Guy who asks for Insta rather than your number?

I’ve had guys do this before & I don’t like it. I guess it felt like a low effort & inauthentic way to get to know me. If we’re texting or calling, it’s a one on one conversation and he needs to put effort into the conversation too. If a guy asks for my Instagram, it’s essentially a one sided view into my life, so then I start to feel like I’m almost performing for him? Male gaze or something? Maybe that’s just my overthinking but I didn’t like it at all.

Fuck that. If a guy wants access to that kind of information about me....he can pay to take me out on a date.

He's looking for fap material. A lot of men have said they prefer fapping to women they actually know in real life- I guess it makes it seem more realistic or something. He's also probably looking for the easiest way to get in your pants. Men use insta and other socials to validate us and make us feel seen/ adored.

Remember, their attention almost always means nothing.

It gives me the ick when men ask me for Instagram or snap. I don't use either of them, and it's a turn off to me when men do. 99% of the time, these men are following mostly women (who they also 'met' from OLD) so they're just trying to add you to their harem. Tell them you're not interested in digital connections or a pen pal and would prefer to get to know each other in person. If he doesn't promptly ask you out on a date, you have your answer.

I would avoid this because we really need to be giving men less access to our lives, not more, until we know they are HV. Unless you're in a relationship with a man, do you really want him to have IG level access to your life? Why did he ask for your Insta? Did he follow it up with, 'I'll contact you through Insta because I'd really love to see you again?' Or was it vague...? If it was the latter, you are a collectable: walk away.

Would be a sign of too much social media usage for me personally. I know that in modern times everyone has an IG/TikTok and everyone follows each other and all that, but it's just not for me.

I'd just say I didn't have insta. If he ain't got the balls to ask for your number, he ain't the one babe.

I'm in my 30s, and I don't like this at all.

If he really wanted to get together with you, he would have asked for your phone number. Asking for a phone number is bare minimum, and I don't care how young he is.

If I were you, I'd move on. You deserve a man who isn't afraid to ask for your number and ask you out to dinner. (Also, I bet even if this man-child asks you out over Instagram, it won't be for dinner or a real date.)

For me it's a NAH lol!

I feel that social media can easily create a false sense of intimacy. When I was younger, I used to think that it meant something when a guy liked, commented, or viewed my story. However, now that I am older, I realize that making someone feel special online is as easy as 1 -2 -3. It requires zero effort.

I don't want random men lurking on my social media. I only allow family on there, it's set to private for a reason.

I'm also aware a lot of red pillers use this tactic. Usually hoping to learn more about a women so he can present themselves in ways to get her into bed more quickly or because he's a porn sick scroute hoping to find beach pictures he can masturbate to.

I've used secondary accounts before but they immediately question me about my "0 follower count" and ask for my ReAl IG. This proves that they're not actually wanting to use it to talk but they're instead trying to weasel their way into my personal information and lurk. Dude I hardly even know you, chill.

I am in the minority with this opinion, but I prefer giving out social media over my number. In fact, I NEVER give out my real number because of how many times I've had to change my number due to psychos in the past. If I do give out a number, it is always burner number, either Google voice, TextNow or textfree apps. Giving out your real number is dangerous. They can Google your real number and dox you that way. They can also find all of your social media from your number because almost all app require a number to associate with your account. Also, I've found that males who refuse to give out their social medias are generally hiding a wife and kids. They don't want you to know anything personal about them so they'll lie and say they don't have any social media. It feels safer for me to give out my snap or IG because I can look into their lives without getting too close. But I also have a second IG and snap that I'll give out so they can't see who my IRL friends and family are. And yes I do understand that most women on FDS, say the opposite. That they feel asking for social media is LVM. But idk. There's are pros and cons to both situations.

i don't have an IG account because social media was becoming a major time-suck. i've been considering adding one again, i kind of miss photography as a hobby, but why would i want to FB to own my images for free? get bent, Zuck.

I think this is weird! I guess there's benefits because they won't have your number.

I usually think they just want to see what kind of photos you post and learn things about your life.

On online dating I'd have guys ask for insta/snap instead of my number and I think they just want to see more photos of you and stuff.

I'm in my early 30s now so I think it's more common with younger people.

It depends on the generation you're in.

just want to follow a lot of girls and DM you when he's horny