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Hiii, long time lurker, first time writer. I got so annoyed being on Hinge that I had to sign up to rant lol
This is the third app I've tried in the past year or so. The other two, I do admit, I got a gratification from early on (Like getting literally over a hundred likes in the first 20 minutes) but I realized that there was no quality in these men, which gave me the ick immediately after. Like, legit 40yos going after my early 20's ass. Or dudes I thought were attractive until seeing they're ONS, sort of thing. So I switched to Hinge on a friend's recommendation.
I'm just super annoyed because like I get I live in a smaller area, so the pool isn't that big, and I didn't expect to make as many matches (I barely sent any likes). But I swear to god, all but one of my matches did not even send a cursory first message.
I'm sure you all have similar rules, my rule is that I don't respond to a match if they don't introduce themselves, because: 1: They're probably matching with anyone that likes them, no compatibility filtering 2: I've commented on (some of) their prompts, so I consider that as an opener. Like if you matched with me, then why wouldn't you respond to that?
Anyways so this is half-rant, half-ask. How often do your matches message you first? How long do you wait before unmatching? (I would give the day or so) With those that do message first, what kind of openers are they?
Currently doesn't matter that much to me now because I'm taking a break from Hinge, but still!
i follow the same rules as you do as i never see the point of making convo with someone who doesn't send a proper opener. so i reject anyone who simply likes my pics or prompts.
I never initiate contact. Never exceed his energy. If he sends a like, I may return the like, then wait 1-2 days to see if he can step up and write a real message. If not, unmatch. If he sends a nice first message, I may respond in turn. If he sends a one-word/copy-paste first message, immediately X. I live in a smaller sized city, so by applying these vetting principles, Hinge moved slowly. I would say I had maybe 3 new matches per week, resulting in approximately 1 date per month (lots of additional vetting between matching and an actual first date). OLD should take very little time or energy, or else it will drive you mad. I see it as a way of making myself visible, giving men an avenue to pursue me, while expecting that almost none of them are worthy of me. You’re not looking for subtle gradations of quality on OLD, you’re looking for an occasional gem to shine out through the manure.
Id suggest not commenting on their prompts. I'd compare that to sending the first message i.e. pursuing. I think it's ok to like their pictures and prompts (i.e. dropping the hanky).
Anyway I've noticed Hinge moves a little slower. I liken it to how men would approach you in real life (if they still did that) For example I'll only talk to a guy or two a week on Hinge, whereas Tinder is an entirely different story. You can talk to 5 guys in the matter of 10 minutes. Id suggest patience- they'll come to you it just takes more time.
i’m in considerably big areas but i don’t take people seriously until they make efforts. i do get messages but it’s nothing meaningful for the most part
I usually just like their picture back if they liked me then I wait for them to make an intro. If I don’t like the prompt/opener i unmatch. I don’t do OLD anymore and I have so much peace lol
From all my years of failed OLD, the rule is, if you don’t meet someone within the first 2 weeks, quit. Those were the best options and after that, you’re stuck with the leftover men who can’t get women or who play the field.
I get a lot of generic “heys.” I now ignore those.