Nope people are on their phones all the time. I know enough women who will ignore their friends and familys texts for days at a time but immediately answer their bfs texts even if they're stupid 1 word "hey" texts. If the pickmes can prioritize like that so can men.
100%. If he's not replying you, he's not interested. Anything else is an excuse.
Unknown member
Jan 12, 2023
speed of response can also indicate quality of attention. i only ignoe people i don't care about or people i'm angry at.
31
Unknown member
Jan 12, 2023
I don’t take advice from bald, medium-ugly men that I wouldn’t look at twice.
28
Unknown member
Jan 12, 2023
Replying to
Hey!
You know this man is fugly- stop gassing him up 🤣
Unknown member
Jan 12, 2023
It can’t be that hard to text someone “Hey, I’m currently doing XYZ and will speak to you later” it doesn’t require that much effort either. But how long is a “delayed response” before it turns into ghosting?
What is the point of saying this? Like bitch you already know how you feel about someone when you're eager to reply to their texts - why wouldn't you want a partner who feels the same way? Men really think they can mansplain your own internal world back to you - it's madness.
I'm extra surprised that this bald ass mf is this audacious - he must already have trouble getting women and now he just shoots himself in the foot with this garbage.
What does delayed even mean??? Plenty of people can't reply to messages because they are at work or are busy living their life, it doesn't mean they are overwhelmed.
also, I am sure LVM already use that excuse when fading on you or zombieing.
That’s what I think as well. If I’m working all day and not responding right away, it doesn’t mean I’m ignoring anyone. I also will not expect my partner to be messaging me all day long. My ex did that and I hated it. If I’m at work, I rarely respond or wait until lunch time but I also do my workouts during lunch so I’m busy. 🥹🥹
Sounds like an excuse.We accept only valid reasons. If you're getting overwhelmed over regular texting/interactions then you have some serious work to be done on yourself, in which case, we will give you all the space for the same and more 👋However, if I see you handling other aspects of your life normally, getting too overwhelmed to respond to a simple text from me is gonna make you look like a liar.
Excuses. My boyfriend is one of the busiest people I know (like to the extent it's in the "con" column of the relationship). If I send him a quick/scheduling/logistics question, he responds fast. If I send him something that requires a thoughtful response he will quickly respond that he saw it and will respond, giving it the attention it deserves, when he has time. Does the same with friends/family.
Just another example of men setting the narrative so we don't question their neglect and shit behavior.
Have a look through any kind of social media - most of what men choose to post and reply to is an attempt to assert their dominance and keep the discussion within bounds they find comfortable, ESPECIALLY when it relates to women, sex, and dating, even if they pretend like it's a more generic situation (such as above).
Once you understand this, it's easier not to take anything they say at face value.
Remember, ladies: If you so much as even think about putting a man on read or give yourself hours or around a day to respond, he will blow the fuck up on you, as all of these men tend to do. Men do not respond or take ignoring well because they know, deep down, that it's all bullshit and meant to be hurtful.
If men can't handle women asserting the lightest of boundaries to pace ourselves with them, then I believe they don't deserve those same boundaries that they try to assert (nay, FORCE) on us in return. He doesn't talk to me within 24-48 hours? Alright, bet. Blocked and will never hear from me again. Ta ta!
Same, it's a different thing when the person doesn't like to use the phone much or if the person is online but deliberately ignoring your texts, the first is okay, the second is just him showing he doesn't care.
I mean... it depends. People are constantly on their phones but not mentally there. At the same time, we all know there are some people for whom we'd drop everything for. If I really can't answer immediately with one of the people in this circle, I'll say something like "hey can I get back to you on this later?"
To me, speed of response is usually indicative of your position on the totem pole of value for that person. If I text my mom, for example, as long as she has her phone on her and she's awake, she'll respond immediately.
Sounds like a scrote guru redpiller trying to make excuses for his scrote bros.
If he wanted to he would.
Texting takes a matter of SECONDS. almost everyone is on their phone. Even cars allow you to text from them. Even laptops allow you to text and message.
