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Being a SAHM is cautioned against by FDS, and with good reason. Many SAHMs leave their marriages and enter into the world of poverty, never to escape. Employers frown on gaps in employment, and staying home to raise our children is no longer seen as a noble cause in this 50/50 world. However, I was a SAHM and I don’t regret it. And looking back, I can see that there is one specific thing I did that worked out immensely in my favor: I got my ECE (early childhood education) units while I was married.
Daycares and preschools are ALWAYS hiring in just about every city in the U.S. And while these jobs aren’t the best paying, many of them offer benefits on having your children in their program while you work there. In my case, I was able to have my twins with me at work, and only had to pay 50% of their normal rate. Daycare is prohibitively expensive, and these savings helped me a ton. But the biggest benefit to me was being able to still spend time with my kids.
It only takes 12 units of ECE to become a preschool teacher or to get hired at just about any daycare, and most community colleges offer these courses online. During my marriage to the Biggest Scrote in the Universe I also completed many prereqs for nursing school. After my divorce, I still had a few to plug away at, and did so very slowly while I worked full time and raised my kids. I am now in my 5th semester of a BSN program and am excited to soon have a well-paying job. I'm also very glad that I never got stuck paying HIM child and spousal support, which would have been the turd sandwich I can possibly imagine.
I’m not posting this as advice, but rather something for consideration. I never should have married my ex, and if I had FDS back then, I never would have given him the time of day. But I am actually very pleased with how things have worked out for me. And to be honest, I am certain that if I had a good career while married, I would have been fired due to endless court motions my ex made, which forced me to take multiple days off work (I was blessed that my boss at the preschool had also divorced a narc, so she was familiar with this tactic. However, had I been fired at the preschool, I would have simply started work at another, as again, they are ALWAYS hiring).
Just some food for thought.
My SAHM niece wants to finish her college degree then become a Montessori teacher or aide! I am so all for it.
There are some forum posts that just stike you as you read them. This is one of them.
This is such a logical path! You have children? Then you have the skills to look after children! Make money and it has usefulness in having daycare! And healthcare is definitely one of the growing fields out there.
Yes being a SAHM is incredibly noble when the marriage is between a woman and a HVM who would never dream of hurting her in any way. Absolutely nothing wrong with making this choice, for sure!
I think the best way to look at it is that women in general, no matter where she is in life, to stay in touch with the world even once she is settled down, married, and having babies. What you did with the units while married was incredibly smart, and something that all married women should do in case things go belly up. (As many marriages tend to go through, sadly.)
I strongly recommend also, for myself and other women reading here: Volunteer. They absolutely count as work experience, even if you did not get paid for them or was paid very little, and can be put down on your resume. Take community college courses at night, or online courses, to get a certificate or two. Keep growing your skills, especially skills that are STEM and/or business related. You can take classes that are fun too, such as the arts and humanities, this can count towards a full blown degree. Taking classes while unemployed also counts as work experience.
Lots of suburban moms I've met also talked about having little gigs that they do for cash, such as house sitting, dog walking, babysitting for neighbors and family members, web design, growing a home business they can do online at their house, selling unique things online, etc. Stash your money away for your "fuck off" jar. Always, always, always save up. And yes, all of these things can be used for your resume.
Thanks for this thread, OP!
I love to see women thrive after sadness. Way to go!