Having a very very hard time not offering to split the bill on second dates

He wants to stick his penis into all of your orifices, and you're worried that you need to offer to pay for that? Come on, now. Let go of the brainwashing. The LEAST a man could do to get access to your body, mind, and heart is to buy you a f*cking meal. If he can't buy you a meal, how's he gonna treat you when you're pregnant? How's he gonna buy diapers for the baby?

You're evaluating him. Tell yourself if you offer to pay, you're preventing yourself from seeing his organic attitude.

General tip: if you feel really awkward, look at him intently and smile and say "thank you for xyz (the meal etc)". It fills silence and puts any further awkwardness on him - if he's LV and wants to split, he's forced to bring it up.

things to tell yourself: Let's see if he's generous. No cheapskates. I don't want a guy who won't pay for me to have a good time with him. My present is my presence. I don't want a broke scrote that can't afford dinner once a week. lol

go excuse yourself to wash your hands after the bill comes. don't reach for your purse when the bill comes.

If he’s gonna be cheap, he’s gonna be cheap with his feelings, emotions, affections, care, EVERYTHING.

how is that even a worthy, healthy partner?

I've just started telling men beforehand that I don't believe in going 50/50 on dates.

Yes that leaves me vulnerable to manipulators, narcs, and LVM who want to masquerade as HVM. However I trust my ability to identify red flags, to weed these men out sooner or later.

Most LVM will stop pursuing once they realize that they cannot get sex from you as cheaply as possible (preferably free for 50/50 scrotes).

If you pay half or even all of it, you will never now know if he actually likes you for you, or if he just went out with you to see if he could use you afterwards. It's the same thing whenever women insist on making the first move or sending that first message after exchanging numbers; they might get in a relationship with him, but because they never experienced the magic of having a man come after them first and fighting for her + being consistent with his effort, she will spend the entire relationship feeling incredibly insecure of her place in his life.

"If he's the one, not paying for a meal cannot ruin this".

It’s a test, possibly one of the most important first steps in vetting. Is this man cheap? Does he subscribe to abusive pickme libfem ideas about treating women he’s dating like they don’t deserve anything he wouldn’t offer a coworker or acquaintance? Let him take the test, Queen. Trying to pay is only giving him the opportunity to hide his real personality long enough to get his scrote hooks into you. It’s never too soon to get a LVM to tell on himself and this is one of the easiest ways to do that. Do not even think about offering to pay, not ever, unless you want to settle for a lifetime of feeling not good enough, just good enough for right now.

You've already paid in the time you have sat across from him, being a delightful dinner companion. You did your part. It's his job to pony up for the tab.

You won’t know if he wants to step up and play the provider if you don’t give him that opportunity. Maybe he wants to take care of you or maybe he doesn’t but if you keep offering to pay your own way, you have no way of finding out if he is letting you pay because of social norms or if he is refusing to step up because the social norms allow it.

Ask yourself: If this man was on a date with his dream girl (Angelina Jolie, Hallie Barrie etc.), would he even hesitate to pick up the tab (assuming he can even afford it LMAO). You have your answer.

I’m in the UK and this is a tough one. Men here DONT take the lead very often. I feel it’s become a cultural dynamic here. My tactics are to be quiet when it’s time to engage with the bill. Watch carefully for body language and eye contact. You’ll know straight away if he’s willing to pay. Being English we find this sooo uncomfortable to bare. If he stalls then assume he ain’t shit! This is a test for me. I know it’s wrong but if he lets me pay towards (which I’m willing to do) it’s a red flag and afterwards I won’t be seeing him again. But at least I know what he’s about. Judge me all you want but things are different here. All in all…it’s a test they either pass or fail.

I just don’t offer. And smile cheerfully in anticipation.

Wait so are y’all paying half on the first date?