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Ok so I'm not going to go into the greater context of this which I'm sure you pointed ladies would rip to shreds.
LOL.
Buuuutttt....
I thought I would share something kind of odd and funny with you.
I'm uh, interacting, with a boy/man (verdict is still out) who is overseas at the moment.
Anyway I think he has been (slowly) understanding that I expect a man in whom I am investing my time, to invest in me.
Long story short, he sent me a gift card, for a very specific item, at a sizable $ amount.
The gesture is great, its the thought that counts, yada, yada, yada.... but, ladies...
He knows I can't eat the thing. (It's for a very specific kind of cake that we had been talking about, something personal and meaningful, but I have gut issues and cannot eat one of the main ingredients! Like it makes me seriously ill!)
I don't know whether to laugh or thing is this person trying to make me ill, is he seriously so absent minded (putting it mildly)?
I feel like he has just thrown his dollars away, and I can't feel guilty about it because HE KNOWS (that I can't eat the main ingredient - no you can't pick it out).
😆
My first reaction is -- that's one of two things, both bad.
Possibility #1: He does not listen to a word you say. This level of inattentiveness is a red flag as far as I'm concerned. Maybe he even got you mixed up with someone else -- but probably just a crappy listener, as in -- he remembered that it was a special item to you, but forgot you absolutely can't eat it.
Possibility #2: He is a hostile misogynistic sociopath who is deliberately sending you the very thing you can't eat.
It’s manipulation. He is fusing something positive with something negative to generate internal conflict and confusion…cognitive dissonance is a psychological warfare tactic 👌
Either inattentive or someone that enjoys goading you. It’s so manipulative if so. Knowing that an outsider would instinctively support him because it’s framed as a gift but is not a gift at all. It’s a provocation. Btw my first thought was cheesecake🥲
Uhh why would he do that knowing you can’t eat the main ingredient? How is that a gift at all?
Also, he’s building a case for how “ungrateful” and “difficult to please” you are… 😆
So he’s either so fucking uninterested he doesn’t listen to the point he could make you sick or worst if you didn’t know OR he did it to “test” your allergy, hurt you intentionally, or because he just doesn’t give a shit at the cost of a (you mentioned sizeable) high amount to himself, so he’s an idiot too. Girl. Block and delete.
Im pretty sure that with allergies, a person interested in you would make mental notes of that so that they remember never to give it to you. Its really important to remember something like that. So if he gives it to you anyway…. Then he either wasn’t listening/forgot (which means he isn’t that into you) or is doing it on purpose (total narcissist/sociopath as others said). The only other option was he was willing to throw his money away and give it to you as a gift so you can enjoy…. I dunno…. Looking at it? But thats still sad for you and just a flex for him… so still a red flag lol I think he’s a narcissist. It’s like he has set this situation up so he can see how you react, either way (you stay or leave) he gets supply. If you stay, then it was fun to see you say thankful and act like it was a sweet thought from him. If you leave, then he can tell others how ungrateful you are when he got something you said was special to you (leaving out the part you were allergic). Forget this guy lol
This is so neg-gy. I would be furious. I think it’s one of two things: 1. He is trying to get a reaction 2. He’s not giving you the level of care and attention you should expect Neither one of these scenarios is great. I had an ex buy me slippers the wrong size and it was such a ‘wth’ moment as he’d bought me shoes before. I hope you sent his gift back!
Young me would have made allowances bc I was too nice for my own good. Older me teaches her daughter, ‘Fuck that’. If you’re absolutely sure he knows about your allergy, dead him.
I'm imagining some kind of fluffy cake from an Asian bakery, like a crepe cake or one of those fruit cloud cakes😋. I'm guessing that the bakery in question will want to make you happy (unlike this man child) even if they can't give you the specific item this boy intended. I say you should call/visit the place and see if they can make something you CAN eat, then keep the cake and throw out the man 😂😂
Remind him that you can’t eat that ingredient and then block and delete. He’s either trying to manipulate you or he just isn’t trying to be in a relationship and doesn’t understand that you need to actively try to not kill your partner if you want to stay in a relationship.
So I asked him straight out "why did you buy me an x cake when you know I can't eat x ?" he said he thought I might not be able to eat it, but he wasn't 100% sure. He said he wanted to get me something to make me feel special. He said for me to gift it to someone. He didn't have a bad attitude about it. I can tell it did come from a place of generosity at its heart.
How I feel about it: To be fair, there are a lot of foods that I can't eat, but we HAVE spoken about it many times by now... he should have known. I don't know either way whether it was malicious for sure, but at the very least it was CARELESS. which is not at the level.
It'd kind of all quite absurd. Your comments make me laugh even harder 😂 🤣
Are you sure he knows? Just because you told him does not mean he knows, probably did not pay attention.