Even for dudes that "can't be on their phones at work" let me tell you I have seen and been told from many that they ALL take their phones into the bathroom and they'll be scrolling in that stall.
There is NO EXCUSE as to why someone you're thinking of potentially SLEEPING WITH (because if you're chatting with him you're considering dating him and ultimately sleeping w him) can't make a few seconds of time to chat with you.
That Adam Grant guy gets a lot of social media shares, as if he's a guru, and his insights are basic "be nice" stuff.
Not helpful to teen girls and women who are being played by pornsick losers.
I've been listening to the podcast someone recommended here a few days ago; Unmasking the Abuser with Dr. Dina McMillan. She's got a way better take on this type of stuff.
"Rarely a sign of how much they care about you..." ha. Riiiight. Says who? Prove it, ADAM.
He is getting quite a lot of airplay for airing out his gaslighting statements.
Everyone is different. If you know your friend is always on their phone, and are usually prompt with their replies, if they start delaying a reply to you then it will raise a question.
I rarely look at my phone on my days off, so it can take me days to reply to someone. I also put it on silent because of my client work, and if I forget to put it back to ringing at me then I will miss days worth of messages.
But if I have a special someone and I can't wait to hear back from them, yes I will be looking at my phone.
I think the question is are they treating you differently?
That’s why you don’t text men first. The only indicator of his interest is his pursuit of you. If you’re texting him, and he’s not answering, he’s not interested. But too many women are chasing men and causing these situations in the first place. If he’s too busy for you, he doesn’t like you. I don’t text all day at work, because I have a real job and have to be in meetings and doing math all day. So it’s fine to contact me after work. But if he’s not contacting you after work to ask about your day and to discuss his, he’s not interested. Especially if this happens repeatedly.
It really depends, I guess... My partner isn't on his phone constantly. I actually like this about him. So he doesn't always see calls or messages right away. But yeah, if you're always checking your phone and not replying, AND there's nothing else of high priority going on, then it's a sign of low effort / low social skills if you don't reply reasonably quickly. That being said, texting is asynchronous on purpose (so people can reply when they have the mental capacity for it), I don't expect someone to text back after 5 minutes. If I need an answer right away, I'll call. I think it's a little bit weird that we make these demands of constant availability nowadays. I'd say the biggest red flag around texting though is if he is making excuses and not offering to adjust to your preferred communication level.
In my opinion, he's right if it is friends and family (even then, I try to answer within 24 hours). But yes sometimes overwhelm can happen.
With potential romantic prospects? Absolutely not! This IMO is a blatant example of gaslighting to manage down a woman's expectations so men can juggle more situationships. This is what helps women lie to themselves about a man's interest. And why wouldn't they, without FDS values? If our society keeps telling us how women ain't sh*t, how we aren't pretty enough, not "kind" enough unless we date everyone who asks us out, the sexist notion men are "less" capable of social skills, etc., why wouldn't women ne in that situation? Why wouldn't we attempt to dine on these crumbs from men as if they were loaves of bread? This is all a setup and why I severely side-eye advice from men. It's either good men who are clueless about depravity of many men and wrongly assume good faith, or a player looking to have more "loyal" woman (not interested in hookups) to be caught in a situationship/talking phase 🙄
Tl;Dr a HV man who is actually interested and not playing games will be *excited* to text you back, not overwhelmed. If he takes forever to respond, is low effort, or is acting overall disappointing, he's not it. The ones who are slow to text back (2+ days) might even be open to a relationship. But I would suspect such lukewarm milquetoast mediocrity and lack of passion would feel like adopting a 27 year old son 😬
I follow this guy in IG. He’s actually pretty insightful about trauma and has a lot of great content. I don’t think he was advocating in favor of the typical fuck boy who takes forever to respond. But that’s just based on my own assessment in context of his other content. I’ve definitely been overwhelmed and struggled to reply to people (I have ADHD) although eventually I’m able to settle and get back to everyone. I do agree that this does NOT apply to scrotes who use delayed responses as a form of emotional abuse. My thoughts are to use your best judgment about it. We all know the difference between someone taking a while to respond because they’re overwhelmed and someone not responding in a timely fashion because they’re emotionally stunted.
