.png)
Had a 'situationship' with a guy 15 years older than me when I was 20 and it lasted 3 years. I let myself be treated like shit and used for sex back then. He's dating someone his age now and I was the only significantly younger woman he slept with, so I don't think he actively seeks young women - but he also didn't mind taking advantage of how naive I once was.
I already understand now the power dynamics make age gap relationships wrong. But I'd like more help moving on. I remember posts on FDS Reddit about "nurse and a purse" among other issues with older men. Maybe things like testosterone dropping at a certain age or erectile dysfunction? Having to be the caretaker / provider in old age? (Nurse and a purse?) I'm sorry if it's messed up to ask, but I'm sure there are more experienced women here who have had experience with older men and can tell me things that will help break my idealization of this 38 year old mediocre jerk.
I don't feel heartbroken any more, but I do still have my thoughts wander to him and I think FDS ladies can snap me awake with the reality of how unhappy I probably would have been.
MEN DON'T LIKE TO GO TO THE DENTIST Men don't like to go to the dentist (I've no idea why). So the older a guy you date, the longer he's gone without going to the dentist. The tartar and plaque buildup🤢, the bacteria you will be swapping with him from kissing have had how many years of a hospitable environment for them to thrive and become exceptionally effective at living in there🤢. THINK OF YOUR TEETH enamel doesn't grow on trees-you can't get it back. If you ever get a sore throat or sinus infection a few days after kissing a man KNOW THIS- he definitely gave it to you.and his mouth is nasty.
You'll be his caregiver in a decade or less, Older men are predators who would never date women their age and chances are high that you are scheduled to be replaced at 25. Older men have lower sperm count so chances are higher you have children with birth defects and mental illness, Do you really wan to give your children a father that could pass for his grand father? Older men mistreat and berate women their own age because they see in those women what you as a young woman should see in these older men, Washed up, used up and not worth your time, IF he has kids you'll be forced in step motherhood the worst and underappreciated status in the world. You'll be a step grandma aka nanny soon. His children will treat you with hostility because you are young and you're probably there to take his money but sweep their fathers predatory behavior under the rug, you're the real villain to them while he is the one who makes you put up with this.
Do you really want an old stinky bastard who will lose his looks and have a limp dingdong with a low libido in 5-10 years? Give A leftover man the price of exercising his options and screw you over with other women? Some dude who can't keep up with you energy wise? A man you can't relate to? A man who might boss you around like you're an eternal child?
You're a child to them they can exploit due to the age gap. Treat old men like they would treat you if you are older than the age they want.
Push them aside like trash.
As someone's who been there, you can expect:
- patronizing and you are NEVER allowed to be right about anything
- cheap
- they'll take ALL their insecurities about aging out on you
- talk down to you like a child
- nothing in common or to talk about since your lives are so different
- they'll likely embarrass you by trying to act young or show they're with you (see: insecurities)
- simmering resentment
- weird looks when you go out
- spending your social capital to make some old fart look good—and he's not even grateful
- a flabby, melted candle body or huge gut
- stinky old man breath
- they do NOT get better with age. They get lazier and more jealous
What I hated about dating older men is how they always wanted to "teach me" everything. It was like dating a parent. I was suffocating in those relationships. I was 20, and my 30 year old boyfriend kept saying I shouldn't wear band's t-shirts because it's "childish". Lmao.
You will never be young enough to them. You could be 3, 4, 5 years, 10 years younger, it's never enough. They're always on the lookout for the next teenage lover to replace you soon enough. And everyone ages... one day, you will grow up and change so much as you mature, and he won't like that.
He'll resent you for you trying to seek shelter in him from the brutality of the world, because that ruins the placid, soft, yet cold-blooded fantasy of the unfazed lolita who only cares about sex and nothing more. He'll resent you for wanting to have normal things in life; going out with friends your age, going out on road trips, hell, even going out on dates... are too much for him. He'll remind you who's boss but he is also a child in a full grown body. He'll hate you for possibly outgrowing him or outshining him, but would also dump you if you were to hit rock bottom in life.
He'll say that you're mature for your age, but that's because he's immature for his age and his peer group. Everyone else knows he's a creep and a loser who couldn't get the girl he wanted in high school, so he went with you to try to make up for all the lost years of his youth. And he'll hate you for being in that age group that used to make him feel so bad before... you will always be his enemy.