away, building relationships with worthy people, trying to find a purpose in life, the struggle to prioritise mindfulness over being led by your preset patterns, volunteering your time and efforts to worthy causes, attaining religious or spiritual growth, trying to be someone who not only consumes but produces something of value (read: not necessarily monetary value) in the world.

A lot of the "feminine energy"/"stay woman" folks don't make this distinction between worthy and unworthy pains, and it allows a lack of discernment to masquerade as high standards.

This isn’t exactly what I want, but I can understand the desire. My advice to women who seek this is to secure your present and future. Make sure your name is on any assets, always have an escape fund that he can’t access, maintain a strong social life outside of your shared circle & make sure you have a way to earn income, just in case. Oh and get a prenup, of course. Otherwise, enjoy! 😊

Edit: sorry, the more I think about this, the more I think it's just a bad idea, even with the precautions listed above. I know so many women who can't leave because they are financially dependent upon their husband. If he's wealthy & generous enough to immediately give you $5 million or so, then yes, maybe it could work. But I know absolutely no one who has encountered a scenario like that. Reentering the workforce is so difficult for women as well. Please understand that my thoughts are coming from a place of concern, not judgement. I hope you find someone who is everything you want and more. Just make sure you look out for your own well-being too.

The comments are INTERESTING! Interesting to see what people project/how people are interpreting this. Personally I interpreted it as: I'm 100% independent AND if I have a man in my life he has to meet these/my standards, otherwise I am good on my own. I didn't see it as tradwife, but maybe that is in fact what you intended? Either way, I deeply resonate with wanting a man who LEADS. Read that again: leads. Not DOMINATES, COERCES, or CONTROLS, but: LEADS. No one want a SoftDick™.

So sick of grown men-children who are looking for a momma. I find a man in control of his life and affairs (and brain etc etc) very appealing. And if he brings that 'shit together' attitude to our partnership? * chefs kiss *. Basic stuff though, that for some reason in a devolved times... is a unicorn HVM lol... Similar to @SereneQueen, I bring that boss bitch energy to my own life, so I need a MATCH as a bare minimum. And yes, I want to relax in my relationship and be in my feminine. If that triggers you, dear reader, that's ok.

A man “taking the wheel” is incredibly attractive and HV. Personally, I am career-driven and very comfortable making and managing my own money, so I don’t value a financial provider as much. But I get fatigued with physical exertion as well as with mental/emotional load. So I have selected a partner who is competent and has high stamina for physical tasks and emotional IQ. I can imagine another woman would appreciate a high-earner who works a ton, leaving her plenty of extra time and money to enjoy her home, shop, travel, etc. We each deserve to find a strong, generous man who takes the wheel in exactly the ways we most want and need!

I'm absolutely tired of being hyper independent and need a provider man for sure. We just have to vet whether or not he's genuinely providing bc he cares or bc he wants to control us.

I will say, the message of, "...if I don't get [insert standards here], I'm happy to stay single," is one that I love. While I completely understand that there are a lot of possible debates with the content of the post, THAT was the message that resonated with me 🧡

I love the message in this post.

The strong take it or leave it without shedding a tear is 👍✨️

I've seen relationships of the type I think you're describing. The husband is the breadwinner and helps around the house. The wife is a housewife who works on personal (often artistic) projects, and her income does not matter to the husband. They have no children, so childcare is not a requirement for the wife, though she does do some of the cooking and and cleaning.

It works out beautifully, and all the wives in these situations seem happy.

Just wanted to say I love your take it or leave it attitude. 👏🏻

Sounds more like a sponsorship than a partnership.

You can do bad all by yourself, why would you need a man unless he's going to make things better?

You’re not describing a romantic relationship between an adult man and woman - you’re describing a relationship between an adult and a child. I understand wanting someone to take the wheel in some of those aspects. For me it’s emotional labour. I get tired making major decisions and planning things on my own. When I go on holidays with girlfriends, I make sure they’re the kind of ppl who like planning and booking things, so I can relax.

But to expect this from a life partner AS WELL as financial support is unreasonable and not a healthy mindset for an adult. And dangerous, for the reasons that others have already noted.

I wouldn't be cool with a shopping allowance. I would expect all money coming to me to manage.

As mentioned before me, alway keep your assets separate, in your name, in a trust, whatever works in your country.