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Hi all,
Small dilemma sorry if this is long!
I work in an open plan office. We have a new employee that started with us a few months ago. She is very young, under 25. From the beginning I was open towards her and friendly as normal, but an incident this morning has kinda annoyed me. She came in announcing that she'd broken up with her bf (bf is a huge scrote, she has talked about him at length already and the whole team said dump him). She decided to come over and ask if I was wearing makeup (no), then said BITCH loudly (so everyone in the vicinity heard) and then proceeded to state loudly that my jumper was inside out and laughed about it. I said something along the lines of thanks for telling me in the middle of the office (as if I was the type to get embarrassed this would be) and she kept going and then picked up my food and asked why have I got veg and tried to get others in the team to comment/laugh.
Should I let it go or pull her to the side and mention it?
I don't think it's appropriate for a colleague to be this casual in the workplace. I think she has forgotten that it's an office. Not college. Don't confront her. Report to the manager. This isn't your problem to solve. It's your manager's. And from now on, don't go near her unless it's work related.
I definitely think you should document this incident and report this behaviour to your manager the next time it happens. This is not work place appropriate behaviour and this is not up to you to teach her. She needs to grow the fuck up. A workplace should be a place of respect, nothing she should do should jeopardize that. I am guessing she is feeling vulnerable and may feel threatened by you, or else, why would she single you out?
Next time she attempts to bully you in front of everyone, just look at her and plainly ask "Did you really just ask/say that?" to flip it around on her.
O god, DONT BOTHER WITH THIS WOMAN- if she's trying to bully you in public no private chat is gonna change her- and it will just give her more ammunition. Let it roll off and then focus on the coworkers you do have a good relationship with- yea it's cliquey but that's the point. If she continues to pull this on you then report her to your boss, like right away. Make a written documentation of this event, prepare to record in case of the next incident- and report her. YOU ARE NOT PAID ENOUGH TO BOTHER CONFRONTING A BULLY- that's literally why they pay managers, don't trouble yourself with her and don't worry about what she thinks of you- you are competent in your job and get along well with your other coworkers, already more professional and successful than her.
I had similar happen to me at my old job. Second time I met the pick me she tried to humiliate me in front of a group of colleagues. I pulled her up straight away in front of one of my colleagues. She then tried to gaslight me. So be prepared that your colleague might say ‘ I didn’t mean it like that, or it wasn’t my intention. If she says the above or doesn’t change her behaviour then limit your contact as best you can. Funnily enough after I put her in her place, my colleague kept trying to ask me out for drinks and I was like no. I think your team will see what she's doing. My colleagues told me she was insecure, so as I was new she tried to test my boundaries which backfired.
pull her to the side and mention it. one warning and then you call her out openly the next time she does it.