.png)
When I was going through the breakup, and finishing up some logistical things with my ex some things were said and are still bothering me months later. Something came up were he was trying to get me to meet up to talk. Somewhat hinting at a resolution/ working it out, but not really... he wanted to remain friends and I did not. He wanted to talk and I said I wasn't interested if it was for "closure" I don't need that. He was very non committal and said he would talk but no expectations. I said I deserve better than that. Anyway he follows up with, he doesn't believe we communicate well, and if we can't do that how can we fix it. Also he hasn't been sexually satisfied for the last like 8 months. Ouch.
When we first started dating sex was hot, but not. He had trouble. But I always had a really good time. It got better for a little, when we were having sex consistently and he was able to finish... Then it started becoming less frequent. I felt sexually deprived. I am not one to initiate, trying to stay in my feminine energy. I would have sex every day if I could maybe twice!
Background he had issues maintaining an erection and finishing. It ebbed and flowed. He was always able to maintain for long enough for me to finish. When we first started dating he said that this had happened before and his girlfriend felt like it was her and he said it was terrible they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then it just went away after 6 months. So I never really said anything about it, I figured he knew. Also kinda by telling me that about the ex, I dunno made me feel like I shouldn't talk about it.
Anyway, I feel gross and awful about it. I thought he was the problem but him wording it like that makes it seem like it was me. I know I didn't initiate or talk about the sex but I was very clearly always very receptive and affectionate.
I dunno it is just digging into me. Please help me out here 🙏🏻
Men are "sexually satisfied" by f****** a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
If he is under 40 and not able to maintain an erection when having sex with a beautiful woman who loves him, he is most likely a p*** sick scrote. His comment is a reflection of himself, not you. Woman don't need to have "skills" in bed. That's what the patriarchy tells us. We are the prize. It is men who need to please us and impress us.
Porn sick, broken dick!
He's having trouble keeping hard because he's been doing the gorilla grip on his you know what and now can't finish with a real woman. How pathetic on his end. As long as men keep watching pornography, they will never be sexually satisfied with a real woman next to him.
It's kinda funny when you think about it. Here they are, freaking out about women not being virgins and being damaged goods because of it, but then they will watch porn and beat themselves nearly to death before crying about not being able to get aroused by their own partners anymore. As far as I'm concerned, a man watching porn is damaged goods to me.
I see a lot of red flags here from him. Clearly your communication just wasn’t happening and I see it as him not volunteering anything. The whole time I was reading this, porn kept coming to mind, otherwise what’s the problem? How old are both of you? If 20-40, and there’s no other underlying medical issue for him, that’s extremely sus and again I’d suspect a hidden porn addiction. The fact that he didn’t respect your needs at all just makes everything seem lopsided and non-reciprocal. Blaming you, kinda sorta triangulating with former girlfriend… just no. Dude does not have his life together. You are well out of it with him.
It seems to me that he was intentionally trying to take you down and make you feel self conscious. The fact that you held your power with how you wanted the relationship to end has intimidated him and his response was to belittle you. As @asit123 said - his comment is a reflection of him and not you.
Impotent men ALWAYS blame women for their dicks not working. Please, run away, block him, and never speak to him again. Impotent men also tend towards violence and serial murder; many serial killers are impotent. I had an ex who told me every woman he’d ever dated had cheat on him. When we tried to have sex, I found out why. Three inches, not hard, and circumcised improperly so that he was truly deformed. I told him I loved him and that I’d support him as he went to the doctor. He got so angry with me and said things like, “I can’t help it you f*cked a guy with a big dick, and I’m not big enough for you. It’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. You just want me to get a penile implant!” He was SO crazy and used to do weird shit like taunt the police. Just run whenever a man is impotent. He will always blame you for his own dick problems. I hadn’t even had sex in 4 years when I met this guy, and he was the 2nd guy I’d ever been with at age 32. There is NO pleasing a man like that. RUN.
his erectile problems scream porn addiction. don't worry, sis. don't waste your time and energy thinking about this scrote. you've got your whole life ahead of you.
His dick is broke! You talking ain’t gonna fix it 🤷🏻♀️ Porn sick, limp dick. I’m seeing parallels between how his ex felt like it was her problem and how he’s trying to recreate that guilt trip with you. He’s trying to put the onus on YOU to fix his dick through “communication” when IRL his problem was most probably created through HIS actions and can only be fixed by HIM (very telling that both relationships had the same problem). If you tried to “communicate” with him, all you would have achieved would be more pain, labour and wastage of time.
Also what I would like reassurance on is the communication strategy. I tried to just communicate with my actions. I feel like him saying we don’t communicate well , like I should have tried harder to CoMuniCatE? This relationship was the first that I didn't try to talk things out all the time and "communicate" soooo much, all the emotional labor. Maybe I should have tried to verbally communicate more. Of course I would be more than willing to talk about something if he wanted to. He said he had felt very anxious and didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about the communication and sex. This is also someone who stonewalled me for a 5 hour drive on vacation, WTF. Before we got in the car to leave I asked if there was anything we needed to talk about, he was upset and we had a fight the night before, he said no. Obviously there was.
But he was a porn addict, right? Or gay? Or on anti-depressants? It's gotta be one of those three things, probably the first one. I dont see how any of those things could possibly be your fault. He wanted you to magically heal him so that he could have a broken dick and still have sex with a real woman, and thats simply not possible, nor is it your job.
Men’s sexual dysfunction has nothing to do with their partner, unless they are old and sick, they usually are porn addict spiraling out of control, watching increasingly hardcore porn, and handling their **** like it owes them money. The worst part is that people either hide it, or they feel it is “sex positive”.
Porn sick broke dick. Like a true scrote tries to blame it on you. 😡