🎉🎊Highlights of our year 🎊🎉

- Defined and implemented boundaries with my mother, who refuses to acknowledge the abuse I experienced as a child but is a product of the abuse she faces - Defined and implemented boundaries with my sister, who has never really treated me well to put it mildly - Truly and completely stopped feeling guilty about cutting out my entire family bar my mother - Celebrated my birthday by actually making a big deal of me without waiting for family or my boyfriend at the time to care - Got a pay rise, so I earned the most I’ve ever earned the financial year - Created several more paintings that I’m pleased enough with to display as they dry on my walls (which seemed to make my friends very happy!) - Broke up with my long-term boyfriend early in the year as he treated me badly but I kept holding onto the hope that he would miraculously change, while I increasingly struggled mentally - Immediately invested in making my place more cosy and me rather than reining it in because of my ex - Went back to therapy, which is helping immensely - Began learning to play the guitar, which I’ve always wanted to do - Started going out by myself doing everything I want to like I did before I met my ex and without his judgement or voice in my head - Updated my wardrobe now that I feel like my old self again rather than unattractive as I had begun to near the end of my relationship with my ex - Travelled by myself for the first time a couple of times this year - Socialised in addition to my usual friends group and became more comfortable in groups; basically, I just do whatever I want when it comes to socialising now - Invested in self-improvement classes; money spent on your mental health is always money spent well - Noticed a huge change in the way I speak to myself and think about myself - Started dating again but implementing FDS rules and with my satisfaction of prime importance - Made Christmas plans for myself with friends for the first Christmas in which I won’t have family or my ex - Made New Years plans with my friends for the first New Years Eve in which I won’t have family or my ex

early 2022 wasn't great for me lol but im happy that i: • got a great job that pays well • invested more time into my hobbies and interests (piano, painting and bowling) • reconnected with old friends

This year is the year I discovered FDS and it knocked sense into me

Since then in the past year I have

- Cut off all toxic friends who would straight up insult and harass me, compete with me, go on smear campaigns when I didn’t agree with their pickme sex ”posi” ways

- Dumped my LVM who was emotionally abusive, mentally unstable and turned out to be emotionally cheating on me the whole time. He as a 34 yr old man jerked off to a 19 yr old coworker we had. He threatened to be a redpiller if I ever left him too. he’s vile ass trash I will never have to pick up again.

- Got a decent chill receptionist job that paid me the most I’ve ever been paid

- Moved out of the libfem overly expensive city I was in and back to my peaceful, affordable hometown that I hadn’t been in since I was a kid. It’s so quaint here!

- Relearned my native language Vietnamese and starting learning Spanish

- Learned to play harp!

- Learned to paint my own gel nails and upgraded my entire wardrobe

- Learned to really value myself and to no longer take shit from anyone again.

- sobriety

- got a piano for the first time since childhood

- booked my first post-covid international vacation for February

- made my last tuition payment for my masters (finish in the spring) and can start saving for other goals

- finally got together the courage to do a boudoir shoot (at a time my body wasn't it's "most porn-y perfect")

I need to remember to take this energy into the new year in the form of not picking my damn zits

- I (mostly) recovered and survived the worst health crisis of my life, which wasn't that obvious.

- I moved out of my mom's house despite being ill and my house is ❤️

- I applied for, and got, benefits

- I finally dumped my ex who had been a scrote to me for 20 years

- I vetted a guy correctly, despite not being in great shape I still saw through him. I can trust myself.

- I made some new acquaintences and some new friends along the way. Also reconnected with some friends and family. This point is a big deal for me.

- I spent some quality time with my sister, the most important person in my life

- I found a community irl where I can hang out in my hometown and I have fun with them

- I was reminded that life is not worth living if I'm not open, honest and vulnerable. I need to carry this lesson with me, because for the past month I've started to slide back in my avoidant/frozen/disangaged ways, which make me so fucking unhappy.

- Started going to the theatre again and supported a wonderful feminist theatre project

- Took up swing classes despite being dizzy lol, it helped me with that and now I dance 😍

- I started training as DV worker (not finished yet for above reasons)

- I had my first successful EMDR session after 3 years of therapy

- I went out on a first date after 5 years. It was a beautiful date. It's still a good memory despite the fact that Indiana Jones wasn't it. I'm happy that I went for it.

Now I just have to fucking get over this flare up of "whatever I had last year" bcause I deserve to enjoy the holidays thank you 🙏

-I’m a paid research assistant in graduate school -I also got a job in healthcare which will help me get into PA school, also has great benefits! -My friends and I have been seeing each other more! -I’ve been getting B+‘s and A’s in my grad school classes -My mental health has been getting better since I’ve been using my time wisely, and keeping busy -My shit list is helping me get over my toxic ex -I’ve started saying “no” more often and taking care of me -I’ve been taking myself out on dates, trying different foods, and going to museums

Thank you for making this thread!

• Said "no" to my ex after he begged for me back. Grew a spine and left him.

• Got a nice raise + WFH that earns more than my ex - never imagined I could do better financially them him, but here I am.

