Handbook Posts: Mate selection is among the most important decisions you will ever make

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.

Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.

"FDS is so JUDGEMENTAL" Yes, and we are proud of it! Mate selection is among the most important decisions you will ever make, it is a crucial time to be choosy!

One of the most common criticisms I see about FDS is that we are "judgmental"

So what?

Exercising judgement when choosing a lifelong partner is a GOOD THING.

This is the person who could become the father of your children.

(Edit: just want to add that it is practically child abuse to choose to reproduce with a man if you know he is N/LVM. Best case scenario, your children end up psychologically traumatized from their deadbeat, lazy, or emotionally unavailable parent. Worst case scenario, your children get sexually or physically abused. DO NOT have children with abusive, sexually depraved, or low effort men! Don't even have sex with them until they have proven themselves, because guess what, sex causes pregnancy! Yes, even with condoms and/or birth control it is still a risk.)

Even for childfree women, this is someone with whom you plan on sharing years of your life. Whether or not you plan to have children, it is important to choose well.

Just imagine if you were expected to surrender all judgement and "be more open minded" when making any other important life decision.

For example, imagine you are thinking of buying a home. You go to a viewing, and the house has broken windows, the carpets smell like cat piss, and there is no heat because the furnace needs to be replaced. You tell the sellers, "sorry, not interested, I want a house that is move-in ready, not a project"

They sigh, exasperated: "wow, unbelievable. You are so JUDGEMENTAL! You can always replace the windows, carpets, and furnace. Just look at this house! It has a foundation, walls, and a roof! You are so focused on it's flaws, you're not able to see the good qualities underneath!"

Dear men: we are not in the business of flipping houses.

It doesn't matter to us if you think you're a "nice guy" with great qualities deep down. If we look at you and see a man with bad hygiene, terrible social skills, selfish, minimum wage job, live with your parents/roommates, or even just being plain short and ugly, TOO BAD.

If we don't like what we see, no matter how "superficial" you might think it is, it's not our job to "fix" you. Moreover, if your flaws are unfixable, we are not obligated to tolerate a substandard living condition.

We have plenty of better options out there. Why should we choose the one that is broken down and needs a ton of repairs, when we can choose the gorgeous, clean, well-constructed one right across the street?

If a house has been on the market for months or years with no offers, it's up to the sellers to fix it up and make changes so that it is more attractive to potential buyers.

In the dating world, it's a buyers market. Women get to choose. And yes, that involves exercising judgement.

Don't like it? Can't compete? Then stay single. Please ACTUALLY go your own way. Leave us alone.

We'll be over here, with the men you call "simps", in happy and loving relationships 💕👰🤵💕

Edit 2: This is getting a lot of reports for "promoting hate based on identity". Lmao, I honestly cannot imagine being that mentally fragile. It is not a violent hate crime to refuse to have sex with someone.

The handbook posts project.