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Hello Queens! It's summertime so I think this is a convenient time to remind myself and everyone else about this important FDS principle (Chapter 21, page 64 in the handbook):
HAVING A CRUSH IS USELESS AND IT HAS ZERO BENEFITS.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I first read this header in the handbook. What do you mean that you can't have crushes?? It's just human! This is insane and cruel! I can't deep freeze my emotions like that! What am I supposed to be, a heartless robot?! Surely this can't apply to me, right? I can have crushes! What's the harm? It's just little innocent fun, a pep in your step, something bubbly to cheer you up!
Here's the deal: if you are like me and feel emotions very intensely (hello ADHD!), you can't have little innocent crushes. You just can't, it's not possible. Those "little crushes" morph into a full blown, all consuming limerent obsessions that hijack your whole life. You give that bubbly little feeling a finger and whoops, there goes your whole arm. And when you are consumed by this intense entity of a feeling, you can't vet. You ignore red flags and your own gut feelings, you make excuses for him and find yourself explaining his bad behaviour for the better. You can't observe the man objectively when you're crushing hard. Delulu is not the solulu.
So, what can you do about this? How to nip it in the bud? After going through TWO of those intense crushes in six months time I realized that whenever I notice myself getting interested in someone, I need to immediately do the following things: 1) Start reading the handbook and He's Just Not That Into You again (love that book btw, you can download the pdf for free!) to get a reality check 2) Stop daydreaming about the guy, or even better: not even start it. Because that's what got me into this rotten mess in the first place.
It took me 36 freaking years to realize that men are NOT some magical unicorns with glittering stardust, they are just human like the rest of us. Guard your heart and stay QUEEN!
I'm currently fighting a crush into it first stage. I believe I'm just so bored at the office that I fixated into the less ugly colleague. He is the only one that isn't bald yet.