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Nope people are on their phones all the time. I know enough women who will ignore their friends and familys texts for days at a time but immediately answer their bfs texts even if they're stupid 1 word "hey" texts. If the pickmes can prioritize like that so can men.
speed of response can also indicate quality of attention. i only ignoe people i don't care about or people i'm angry at.
I don’t take advice from bald, medium-ugly men that I wouldn’t look at twice.
It can’t be that hard to text someone “Hey, I’m currently doing XYZ and will speak to you later” it doesn’t require that much effort either. But how long is a “delayed response” before it turns into ghosting?
What is the point of saying this? Like bitch you already know how you feel about someone when you're eager to reply to their texts - why wouldn't you want a partner who feels the same way? Men really think they can mansplain your own internal world back to you - it's madness.
I'm extra surprised that this bald ass mf is this audacious - he must already have trouble getting women and now he just shoots himself in the foot with this garbage.
What does delayed even mean??? Plenty of people can't reply to messages because they are at work or are busy living their life, it doesn't mean they are overwhelmed.
also, I am sure LVM already use that excuse when fading on you or zombieing.
Sounds like an excuse. We accept only valid reasons. If you're getting overwhelmed over regular texting/interactions then you have some serious work to be done on yourself, in which case, we will give you all the space for the same and more 👋 However, if I see you handling other aspects of your life normally, getting too overwhelmed to respond to a simple text from me is gonna make you look like a liar.
Excuses. My boyfriend is one of the busiest people I know (like to the extent it's in the "con" column of the relationship). If I send him a quick/scheduling/logistics question, he responds fast. If I send him something that requires a thoughtful response he will quickly respond that he saw it and will respond, giving it the attention it deserves, when he has time. Does the same with friends/family.
Bullshit, that's just neglection wheter it's on purpose or not. People who actually care about you will reach to you.
Do we want to be in a relationship someone who's that overwhelmed though in the first place?
This is so so so dumb. Both matter.
Just another example of men setting the narrative so we don't question their neglect and shit behavior.
Have a look through any kind of social media - most of what men choose to post and reply to is an attempt to assert their dominance and keep the discussion within bounds they find comfortable, ESPECIALLY when it relates to women, sex, and dating, even if they pretend like it's a more generic situation (such as above).
Once you understand this, it's easier not to take anything they say at face value.
Remember, ladies: If you so much as even think about putting a man on read or give yourself hours or around a day to respond, he will blow the fuck up on you, as all of these men tend to do. Men do not respond or take ignoring well because they know, deep down, that it's all bullshit and meant to be hurtful.
If men can't handle women asserting the lightest of boundaries to pace ourselves with them, then I believe they don't deserve those same boundaries that they try to assert (nay, FORCE) on us in return. He doesn't talk to me within 24-48 hours? Alright, bet. Blocked and will never hear from me again. Ta ta!
I'm super slow at replying because I don't like looking at my phone.
I mean... it depends. People are constantly on their phones but not mentally there. At the same time, we all know there are some people for whom we'd drop everything for. If I really can't answer immediately with one of the people in this circle, I'll say something like "hey can I get back to you on this later?"
To me, speed of response is usually indicative of your position on the totem pole of value for that person. If I text my mom, for example, as long as she has her phone on her and she's awake, she'll respond immediately.
Sounds like a scrote guru redpiller trying to make excuses for his scrote bros.
If he wanted to he would.
Texting takes a matter of SECONDS. almost everyone is on their phone. Even cars allow you to text from them. Even laptops allow you to text and message.
Even for dudes that "can't be on their phones at work" let me tell you I have seen and been told from many that they ALL take their phones into the bathroom and they'll be scrolling in that stall.
