Going 50/50 Is NOT How You Achieve Equality And Security In A Relationship.

Treating men and women in the same way and expecting them to have the same rights and duties is only fair when our societies, laws and justice systems view and treat the sexes equally, and when society raises both sexes to respect each other. However if one sex is more vulnerable than the other, and we ask the former to perform the same duties that the latter (the most powerful and privileged sex) performs, then we did nothing except that we made it easy for the privileged sex to fulfill their duties towards the less pivileged sex with little in return.

Women are way more vulnerable socially, legally, poltically and economically.

That is why societies aspiring for progress and feminist efforts focus on building shelters for abused women more than abused men, and international organizations, when sex intervenes in their human rights activities, focus more on women than men, and that's why there are countries and organizations that dedicate effort to women seeking asylum just because they are women but the same is not available for men, that is why female quotas exist.. and so on.

This is not a privilege or an entitlement, this is a compensation for a weakness or loss.

So even if your man is of HV, this won't compensate for the wage gap, the absence of paid maternity leave and presence of laws discriminating and justice systems working against women in a lot of countries which makes it unfair, exhausting and even dangerous to go 50/50 in everything, especially financially. A HVM must understand this and be more than ready to find how he can give up his male privilege legally and financially, and work on questioning everything he knows about feminism and women.

Equality in a patriarchal society means compensating for losses that occurred against you or risks that you will incur because you are females, while males give up their privileges.. It DOES NOT mean treating the two sexes by the same standard and do 50/50, no.

For example, if you pay half of the house's bills and expenses or go Dutch in dates, this does not mean that the wage gap will be eliminated, or that you won't do more work at home while he has more leisure time because hE's A mAn aNd hE iS nOt hArDwIrEd tO coOk anD cLeAn (that's a red flag anyway) or that you will avoid opportunists, exploiters and scrotes who do not put any effort in the date or in their appearance for the date.

Or that if you share with him all of your assets, properties and profits, this does not mean you are not more vulnerable than him to domestic and financial abuse and discrimination.

Him putting your name on his properties is not the same as you putting his name on your properties. The risk of doing that falls much more on you.

What will achieve real equality is not that we turn a blind eye to the difference in circumstances and the balance of power between men and women tell them to do the same shit so society sees us as one and treats us equally.. Real equality is working to compensate women for the losses they incur due to the privileges of men, and in addition to that we must work to end these privileges. That's when we may treat men and women alike.

Even in light of complete equality, we, as women, have more expensive biological jobs (pregnancy - childbirth - breastfeeding). The man with you must compensate for this responsibility he can't carry and prove himself worth enduring all of that, at least until you are able to share the responsibility of education and care of children equally.