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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Men Telling You You'll Max Out At Thirty is Their BIGGEST Cope.
The reality?
We, as women, practice self-care in our appearance.
We take meticulous care of our skin, hair, and bodies. We are careful about what we eat and we exercise regularly. Most of us have had skincare routines since we were in middle school.
We have always managed to make time to take care of our appearance, even between our education, careers, and hobbies.
That being said, at thirty and beyond all that hard work pays off big time for us.
Males on the other hand?
The average thirty-year-old male already has a receding hair line. His face has begun to bloat from the excessive alcohol usage and poor diet.
A flat tire is already beginning to form around his mid-section. He has pre-mature wrinkles, sun damage, and uneven skin tone because he washes with Axe-3-In-1 Hair, Face, and Body Wash everyday and as never picked up a proper skincare product in his entire life.
Throw in the erectile dysfunction from excessive pornography consumption throughout his youth?
Voilà, there you have it folks.
The Male Wall.
Not only do men hit the wall, but they hit the wall hard and fast because they have done the absolute bare minimum to take care of themselves their entire lives.
The female "hitting-the-wall-at-thirty" propaganda, on the other hand, is an absolute myth. It's a lie they propagate to comfort themselves about being turned down by that twenty-something-year-old woman that is way too good for him.
"Someday she'll be thirty and no one will want her," he says to comfort himself.
We all know that's complete bullshit.
Men will pursue a woman at any age. We need only to look to the older women in our lives to confirm this.
The reason men who brigade this sub like regurgitate that false folklore is simple.
They are low-value males.
They feel threatened.
They are offended and angry that you have standards. (Especially standards they cannot meet.)
Males that propagate this myth want to grind you down. They want to make you afraid.
If you fear "maxing out" at thirty you're less likely to have high standards and present yourself as high-value woman. You'll be more anxious and insecure, and thus more likely to settle down (literally, settle) for a male that has nothing to offer.
Why? Because you fear approaching this mythical wall. Take a closer look at the context in which these men bring up this argument.
Example From a Previous Thread:
Woman discusses wanting men to pay for dinner.
Male gets offended and threatened.
Male tell her not to expect such treatment when she turns thirty.
Now let's dissect this interaction:
Women sets out an expectation/standard for men in her life.
Man reacts negatively because he is a low-value man who is threatened by a standard he cannot meet (monetary).
He attempts to make her insecure to lower her standards.
Keep in mind that the men who propagate this myth are low-value.
The type of men who brigade here (MGTOW, MensRights, Braincels) are low-value males.
They have little to offer women and thus prey on women with low self-worth. They pursue women who have low standards and little self-respect.
By implying that you will become worthless "post-wall", they are attempting to make you feel low-value. (If you feel low value, you're less likely to hold men to high standards.)
These men are both lazy and entitled. They feel they should be able to sack a woman without in any real effort or investment.
They don't want to have to prove they are worthy, likely because they are not.
Never abandon your standards, regardless of your age.
Now that we've broken down this myth, remember never to abandon your standards.
By internalizing this propaganda you will only put yourself at a disadvantage.
The moment you stop loving and respecting yourself (by seeing yourself as approaching or past the mythical wall), you become insecure, needy, and seek male validation. You don't want that!
You must always remember your worth. The wall does not exist. You are a high value woman who has a career, education, friends, hobbies, and you take care of your body.
Your value is not tied to a number. You are allowed to have standards always.
Real men respect and want women with standards, boundaries, and self-respect.
The handbook posts project.
I always loved this post.
So many guys really do stop caring, if they ever did.
