How far do you go with not chasing?

As far as the chaser’s role, he does need to be initiating in the sense of actually nailing down plans and escalating the seriousness of the commitment from the beginning to the end of the relationship (ie asking you out, asking you to be his girlfriend, etc.). I think it would be fine to do something small in the mean time while dating to show your appreciation/interest (buy him a coffee, ice cream, pay for a movie ticket, etc. here and there) but not anything crazy and never the full bill, and only if you actually want to. You 100% do not have to at all and men get that even if they would never say it out loud. But just keep in mind it’s technically not FDS, it’s more my personal standard.

To chase there must (to me) be a signal to chase and then a response from the chaser of some kind. If you are sending out signals (stating interest aloud in doing certain things with them, making eye contact, smiling, typical flirty behavior) and he does not follow or begin the chase he isn’t interested. Don’t pass go, don’t collect $200. If he does, he is interested and this begins the chase. I think the way you’re describing it would be good for announcing the start of a chase (ie, “I would love to go out with you again” as it’s not the same as “I’ll pick you up at seven to go to our reservation at xyz restaurant”, y’know?) but ultimately letting him take the lead in the “hunt”. For me I think you can still definitely signal interest and be flirty while maintaining your distance while he chases, and I think men find it very attractive when women do this.

Be hard to get and keep, the sperm chases the egg and men need to understand they will need to chase women (especially HVW) to receive the attention from them that they want. We are the choosers, not men, and hence do not need to chase. Men will literally think something is wrong with you if you chase them because even they know how assbackwards it is and how much men benefit from women chasing. For the man he may have mentally “won” the chase by getting you to choose him, but he should still understand that he needs to maintain that level through your relationship to keep you, so the chase may change but he will still need to keep chasing none the less. Men who don’t love you or respect you become totally complacent and take you for granted after you become official, hence why the chase never truly ends.

I’ll add, the man must initiate every escalation in the relationship. He must ask you on a first date. He must ask you to be his girlfriend / in a committed relationship. He must say “I love you” first. He must propose to you. The more you can sit back and let him take action, the more you will be confident that he wants to be with you and is willing to work hard to keep you.

This doesn’t mean that you are being cold or withholding in a “playing-games” kind of way. You can certainly express that you enjoy his company, you love him, you want to be with him, whatever the level of your relationship already is. You simply stay in your feminine energy and let him take the lead to demonstrate his continuing dedication to you.

I personally wouldn't say "I'm up to meeting again" before he has suggested it, that is an indirect ask. You can and should express your appreciation and positive feelings for how he's already showing up, from a genuine place of course.

"I had _such_ a great time, thank you." ((smile smile, eyelashes fluttering, gentle arm touch))

"That place was beautiful."

"That food was delicious."

"That's so thoughtful, thank you."

You can throw in some compliments about him too, in a teasing way. If the guy is really interested in you, he'll be in heaven if you let him "score" with you like that.

If he asks you to meet again, you can of course say "yes, I'd love to!" All this to say, you don't have to act cold, you can show your genuine enthusiasm if he's coming correct. It's good manners to say "thank you" whenever someone does something for you. Just add in some flirtation/warmth/enthusiasm if you're intrested in still seeing the guy.

I am very educated on what is / is not chasing from extensive research a few years ago. I ended up not chasing my ex at all and he completely chased me and he still managed to flip things around on me once we were together by being so withdrawn that if I wanted any affection at all I would have to come to him. My point being, the early stages really don’t matter as much as your journey with not chasing once you are invested in the relationship down the road. I recommend that you let him ask you on all the dates but don’t really read too much into everything early on because really the hard part comes later. If you have to chase at all at any time it is best to just pull away and assume he is playing games in my opinion.