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If he is LVM he could be 100% into you. Hell, he could be ready to sacrifice his damn life for you.
And guess what?
You‘ll *still* get treated like shit.
I’ve seen a lot of posts pushing “he’s not that into you” around. Although it’s a good way to prevent ourselves from lukewarm people, we need to collectively understand it literally makes no difference whether an LVM loves you or not- either way, he’ll eventually treat you badly and will *never* care about your long-term happiness.
I like to think about it like this: imagine two men. One man is an LVM, the other is an HVM. Both are holding sealed boxes. Inside of the HVM’s box, he has the collective entity of all the good treatment a woman deserves.
To emphasize: The HVM’s capacity to treat a woman like a queen existed BEFORE he even met a woman and began developing attraction towards her.
Then we have the LVM’s box. There’s absolutely nothing in it. Not a goddamn thing. Actually I take that back, it’s actually a black hole, it’s less than nothing. But this man will have the audacity to say that if he’s “attracted to you enough” he’ll give you tHe WoRLd. “If she can ChAnGe Me, THEN I will treat her well.” In short, he makes the woman think that she can “create” her own good treatment by getting him to be more attracted to her.
The LVM scams you into putting in alllll the work for literally less than nothing, because you think that his attraction to you determines your treatment.
No. FUCK NO. The capacity to treat women well is a pre-existing condition. It is not something that is brought about, created, or changed in a man.
An HVM already knows how to treat a woman well, and just wants to focus that capacity on his preferred woman. He knows that his attraction to a specific woman doesn’t manifest or create the ability to respect women in general. It just gives him a little direction on who he wants to invest that gift into. If an HVM is not attracted to you, he simply won’t even entertain your feelings. Nor will he give you a sneak peak of this magic box of good treatment. He’ll respectfully decline interest.
Ladies, don’t be fooled by an LVM. Even if he goes AWOOGA for you, he’s still going to ruin your life.
If he’s into you, this is what will happen:
That LVM will LIE to you about who he is and give you the “HVM lite free trial” to convince you that his box is the same as the HVM, even though it’s not.
Then, because these LVM do not understand the point of continually investing in you to idk, make you happy (???), they will stop as SOON as they feel like they’ve caught you and converted you to mommybangmaidism.
From there, you will never see that “supposed HVM” you saw in the beginning, and your value will continually decline as he loses respect for you (even though you became the exact cool-girl he said he “wanted”). Why?
For LVM, the magic box of good treatment is a trap. They pretend to give good treatment to *deceive* you into thinking that they’re great in the beginning and that you need to chase them to receive the full subscription to HVM ™️. The good treatment he’ll give is temporary, and it’s a full-on scam to get you to give unpaid labor until you die (probably first, mind you).
For HVM, it’s a gift. They are naturally like that, they just want someone to give it to.
LEARN 👏 THE 👏 DIFFERENCE 👏
"The capacity to treat women well is a pre-existing condition. It is not something that is brought about, created, or changed in a man."
Can we get this engraved into a plaque, pretty please? Because this is some truth FIRE.
Yeah, the point of the book is not to fixate on his fEeLiNgS for you- solely behavior. If his behavior is bad, he's just not that into your. LVM might convince you he's SoOoO in LoVe with YoU dEeP DoWn but that book was written to help women discern that no matter what he says he "feels" about you, if his behavior is poor and flakey, he's just not that into you. I get where you're coming from but I could care less what man say, only how they behave.
The book “He’s Just Not That Into You” helps you avoid LVM. No LVM is going to pass the litmus test posed to you by that book. LVM will NEVER be into anyone enough to not be a LVM. I think others may be misunderstanding the phrase.
That book is a great primer on reading men's true intentions, especially if you were trained (as many of us were) to assume men are acting in good faith when they're really being cowardly scrotes and users. Women are socialized to make excuses for bad behavior and the book helps cut through the lies women tell themselves to justify a man's lack of regard and attention.