Such a great post! And so true! I just turned 30 this year and was brainwashed with this “hitting the wall”. But with my recent experiences and other women’s too it’s def not the case. Literally today I was at a festival and I had this guy come up to me and start talking. He was cute and I was thinking ‘probs he might be senior in college like 22. He was flirting and asking me questions about me and about this city and that he just moved here to start college and that he celebrated his 19th birthday this weekend 😂 . It was so cute because he was so proud saying “hes 19 now”. This is where I said- “oh my younger brother finished college there” And then he looks confused being like “you’re younger brothers done college. How old is he?” And I said - “24”. He asks the age gap- “I said 6 years”. Ladies he looked so dumbfounded and surprised and then said “wow you’re 30!! that’s awesome I thought you were starting college too. I was hoping to take you out to try (name of new restaurant that opened up in our city). Can I take you out? And I said- “No but good luck with (said college name) it’s great school” He proceeded to compliment me and then I thanked him and left. All in all ladies literally the wall does not exist for us and it’s all men projecting their insecurities.
Observe other couples in a restaurant the next time you’re dining out. Then ask that man to point out which ones hit the wall. Ha! Stfu, scrote. Women are beautiful and well dressed at any age! Their men? Not so much.
I have a baby face, it wasn't till I was 35 it finally thinned so you could see enough of my bone structure to have a nice woman's face instead of looking like I was 12 (I have a whole library of creepy stories about the kind of men attracted to pre pubescent looking women). In my 30s I was making more money than I ever had in a beauty, male and youth driven industry where you're supposedly washed up at 25 so this "wall" thing is nothing new to me, the only time anyone questioned it was when they found out how old I actually was. The girls there were worried about aging out of the job and would ask me for anti aging tips, I told them just shave a few years off when people ask, make a guess about what they want to hear and tell them that, the best anti aging trick is a big fat lie because these days you can't really tell and no matter how much you try to talk sense into people they have hangups they just can't get over. I quit the job at 40 and was booked and making great money up till that day and I can count on one hand the number of times I was sledged for my age (which oddly was less often than when I was younger). Goes to show men are easily fooled and don't know what they're talking about, it amazes me men who constantly cry they don't know what women want are quick to tell us anything at all about ourselves like they suddenly know us better than we know ourselves.
I'm in my 50s now, what changes is the men get more feral and more aggressive and less hot, I date younger guys, even just a couple of years younger they step it up because they perceive older women as requiring a more sophisticated approach. Partly this is the reason the lazy boy thing is such bullshit, men love an opportunity to shine.
First "the wall" suddenly shifted from 25, to 30, 35,40,45, as it became obvious to them they were still losers and I was still getting asked out. Now I have women trying to tell me I'm in menopause even though I don't have symptoms and it's still business as usual, it's actually the women who are trying to knock me out of the dating pool mostly I'm guessing because they're married or meeting shitty guys who ask if they're "the right side of wet" so they try to put than on other women. I've never experienced as much jealousy as I have in my 40s, for some reason 40 is the magic age all the boys are suddenly in your yard. The guys are still up to their old tricks but now I'm also getting it from younger guys and much older guys as well who now think it's not creepy to ask so I'm now dealing with what I did in my 30s X 3. I literally don't even need to go out for there to be guys hovering, I was even getting getting hit on during covid lockdown. As long as you look after yourself and don't limit yourself you could probably keep dating till the day you die if you're a woman.
I'm 47 - I work out for two hours every morning at the gym. I take excellent care of my skin (I research and obtain the most effective products). I consistently am asked out by men decades younger than me, many of which are very accomplished. I still turn heads when I walk in a room - even when its filled with women half my age. If you take care of yourself, dress with some style - you can be sexy at ANY age, ladies. My mother is in her 80s, she was a ballet dancer so fitness is important to her - we go to the gym together, I have to chase men away from her at least twice a month. Don't EVER believe these insecure scrotes - there is NO wall, you can pull in dudes at 80 if you keep yourself up. I have found the older I get, the more economically and emotionally secure I get - so I don't put up with shenanigans like I used to, its better being an older woman than a younger one BECAUSE I know I will save myself out of any situation.
I had a few years of stress with late second husband due to caregiving BUT we were super close and he loved me to infinity so it was stressful but not overly so. I was way more stressed at work dealing with three narcs, one my principal, and moving goalposts, total lack of support and being undermined. But I survived and Jack was a big part of that as my rock and safe place. I’m 54 and don’t look it. Life is good when you are stable and secure! And ladies, I am about to touch down in Spain and go walk the Camino!