Has anyone followed "The Rules" 100% and how did it work out for you?

As a curly haired brunette with hazel eyes... no wonder I cannot find a man! I had it wrong this whole time you girls!

I'ma go chemical up my hair and blind myself wearing coloured contacts. Who cares if I get scalp cancer... I will have a man. He'll take care of me during chemo... right? Right!?

I read the book a few weeks ago. And I agree that a lot of it sounds pretty outdated and seems to center male desire.

I mean I'm totally on board with the general message where the man has to show he's investing in you/pursuing you, that you should have good boundaries etc... But it basically prescribes changing your physical appearance (straightening your hair, the colored contacts, and later on there's a part about weightloss/working out) mainly to fit male desire. It also recommends that you majorly tone down your personality and limit the amount of words you say, as men prefer light conversation. And then it says you can finally show the full extent of your personality after marriage. Which just rubbed me off the wrong way.

Another thing that bothered me about it is the emphasis to always engage in dating, even right after a breakup, which sounds like a recipe for disaster. What's the point of dating if you're not in the right mindset for it, especially after a breakup where you should most likely be focusing on your mental health.

I read the Rules and liked it for the most part although I found some of the ideals to be archaic. I liked it bc the fundamental principles align with FDS: emotional and physical autonomy from men. Hawkish vetting processes and a sense of independence. It gives women specific steps on what to do and I think that’s very beneficial as a framework or principles are very useful but not enough. I’ve borrowed from it but ultimately use my judgement. I’m african/black so personally skipped all the bits about grooming etc. not only am I impeccably groomed and take pleasure in curating my beauty snd fashion aesthetics, I knew those tips would be inapplicable to me.

I've just finished reading the book and pretty much agree with all of what is said here - overall it's a bit of a mixed bag, and while it includes some sound FDS-aligned core principles, there is also a VERY generous helping of cringey patriarchy-pandering nonsense to wade through.

Aside from all the 'this is how to look pretty for your man' BS - don't get me fucking started on that! - it also set my teeth on edge more than once with its downright gaslighty tone in places (for example, claiming that by following the rules a woman can turn a player into a good guy - so if I get involved with community dick and inevitably get played it's because I just wasn't trying hard enough? Yeah, NO) but if you can get past all of this then it's definitely a case of 'take what resonates with you and leave the rest.'

I find “why men love bitches” a better read, it has the same good core advice about confidence but less of the misogynistic “be thin and white” nonsense

Be a creature unlike any other by following instructions to make yourself look like all the other women who follow the instructions - got it.

I think that sounds fucking ridiculous. which would then make me less likely to follow any of that advice. But I’m an idealist

i’m black so that would definitely not be for me at all lol

I read the book earlier this summer. It also says to have long hair. I was already growing out my pixie to try another style so I’ll report back (I have a ways to go, haha)