How abusive relationships affect our physical and mental health. @lovingmeafterwe

Often when a man (or woman) first shows romantic interest in me or touches me, I feel a surge of anxiety/repulsion, have trouble eating, and dread running into them. Many of my friends tell me it's because I'm scared of commitment/intimacy/getting hurt, but I don't feel this way around kind coworkers/friends, so I wonder if it's my intuition picking up on their potential for abusive behavior?

Alright but for me living with an LVM looked like:

-sleeplessness: he would wake me up all throughout when I was sleeping. On purpose. I was always tired and irritable and less productive as a result

-stomach aches/diarrhea: honestly I think he just wasn't cleaning the kitchen properly or washing the dishes properly.

-weight gain: he would constantly be coming home with whole pies, cakes, fast food, calorie bomb drinks (unprompted) and then yell at me if I didn't eat it.

-hair loss: high level of stress from living with him, my hair would "shed" a lot more.

-more allergies/sneezing/seasonal coughs: he didn't clean up and also had cats he didn't keep up with. He'd try to have me do it all. When I'd go on cleaning strikes I'd start getting sick from the pets!

-low self esteem: was eating healthy and working out ....until I started getting in shape and other men noticed more. So he stopped driving me to the gym and grocery shop as much as I needed it (didn't have my car yet) and then started bringing me the aforementioned junk....and I gained that weight. Then he made me feel bad about it.