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I have always been the ugly short chick in HS,MS and college and almost every man was borderline ashamed of even being seen with me in public.
Now those same types of men have hit the wall so hard that they look unrecognizable. Not only that,but many of them are divorced with at least one kid under the belt.
Those types of men I know are the first type of users, since they never wanted to be with me back in their prime, and now see me as a backup plan during their decline.
However even when the man hasn't hit the wall yet, I want to know what is his usual type of women physically. I just cannot stand the idea of being the girl who looks nothing like his usual type, because that would make it quite clear that I was just the "settled for"/placeholder to whom the man settles because his usual type is out of his league, or they are not available yet.
Welcome back, getoneveryapp!
You’ll know he’s settling when he doesn’t treat you like a gift to himself every day. When his eyes don’t light up seeing you. When he doesn’t brag about you to his friends and family.
If he’s not doing these things, you aren’t special to him and you should dip.
I'd honestly not go for anyone who peaked in highschool. Or single dads.
Some good signs are that when you meet up with people you both knew, he cringes. They know he didn't like you back then, and he knows they know.
Same problem-ish, btw.
Social media history is your best bet. Many LVM don't bother to delete their old pictures from social media after they've broken up with their exes, and you can get a general idea of what types of women he prefers by looking at the types of women he's dated in the past. Of course, if he still has pictures of his exes on social media, you should block and delete on that basis alone.
Also, look at the types of women he surrounds himself with in his platonic social life.
Personally, I would rather not be a man's "type", and this is because I'm ethnically East Asian in the U.S. Any non-Asian man who has a history of dating Asian women is an automatic block and delete for me. When I see that a man is photographed with another East Asian woman on social media, it's a screaming red flag. Experience tells me there is a 100% chance he has fucked her or low-key wants to fuck her. Yellow fever is rampant in the U.S. male population.
I think that involves asking him a more serious kind of question. Mind you I do not have the dating experience that others have here. I am open to being wrong about this. I don't know at what time this should be brought up but a question like,
"I have a question about being single. Do you think there comes a point in your life where you need to prioritize being single over being with the wrong person, or does it come to a point where your singleness is so difficult that you can't imagine living that way indefinitely?" If he answers the latter or something like it, that's a sign he's settling.
Oh...how I know that merely imagining a script in your head does not mean it flows like that in real life...sigh. But I'm just thinking out loud right now.