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Okay, I give. I am someone who has been alone for so long, and never really understand what's the big deal with relationship. I dated once, and got bored after 3 months. I don't have "boyfriends" -- I just have suitors.
I don't understand this fear of ending up alone or dying alone or whatever -- it is just life. We have nursing homes now and you can even setup your own caretakers -- what's there to be afraid of?
I don't hate men or want to WGTOW or whatever -- just that being alone is my default state and it will take someone really, really mind-blowingly amazing to get me to agree to share my life with him. Being with a man is not the end goal for me -- he is just an option, like a luxury car. If one day fate come knocking on my door and shove this dude on me saying "This one is yours", and he proves to be a great HVM fully ready to provide and protect me till his last breath? I'm not gonna not take that opportunity.
So comes the question -- am I so mind-blowingly amazing that I "deserve" to have this great man paying all the bills for me? Give me gifts and pay for all the dates? Treat me like a queen and act like I am the most beautiful woman on earth? Do I look like Miranda Kerr or Ana de Armas that (as scrotes like to say it) -- the "audacity" to think I deserve the best of the best man?
No, I love myself of course but I ain't gonna win any modelling competition. Plus I have atopic ezcema, so my skin doesn't look great. I also have zero wifey skills or parental skills or household skills -- I only learn what I want, and cooking/cleaning/chores aren't part of that -- I just learned enough to live. Also I am chronically lazy and doesn't give a f**k about it.
So if we go by the logic here -- no man would want me as his wife either. Because he will end up taking care of me in addition to his other responsibilities. Who in their right mind would want that, right?
But here's the thing -- like I said earlier, being with a man is just an option. So all these questions about deserving or not deserving or "who are you to demand this and that from a man when you aren't great" becomes irrelevant.
BECAUSE I DON'T CARE -- I just being me and living my life. He is the one who made the choice to pursue me -- so it is all on him.
We are WOMEN. When you start the journey of levelling up to become a HVW, you will start to understand one crucial concept -- WOMEN are designed to be courted. We aren't designed to be out there chasing a man, going 50/50 to keep a man, mate-guard your partner, or do all the pickmeisha bob-the-builder mommy bangmaid supermom of steel paying all the bills and doing all the chores and childcare while that stupid piece of shit just sit there twiddling his stupid thumbs.
We aren't designed to worry about whether we "deserve" that man. Or do all these stupid humiliating things society tells us to do so that we "deserve" that man. Because you don't need that man -- he needs YOU.
You are the gardener of your own flower garden. You are busy tending to your garden and make sure they all flourishing well. You are peaceful and content by yourself. He is the one coming to your door, trying to get your attention and ask for your time. He is the one busy doing silly dances and thumping his chest trying to show you that he can take care of you if you give him the chance. He CHOOSE to pursue you -- so what society thinks of you is IRRELEVANT. That's all him, you just act accordingly as the one being courted.
"But what if no man wants to court me?"
In real life that's almost impossible unless you live in a place where there is ZERO men (or all the men suddenly turn gay) -- but fine, let's entertain that thought. So what can you do?
NOTHING. Just live your life. Get busy with your flower garden. Take care of your skin. Learn new hobbies. Visit new places. Adopt pets. Do all the things you want to do, or learn new things you thought you didn't have the time before. Try new exercises. Challenge yourself with something new. LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Get brutally honest with yourself and understand just why do you get so desperate, so hungry for a man's attention and validation when we all know -- 99.99% of those are worthless? And why do you rely only on a man to be happy? You don't have faith in yourself?
I don't have any good advice on how to be okay with being alone other than just DO IT. Start doing it. Get used to it. Endure it. Live in it and learn to stay in it while levelling up yourself. Be tough and disciplined with yourself. It ain't easy but it is CRUCIAL.
You can continue to wallow in your state of misery because "no man wants me" -- or you can start being tough with yourself and slowly learn how to be comfortable in your role as a WOMAN. And realize that with or without a man -- you are still happy.
Stay safe.
I like this view on loving yourself and trying to be happy not being in a relationship
You get some guys that wouldn’t help you if something happened. You get ones that want unusable woman. My last bf was someone who wanted woman to do everything for him. A human baby is what he was.
Men have called some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen ugly, and various put downs, like easily more gorgeous and stunning women, even celebs that they fawn over. If those women get the same put downs, wtf would I take those insults seriously. At the end of the day, it's men running around chasing women because they can't stand to be alone yet they also can't be nice to us.
A huge reason why women believe they cant be alone is because of their upbringing. The great news is, its reversable. You just need to teach yourself that this is bullshit and you will learn life is enough the way it is. Your job is to live not to be a half of a whole.
Kind of came to this conclusion too. I have my standards for my life. And if a guy can’t meet that, what’s the point. I’m not going to make my life worse for a guy. If he wants to step up and be a part of it then he can.