.png)
This happens to me a lot with these friendships I have where we will hit it off in the beginning and get along great. As time goes on though, she'll start criticizing me for the smallest things. This most recent friendship, she keeps making all these assumptions about me, she criticizes certain lifestyle choices I have, she acts like I can't do anything on my own, blames me for lack of communication even though she could easily just reach out to me for whatever she needs (she doesn't), she'll rush off to do things before me without telling me then subtly put me down for being "slow." I like her a lot, but these things have really been getting under my skin. I enjoy her company otherwise, but I have been getting irritated with some of this behaviour so I pushed back; but she keeps doing it.
She has some deep insecurities she's told me about (which I empathize with) but I have always qualified her really positive characteristics: she's outgoing and easily charms everyone she meets (qualities I wish I had) and she has business smarts. She keeps suspecting that I'm not being honest about her "flaws", even though I don't see the point in criticizing her flaws even if she was right about them? I am positive about her but she constsntly criticises me and it honestly makes me upset.
I posted this to the pickme subsection mainly because I don't believe constant criticism is HVW behavior. I just don't see why you would do this unless you were jealous or resentful of another woman. In general, I'm just neutral about everyone and don't think about criticizing anybody that much unless that was the case
You are not being critical for not wanting to be bullied. Don’t conflate clear communication and boundary assertion as “criticism”. Expressing that you will not tolerate micro-aggressions means you have a backbone. Sounds like a one-sided friendship. She enjoys the praise and kindness while draining and bullying you. You have two choices. You either call her bullshit out straight up, or just exit the “friendship”. I personally would go with the latter, as no decent person needs to be told to stop putting their supposed friend down. I have no space for fuckwits in my life.
Whew yes, I've dealt with this from my most recent female acquaintance (key word). You stop taking it to heart when you realize it's them projecting their insecurities onto you. Regardless, you don't have to tolerate it either. Eventually I had to "nicely" put that acquaintance in her place by reminding her that she needed my help, not the other way around. Changed that tune real quick & haven't heard from her since. I don't think she's a bad person either but that's not the type of energy I want to be around nor invest in.
So with your 'friend', think of it that way as well. Do you really want to cultivate a friendship with a person you "like" but feel drained & upset after every interaction with? I'm sure we both know the answer to that.
Wow, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Superficial charm, then let’s the mask down? Possible psychopathic behaviour. Cut her off. This is a deeply damaged person who enjoys inflicting pain on others. She wants you to criticise her so that she has ammunition against you for when she complains about you to others. Trust your instinct - you don’t trust her and you’re right not to.
Looks like the sign of a really insecure person. I've come across a couple of women like this and they project their problems on other people. They're usually extremely toxic and deflating to be around. I'm sorry you're having to deal with her. I would cut her off and make a list of the red flags she had that you might have overlooked in the past. Are there any that other women like this also shared? Try to avoid friendships with women with these red flags in the future. If you know what to look for, you're more likely to make friends with HVW instead.
Are you me lol!?
That is the #1 reason why I do the slow fade on some of my friends lmfao. Seriously with friends like that who needs enemies? I'd rather be w/ company that I look forward to hanging out with.
In friendships like that their insecurity always wins. Everything becomes a problem.
I do not have time for that. They need to get therapy and stop projecting onto regular degular people.
Edit.
Onetime I went to a concert w/ a friend & she wanted to buy the most expensive ticket ($320). I flat out told her nooooo the most I'm paying for a ticket is $115.
What I didn't realize then....was that she was trying to prove to me that she could afford it lol. Like girl I DON'T CARE live ur life lol.
While we were in line...the concert promoters asked us If we wanted to go backstage and that it'll cost us $45 each. In the past I've gotten into private lounges for free I know women don't have to pay for shit lol.
I told my friend, "It's a scam. Don't fall for it. Women never have to pay for these things ." This girl trying to prove something pulls out her wallet and pays for the both of us 🥴. We go back there and it exactly what I thought it would be....99 cent store cookies and Shasta drinks 💀🤣🤣🤣!
My home girl thought it was bougie and had the nerve to tell me, "If you're poor just say that. Unlike you I have 2 jobs....I can afford these type of events....you should thank your lucky stars that I got you in here in the first place."
Let's just say I roasted her ass so hard. I was so mad we never hung out again lmao.
You might be able to withstand the shitty comments, but why would you want to? There's no point in criticizing her because it will fall on deaf ears. Slow fade her and continue levelling up
This sounds awful. Even if a person has “redeeming qualities” it hardly seems worth putting up with someone who resents you and feels the need to act out towards you over their own insecurities. My experience is people like that only escalate over time
She sounds exhausting. Cut her loose.
Be careful because that's how it starts. The little jabs here and there soon becomes a huge emotional platonic break up of the decade that you shouldn't have to go through. Put distance and do a slow fade until you ghost her completely.
If she is constantly criticizing you and it's not constructive, then she's not a friend.
It’s really awful to be constantly criticized like this by someone we consider a friend, who should be someone that supports us and accepts us and if they ever give you a criticism is not rude or mean in any way. I’m dealing with something similar now as well, and the best thing to do is first, don’t blame yourself for what’s is happening because she does seems like a very insecure and mean person and possible has a lot of issues, so all this says more about her than anything that may be wrong with you, and second when dealing with people like that sometimes the best thing to do is to distance yourself from them or at least start putting boundaries about how much you are willing to engage in this relationship.
Like some said, I think your female friend is jealous of you and projecting her insecurities onto you. I won't tell you to cut her off because I'm sure you know better than us if you should or not. I hope you'll do what's best for you.
Honestly don’t even waste your time with somebody like that.