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Ok ladies,
this relates to a post I read by one of our mods rating to when a HMV will commit. Something interested me regarding the statement thaT HVM will be looking for the right woman in comparison to the L/NVM who will looking for the right TIME to commit and settle down. I asked my fiancé about the circumstances relating to him proposing to me (he has a job with his family bushiness which is very well known in my city and VERY successful but wants to launch his own business which is happening in the next month). I asked him if he felt pressured because a few of his friends has gotten married in the last year. And whether he was actually ready to look for a girlfriend when we got together.
his answer was ”no”. He DID NOT feel pressured because of his friend group at all. He was also not looking to have a girlfriend let alone a wife and be planning an expensive overseas wedding (the wedding of my dreams which he is handling alone because he is paying for it). He wanted to launch his OWN business. But our connection was too special to ignore he told me. he is still making good money working for the family full time and launching his own business in his free time. I hope this helps any of you ladies out there wondering if LVM ONLY settle down when it is convenient FOR THEM. He has also had long dry spells and few long term relationships.
So keep up those standards sistas!
I love this! And that's a good answer I'm happy for you ❤ hope you have an amazing wedding hotmamajamma
So happy for you ♥️
Reminds me of this scrote I talked to once, trying to convince me that men settle for their wife when the time is convenient for them and a woman happens to be around, now I'm like no sir, that's what YOU do but not what every man does. How else do you have stories where men have been loyal to their gf's / wives from college and say "She was there with me when I had nothing and now I give her my everything"
Thank you all so much! makes me happy to share here with like minded women. I have definitely had only narcissistic/abusive exs up until now. although I don’t think I was ever a pick me, this time around I incorporated FDS lessons and principles in order to get what I wanted this time around examples:
-stated I would date someone I liked from the start of us seeing each other if I liked them ie we were NOT exclusive until we both stated so
-told him he had until a certain date if he really wanted to get married or it would be a waste of my time (he beat this date by 6 months)
-was not remiss in him seeing all the things my ex provided for me (expensive gifts/financially supporting me completely even though he was a dick)
-it did not hurt for him to know my ex was still hanging around trying to get back with me (even though I would never go back there again)
-stated I would not move in with just a “boyfriend” ever again. only a fiancé with a defined date of marriage I actually used the statement “I am not going to audition to be your wife” lol THIS WORKS
-I also told him I will NEVER stop testing him ever. I said I need to be sure this is what my husband/the potential father of my children would behave to make me feel safe enough to trust him
- played it somewhat cool in the beginning (it was very hard I was battling codependancy learned from a narcissistic upbringing) never called or messaged him first nor asked when I was going to see him
even if I did not do these things I know he would have asked me to marry him but these did help in getting the amount of love/attention/commitment and investment that benefits me. lwt me state I did not play completely by FDS rules from the beginning because I was not indoctrinated in the culture at that stage. Even implementing some of the standards HELPED A LOT
I hope this helps all of my beautiful queens here xxxx
Love this ” HVM will be looking for the right woman in comparison to the L/NVM who will looking for the right TIME to commit and settle down” ❤️💜 This is the next “if he wanted to he would” type of proverb
Aww!! I love reading these. It warms my heart. This is so lovely! Thanks sis for posting this!! He is so lucky to have you and I’m glad you didn’t settle for a man that doesn’t give you that comfort and happiness that you ultimately deserve ❤️
Congratulations, Queen! You deserve it. 👑
Awww lovely post, thanks for sharing 💕
Lovely💕💕