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Men don't do a lot of things well but one thing they are very good at is living in the moment. A guy can meet you at a bar, flirt with you and even ask for your number, but never text you or progress his interaction with you because for him, flirting with you was just for fun; momentary, situational fun. A lot of men flirt with women to boost their egos, prove that they “still have it” or to impress their friends….all while having a girlfriend or wife at home. His flirting with you is meant to be a bit of fun for him and he has no intentions of having anything serious with you.
More women need to learn to live in the moment and take your interactions with men less seriously. If you flirt with a guy, have fun with it but don't be caught up by it. Too many women leave interactions with men feeling giddy and excited because of feeling that that there was a connection with a guy who literally used you for entertainment and went on his merry way. This is what leads to a woman meeting the same guy again, introducing herself to him and him having no clue who she is because, again, she was just a bit of fun to him and was nothing serious.
This is like the post I made on the girl who made a TikTok video about meeting a guy at a bar (click here to read the post). The little flirtation she had with the guy meant a lot to her; so much so that she held on to the fantasy of their "connection" for weeks. She connected with him on Instagram.....only for him to not have a clue who she was or remember the “connection” they shared. He only remembered who she was when she showed him her viral TikTok video of her talking about them meeting at a bar. Imagine being so excited about a guy and spending your time daydreaming about him, only for you to get the chance to meet him again and have him not remember you and not be as excited to be meeting you again. Embarrassing, right? Now, while people can forget others and even forget conversations, I believe it’s soul-crushing to be excited about a person who can’t even remember your name, who you are or the conversation they had with you.
I implore that women learn to just enjoy interactions with men but not take them seriously. Live in the moment and know that most times, your connection will not become anything serious. Being honest with yourself about this will allow you to remain detached, unemotional and not upset when nothing comes from your interaction with a guy because with how most men are, 99% of the time, your connection will not grow into anything serious. Only be serious about a man that shows consistent interest in you over time.
No lies detected.
Men don't even take dates or whole relationships seriously so it's ultimately embarassing whenever I see girls daydreaming about one single interaction they had with a guy. Even when the interaction was generic and predictable, they still dream about having a future with this man! I usually tell my friends to not take men seriously, to not fall for sweet words with no course of action, to not trust them easily and to NOT invest mental energy on them. If women were as detached as men, I bet things were different.
Had an experience like this recently. Guy I've talked to several times at a bar (who never once asked me my name) came up to me one evening and said, "hey, I'm going to X bar, so if you'd like to join me you're welcome". On the surface that's not such a bad request but as I said, the guy never even asked me my name despite several long interactions there, and he talked INCESSANTLY about himself and divulged a lot of family and personal stuff. To a complete stranger.
I just straight up left and went home and got comfy in my bed that night. LOL. Foolishness.
This would be nice if there were more men whose company I genuinely enjoy. But the majority just piss me off. And I've never understood flirting with someone I'm not into. I know some women do it for practice, but I feel like I'm already having to minimize interactions with scrotes because if I so much as smile at them they think I want to have sex with them. I do have a major problem with fantasizing when I do find a guy I like, though. I tend to create a whole relationship in my mind, which is so unhealthy. I think it's especially hard for me to not get invested when I find someone I like, because it's just so freaking rare.
I follow this dating coach who talks about having what's called a "dating funnel"
It's where you allow men compete for you, and you pick which ones you want to allow take you on dates.
It's been beneficial for me because it's allowed me to date from a place of abundance - as apposed from a place of scarcity. I feel like men date from a place of abundance because they are biologically wired to. Women are much more selective, so we have a slightly harder time doing so. But when we practice abundance, we can do exactly what you're talking about. Staying present with men, not taking anything too seriously until he moves the relationship into that phase.
THIS! In fact, go further and do not take seriously any relationship until vetting is so thorough that there is a ring & full commitment (obviously vetting continues but you got the idea)
I agree with this post so much! I went on a couple dates with a guy and then I realized he was LV. I cut off all contact with him. Fast forward months later, I see him at a party and he comes up to me and speaks. I look him dead in the eye and tell him that I have no idea who he is. He stood there in disbelief and attempted to remind me that we spent New Years together. I didn’t budge. He eventually got offended and said I was making him feel like he’s crazy and like our dates never happened. He raised his voice and then stormed off. I continued to gracefully sip my drink and carry on with the night. Men do it all the time so why not rip a page out of their book?
That TikToker is so cringe. Secondhand embarrassment. She should check out mahamaven (Fumi) - I share her content with my daughter all the time, Fumi is such a Queen.
I came to this conclusion over time on my own. Men just don't care, they are usually just window-shopping. If they want to, they will. So, I do not take anything they say seriously.