But that's where the value in it stops. The truth is that women should not worry about whether a man is into her or not, because if he really is, you'll never doubt it for a second. He won't let you doubt it, because he's terrified of losing you. He knows you're his dreamgirl and he knows you won't hesitate to drop him if he acts a fool. So focus on you, glow up and constantly self-improve, and the HVM will come running. The scrotes will naturally drop away when they see you aren't chasing after them or putting up with loser behavior.
What a great post!!!! You are absolutely right! I think for most women, if we see that this dude is a LVM on the onset, we would never have been attracted to them. The problem is these LVM KNOW they are LVM and therefore gives the HVM trial to impress the woman. When the woman is invested, she finds it hard to let go of her emotions and let go that she made the wrong judgement. Also, the whole “he is not that into you” and “you can’t play hard to get if he is not trying to get you”, almost always have this undertone that the man is on a higher plane than you. That you are trying to reach for someone who doesn’t want you. Fuck that. This makes women even more insecure about who they are and wonder if the problem is with her. If anything, I think the problem is women are not vetting these men enough. If we did vet, we would have sieved out the LVM long ago and wouldn’t even have this problem. And if the dude isn’t even trying to impress us, then we should throw him out into the thrash (figuratively) instead of worrying if he likes us or not
Absolutely. LVM don’t have the choice to be even into you because he has nothing to offer. He’ll not even stress about it and therefore he will try to fool women, whom they prey on, in the hope for access to your vulva because he has literally nothing to lose. Rationally a man cannot aspire for a functioning relationship if he looks at himself and around him and sees that he can't share it with a lady, since he doesn't have that option, it doesn't occur to him that he can do anything else but lie to women. Therefore you don’t have to feel negative because a LVM is ghosting you or not investing enough effort in the communication, because he never saw the option that he could offer a healthy relationship where he takes care of you, so the only option he has is to deceive you in what he wants to do, and he'll try that aslong as he sees you as an option no matter how you look like. Generally men are very aware of their status in society, if he knows he can not provide and protect you and has no valuable role to fulfil in life so he can be of service to the community, he’ll resent you for even liking him and treat you poorly eventually because that is how he feel about himself or very maybe but it’s a guess he avoids putting more effort because the status confrontation can be hard to him if he aspires to be eventually of fully value to women. In the end you should never take it personally because every man knows you are valuable so he doesn’t even bother which woman he is dealing with, his behaviour is based on what he has to offer. He has no choice to be into any flavour of women he only sees options he can prey on to deceive her for access to her vulva.
Ya I think the book is jsut wrong. if someone is around you but not treating you well they are insincere and a bad person. I don’t believe there are people who treat most people like disregard but are really sincere and invested with one unicorn person. Good humans people everyone in a respectful sincere manner and don't want to waste anyones time or hurt feelings. The most impressive man I ever met does not use any women, he doesn’t spend time with people he doesn’t genuinely like and wish the best for. Anyone who is leading a girl on for Selfish reasons is not a good person. It’s mean Full stop. I also agree that low value people will treat anyone like crap eventually because they really are overgrown toddlers. Feelings fluctuate. infatuation Doesn’t last but toddlers-in-mens-bodies feel the earth Revolves around their momentary feelings and that’s really what matters. Not honesty, respect, maturity, their precious feelings.
To add, we should just decide if his behaviour adds value to our lives and if it doesn’t, we should just leave instead of thinking about whether he’s into me, not into me, whether he’s gonna be a HVM 99 years later, whether he’s gonna treat his gf like a queen or not. It’s also possible that he’s not a LVM and women are just rationalising the pain of rejection by insisting he’s a LVM. But it doesn’t matter. Leave if you are not valued.
Completely agree with you, I think this saying can be applied in SOME cases. But most of the time, it is assuming that if he were attracted to you, his behavior that represent his CORE values, would change. But actually not, because his core values don't change according to the woman. If he does not respect women, he will not respect them regardless of the level of attraction. Also, it always puts the onus on the woman being the "object of attraction", when for LVM, their behavior reflect who they are more than who the woman is. We should focus on whether we are deserving or not of such behavior, and stop wondering about LVM inner lives. If their treatment does not serve us, we bounce.
I really wish for FDSer to rise above this stupid saying and stop equating it to everything, especially LVM behavior.
Great post!