FDS Wisdom Re: Marriage and LTRs with Men, aka why those birthrates are falling

The panic about "birrrthraaateesss!!1!!" is coming from a couple different places, depending on who's talking:

1) Uber wealthy people concerned about a shrinking labor force--when there's fewer workers, this naturally tips the balance of power and employers have to pay more/give more perks/be nicer to keep them, as opposed to hundreds/thousands of people scrabbling for a dozen job openings with very low pay. Also, the fact that they might have to take out their own trash??? Watch their own children??? Mow their own 200 yard lawn???😱

2) Racist, Christofascist xenophobes in the U.S. and Western Europe that think brown people are scary and white people are being intentionally "replaced" and they want white women specifically to pop more out. I mean, they're not completely wrong about white population decreasing...but like...so what?

3) People recognizing that this trend means lots of women are delaying or opting out of traditional heterosexual relationships and marriages, and trying to force/coerce/guilt women back into those subservient baby factory positions either because it serves their own self-interest (men) or misery loves company (women)

4) Politicians who don't want to address the fact that their policies have made the world extremely expensive and hostile to families and women, and so they instead choose to throw women under the bus for being sElFiSH and hating babies, and force them to have more babies (i.e. overturning Roe v. Wade). This one, depending on the politician, will also have strong tie-ins with #1 and #2.

I hope that clears it up a bit, and for anyone else reading, let me know if you think I missed anything!

This exactly. The fear is exacerbated especially bc west African countries have the youngest and fastest growing populations. This fear is driving the anti abortion movement.

Elon Musk is not smart lol

I agree. As a child-free woman in the 21st , the traditional marriage structure is irrelevant (obsolete?). I prefer to be my own independant person, and then to fit a HVM into my life rather than to fit my life around him.

I agree with this stance as well. I don't think anyone in this thread is denying a man spoiling us and providing in other ways. I'm seeing someone now who happily spends on me & helps me when I need without hesitation. I never think about the "catch" behind his motives or feel I have to go 50/50 to relieve his burden. He checks off the boxes of a provider. My personal view of independence is simply having my own place and being [financially] in control of it. Nobody put me there but me. I'm not expecting him to pay all my household bills but if he offers money towards anything then I won't reject that. It's a win win.

As someone who watched their mother be financially abused by her second husband to the point where we almost lost our house (separate households), I understand 100% the trauma & hesitation of depending on a man when it comes to your livelihood. Regardless, that experience hasn't stop me from being spoiled and provided for in other realms. Just let me have my own place and he has his.

I agree. A user on the subreddit once wrote that “quality men are aching for a challenge”. That really stuck with me because they are! I think that being with me enhances my fiancés life so much. He is motivated now to succeed and achieve the best life for BOTH of us.