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Went on six dates with a guy. We met on coffee meets bagel. Said he was looking for a serious relationship. Showed me his friends and family and was talking about his future with me and introducing me to them. Acted like a complete gentlemen opening doors, taking me to high quality dates, not letting me pay. He called me every day for a month. Even tried taking me to a football game last minute. Like how does this guy have time for this shit and a girlfriend?? I told him I was in residency and looking for something serious and I don't have a lot of time to waste. Ugh he made me feel so safe and was such a gentleman and the only reason I found out is because my mom is a literal detective and found his hidden Facebook. I don't think I can ever trust guys again after this what the hell like how do these guys have this much time.
Red flags I ignored:
He was way way way way way too good of a kisser. And way too into kissing. Like all he wanted to do was make out for hours. He would even try to kiss me in the elevator it was weird.
He tried only calling me at night 1st but then I told him I am in residency and need him to call me earlier and he did call me earlier and I let it slide
He told me he doesn't have social media
He kept inviting himself to my apartment. He didn't push for sex tho but he was good at escalating
And scrotes have the audacity to come up with the misogynistic phrase: "These hoes ain't loyal" When in reality men are the biggest unloyal whores!
Just another projection by the deficient Y chromosome.
He love bombed you. He probably sensed he could woo you by going through all of the romance motions on high speed and sadly enough, it worked. I know it's hard to not feel flattered by this kind of behavior, but escalating that quickly is always a bad sign. Men who do this always have something to hide (abusiveness, pre-existing relationship, addiction, ...) and they're hoping to hook you quickly because they know the truth will come out sooner than later. The idea is that you'll be so emotionally invested that you don't want to leave.
This hurt to read, because I had the almost exact same thing with a guy last year. He even told me he loved me and wanted a future with me, children, met my family, the whole package!! And he had almost the same red flags as well! Way too good kisser, WAY TOO GOOD IN BED for being "SiNgLe for yEaRs", also NEVER calling me, only texting excessively all day long, also apparently had no social media, which was also a lie and after finding it there was his girlfriend of 4 years which whom he was living together..... which explained why he would always visit me but I could never visit him..... So yeah, learned our lesson here. Don't ignore red flags.
Wow, what a bullet dodged!
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how (and WHEN) they even do it. They always say women are the better multitaskers but I'm already at full capacity trying to juggle a full-time job, commute, chores and errands, working out, hobbies, pets, friends and family and maybe ONE significant other. How the hell do they fit in a second (third, fourth...) person to meet, communicate with, entertain... how? Especially without the first SO noticing anything? Do they not have jobs? Do they only need 2 hours of sleep? Are their days longer than 24 hours? Can they be in two places at once? How?
The no social media 🚩
Trashhhhh. Sorry that happened sis. Your mom sounds awesome.
A man escalating IS pushing for sex. I've recently dated a guy who was good at escalating and in hindsight I see that it WAS just pushing for sex. Like the burden shouldn't be on you to say no- a man who puts you in a position to say no to enforce your boundaries isn't a man who cares about your comfort or your boundaries. The escalation is a test of where your boundaries are and how far he can go before you enforce them. You didn't miss much w this guy. It's disappointing but if he's that pushy w you AND cheatin, I don't envy his gf
Your mom’s detective skills in finding his hidden FB!!! 👑 💜 Yes!!! This is why I always stay telling on cheaters & sending women the proof - because most women do not have the ability to find out this quickly.
Old is meant for men made by men . We women are the products. Do men ever come off old after meeting the one . Never!!!!!
Gheeeez, well at least you found out sooner than later! Kudos to your mom!
this man is clearly a psychopath with zero conscience. To do that when you have a gf requires ZERO conscience. For the people wondering why his gf hasn’t noticed and assuming she’s a ‘cool‘ girl. No. People without consciences are way harder to catch because they are so comfortable lying and lack a true identity. People need proof of cheating and cheaters always gaslight hard which is emotional abuse. We shouldn’t blame women when they are victimized come on FDS.
why is being way too good of a kisser a red flag? i think i'd love that haha guys usually want sex sex sex and almost no kissing.
his girlfriend is probably a placeholder. or maybe he knows how to lead HVW on (who knows, FDS used to be on reddit and this website has public posts too). another possibility is he might be poly but hides it from the women he is interested in because he knows they'll reject him. it has happened to me. the guy was single, but he was poly. he deliberatedly hid this information fom me in order to have sex with me. to me, he's a fucken rapist because my consent was based on manipulation, and therefore it wasn't valid. i still fantasize about his murder...
some men know how to please women and they use such ability in their favour. if i need to be always suspicious of all men, than i'd rather not be with one.
Statistically, I've heard ranges as high as 42% to around 30% of people on dating apps already having partners. I'm sorry that happened to you, but good thing your mom felt something wasn't right and investigated things further.
This happened to me too, although I met him in real life. He was confident and charming, came right up to me and introduced himself in a totally non-creepy way, took me out to cool events, flattered the hell out of me, was the best looking guy I've ever been with actually ( a signed model) so it really hurt to find out the truth. But I should have known when he also said he had no social media, and didnt text me on NYE from his hometown that he flew out to for the holidays. His excuse was his phone died, lmao. Can't remeber how I eventually found his facebook profile with all the pictures of her, but I sent her a message about it all. They stayed together to this day though, with several kids after the fact lol. Crazy. There's no way to really know unless you actively distrust all males at all times. Charge it to the game I guess.