There is NO EXCUSE as to why someone you're thinking of potentially SLEEPING WITH (because if you're chatting with him you're considering dating him and ultimately sleeping w him) can't make a few seconds of time to chat with you.
That Adam Grant guy gets a lot of social media shares, as if he's a guru, and his insights are basic "be nice" stuff.
Not helpful to teen girls and women who are being played by pornsick losers.
I've been listening to the podcast someone recommended here a few days ago; Unmasking the Abuser with Dr. Dina McMillan. She's got a way better take on this type of stuff.
"Rarely a sign of how much they care about you..." ha. Riiiight. Says who? Prove it, ADAM.
He is getting quite a lot of airplay for airing out his gaslighting statements.
Everyone is different. If you know your friend is always on their phone, and are usually prompt with their replies, if they start delaying a reply to you then it will raise a question.
I rarely look at my phone on my days off, so it can take me days to reply to someone. I also put it on silent because of my client work, and if I forget to put it back to ringing at me then I will miss days worth of messages.
But if I have a special someone and I can't wait to hear back from them, yes I will be looking at my phone.
I think the question is are they treating you differently?
That’s why you don’t text men first. The only indicator of his interest is his pursuit of you. If you’re texting him, and he’s not answering, he’s not interested. But too many women are chasing men and causing these situations in the first place. If he’s too busy for you, he doesn’t like you. I don’t text all day at work, because I have a real job and have to be in meetings and doing math all day. So it’s fine to contact me after work. But if he’s not contacting you after work to ask about your day and to discuss his, he’s not interested. Especially if this happens repeatedly.
It really depends, I guess... My partner isn't on his phone constantly. I actually like this about him. So he doesn't always see calls or messages right away. But yeah, if you're always checking your phone and not replying, AND there's nothing else of high priority going on, then it's a sign of low effort / low social skills if you don't reply reasonably quickly. That being said, texting is asynchronous on purpose (so people can reply when they have the mental capacity for it), I don't expect someone to text back after 5 minutes. If I need an answer right away, I'll call. I think it's a little bit weird that we make these demands of constant availability nowadays. I'd say the biggest red flag around texting though is if he is making excuses and not offering to adjust to your preferred communication level.
In my opinion, he's right if it is friends and family (even then, I try to answer within 24 hours). But yes sometimes overwhelm can happen.
With potential romantic prospects? Absolutely not! This IMO is a blatant example of gaslighting to manage down a woman's expectations so men can juggle more situationships. This is what helps women lie to themselves about a man's interest. And why wouldn't they, without FDS values? If our society keeps telling us how women ain't sh*t, how we aren't pretty enough, not "kind" enough unless we date everyone who asks us out, the sexist notion men are "less" capable of social skills, etc., why wouldn't women ne in that situation? Why wouldn't we attempt to dine on these crumbs from men as if they were loaves of bread? This is all a setup and why I severely side-eye advice from men. It's either good men who are clueless about depravity of many men and wrongly assume good faith, or a player looking to have more "loyal" woman (not interested in hookups) to be caught in a situationship/talking phase 🙄
Tl;Dr a HV man who is actually interested and not playing games will be *excited* to text you back, not overwhelmed. If he takes forever to respond, is low effort, or is acting overall disappointing, he's not it. The ones who are slow to text back (2+ days) might even be open to a relationship. But I would suspect such lukewarm milquetoast mediocrity and lack of passion would feel like adopting a 27 year old son 😬
I follow this guy in IG. He’s actually pretty insightful about trauma and has a lot of great content. I don’t think he was advocating in favor of the typical fuck boy who takes forever to respond. But that’s just based on my own assessment in context of his other content. I’ve definitely been overwhelmed and struggled to reply to people (I have ADHD) although eventually I’m able to settle and get back to everyone. I do agree that this does NOT apply to scrotes who use delayed responses as a form of emotional abuse. My thoughts are to use your best judgment about it. We all know the difference between someone taking a while to respond because they’re overwhelmed and someone not responding in a timely fashion because they’re emotionally stunted.
I think it's good.