• Stopped APOLOGIZING often in work and in other environments. Became more direct with my words.

• Bought myself TWO "engagement-type" rings because, I can. I chose myself. I want to treat myself and send a message that I am not easy or look like I can be bought.

• Adopted my cat after years of fostering. He also enjoys the company of foster kittens too.

• Moved out to my own place and decorated it how I should with plants, cozy decor, and finest kitchen appliances money can buy.

• Skin got better, feeling mentally much better now I don't have to share with a manchild.

• Found time to get back into my hobbies and self-care now I don't need to devote time cleaning up after a scrub.

• My BFF from college is moving to my city after dumping her manchild. I don't think I will leave this place, not even for a man.

I am studying to become an English teacher. I got my Associate’s degree. I passed all my Praxis (teaching) exams on the first try. I had to do two more math classes to transfer, and I got an A in both of them (including Statistics). I’m going to start school at my new university in January. It has been the hardest year of my life, but I’m very happy that I was able to achieve all of these achievements

This year I finally got my driver's license. Next year I'm hoping to get a higher paying job, lose weight, and go on more trips.

Most of my highlights this year have happened in the last few months. Quit my day job to concentrate on the family business and side hustles that take way less time, make way more money, and frankly I enjoy much more. My stress level has also dramatically decreased and I find I deal with much fewer scrotey men. Hoping this leads to a less bitter attitude towards them in the future. Last month we completed the remodel of the lake house. I now spend weekends there when I'm not working. I surpassed 50k in my savings account, and that's while renting and building a house! Last night was the first night I've slept in my new house on the family farm, where I've been trying to get back to since I moved away 20 years ago. I'm walking on subfloor but there's electricity, heat, no creeper landlord asking me to dinner or trying to hug me and blocking my jeep in so I can't leave when he wants to 'chat', and I haven't heard a single siren go off in the last 24 hours. It's heaven. I adopted a little black kitten who I do not have a name for yet but in my head I'm calling Shadow because she's always underfoot. She has also become Cheif of Shenanigans at my home and is very snuggly. My side hustle is currently up by 138% and has earned $383k in revenue YTD. In January once I get past the holidays I'm adding 3 new products and I'm very excited to see where that goes. Last, my 9 year old niece called me "the most fun adult" in response to letting her help me glitter and resin a new top for my makeup vanity (It's VERY sparkly ✨️) so I've been riding that high for like a week now.

Love reading all your lists! It's a great idea to look back and reflect on our progress because we can be blind to it while it's happening. Things I am proud of this year:

- stopped giving so many fucks about other people's feelings and opinions

- (mostly) got out of the fog of the self image that was shaped by abuse and gaslighting

- prioritized my health more (healthier eating, strongly cut back on alcohol)

- got better at various hobbies (knitting, guitar, baking)

- grew more into a style that feels natural to me as opposed to the past where I mainly tried to accommodate my ex's tastes

- socialized more and put myself into situations where I had to socialize on my own

- did more things by myself to the sole benefit of myself

- re-started journaling

- started the process of a psychiatric evaluation to find out if I might have ADHD

- rejected more and more of my cool girl ways and set swift and firm boundaries when something made me uncomfortable

- let myself be spoiled by my partner (very hard to do when you tend to feel guilty when someone treats you well)

- cut the losses of my last relationship, buried and mourned the dreams I had for it and accepted that the things I imagined for my future are not going to happen or at least not in the way I imagined

- made myself more emotionally available to people who deserve it, tried my best to listen and empathize more

This year was a lot. Hopefully this will explain why I haven’t finished my FDS contribution content yet. Graduated with a hard and unique combination of BA and BS degrees in late 2021, & got recruited in 2022 into a complex STEM contractor job with a tech conglomerate where everyone else on my job got in with recommendations by knowing someone in my client company.

I also was the third female hire ever in the history of my team. And was the sole female employee in my team for most of the time in my current job.

There are complex training tests that every employee must pass to be able to remain on the job. Most people take months. I crushed it in 2.5 weeks.

Pioneered a new training method within my first 8 months on the job that impressed my division chief when I saw how shitty and mostly non-existent the training materials were. Also proved it in such a way that my misogynistic boss, who called me a diversity hire to my face when he first met me, couldn’t blame me for telling the truth to his bosses.

Went on a summer trip to a country that held some of my ancestors that I have never been to before and discovered by freak coincidence that I do actually have a distant Nordic ancestral relative named Elsa, which I did not predict at all when devising my FDS username. Life is full of surprises.

Finally can afford a therapist; who called me a badass after hearing about my experiences in the last few years.

Due to the rampant misogyny of my current job, I hired a career coach to help me get a new job that hopefully pays way better than I currently get by 2023. She literally assessed my skills and situation and promptly informed me that I would be fought over by tech recruiters if I

a) made it known publicly that I am job searching (which I can’t until I get a good offer in writing due to my current situation) and

b) had graduated at any other time than the 2019-2021 covid crisis period.

Please send good vibes Queens for an amazing 2023!