How to stop feeling inferior to ex boyfriend?

Sometimes the most mean spririted, selfish or domineering people are the most successful by modern societies metrics of popularity or financial success. We live in a culture which elavates some of the worst characters around.

Look within, try to give yourself some grace and see where you can build yourself up.

Stop keeping tabs on him to avoid the temptation of measuring your life against his.

Drop the friends who support him and make new ones to avoid being weighed down by shared history

Remember that social media isn’t real, everyone is deceiving each other

Make new friends

This could have been written by me. Big hugs to you. My head and self esteem were messed with badly, to the point I thought I needed to "be successful" in a traditional sense to be a worthy human. Even though I witnessed what my ex's success meant in reality firsthand (like using me for domestic labor and also money even though he was worth a quarter mil by age 25 which is a freaking lot in my country), I couldn't shake it. Slowly I remembered that those thoughts were based on HIS values, not mine. Never mind that he was miderable all the time, while I was in tune with myself and fairly content up until he worked to knock me down at least five pegs. It was really hard to see him continue to succeed after we broke up while I was at rock bottom, back in with my parents, no idea of what to do with myself. I started to internalize it all and think that this was "proof" that I had been in the wrong all along. Of course, that's a load of bullshit. Don't accept blame for things that were never your fault. Don't accept blame for the fact that men have an easier time building a career and are allowed to grow up with a sense of entitlement that sadly opens many doors. Focus on where you're at now and where YOU want to be, separate from all outside expectations. I know it's hard, I've had do LOTS of work on that myself. We know we want to change and live up to our potential but we also don't want to sink into a pit of despair and self-hatred. I've recently read "The Kindness Method" which has been a huge help in that regard. The gist of it is that we need to be motivated by kindness (with ourselves) and positive change and not the feeling that we lack something or aren't good enough. You are good enough and everything you need is already inside of you.

success is the best revenge. all you can do is live your best life.

Sad truth is, men don't pay for their mistakes and we carry with us the burden of their mistreatment. So when we break up, we pick up the pieces while they thrive unbothered. I've seen this too many times. It's a pattern. The only thing to avoid it is preventing it by not staying in unbalanced relationships. But other than that, I still haven't found a "cure" for the resentment, the grief and yes even the hate that I feel about this. Perhaps what helped me the most is not checking on these people and not giving them the opportunity to check on me. But tbh, it's not a cure. It's a necessary band aid. The pain is still there, I just avoid triggering it.

This sounds cocky, but I've never felt inferior to any man I've dated, no matter his accomplishments. You should feel the same.

I consider myself pretty darn HVW. I'm intelligent, educated, accomplished, beautiful, and fun to be around. I was raised by parents who treated me like a princess. I often think when a woman is as HV as I am, the only way she could possibly date is down.

This should be your mindset in your future interactions with men and towards your ex. Based on your previous posts, I understand you're an intelligent person. You seem inquisitive, practical, and fair-minded. You would be an asset to any man who dates you. Full stop.

Do not even entertain the idea that you might be inferior, because you're not.

Your success and happiness don't hinge on what happens to him. Don't expect him to "get it." He's an abuser and a sociopath - for him, the pain he inflicted on you was the point. Of course he's not sorry, but you don't need his validation, because you don't need him for anything, because he's a worthless person.

I get the feeling you want to see him fail, because it would validate your experience with him. Unfortunately, real life doesn't work on our timetable. Terrible people often do experience consequences for bad behavior, but it can years, and sometimes they bypass it if they have enough money and power.

It doesn't change the fact that they're horrible people, or that what you experienced was abuse, and that it wasn't your fault.

I've gone through this scenario several times, unfortunately. The fact is, there are people out there who are like natural disasters. They hurt everyone they meet, even the dumbass enablers who defend them.

You won't necessarily see it, because these people cover their tracks. Sometimes you will. I've sadly dealt with enough sociopaths in my time that I've heard quite a bit of dirt through the grapevine: criminal cases, arrests, destroyed marriages, bankruptcy, dying due to their dumbass decisions.

Sometimes I haven't, but I've learned it doesn't mean they're not still destroying themselves and others, and it doesn't change what happened to me. I know what I experienced. I know these people are evil and still destroying everything they touch. I know it's a blessing I got away from them.

He's a terrible person and you don't need him to validate reality to you. If anything, his denial of his abuse is just more proof for you that he abused you, because that's what abusers do. Nor do you need to see him fail before you can move on.

He already sucks. That's the reality. Only a terrible person would abuse you and not care. The people who enable him are dumbasses too.

These people abused you because they're abusers. It's not because of anything you did wrong. I'm so happy for you that the trash took itself out and you no longer have to deal with any of them. They didn't deserve you.