FDS Translates Men (OLD edition)

“Mandatory for me, optional for you” is the motto of most men.

Poly/ENM - I’m community dick and you can’t say anything about it or have your own side piece. My dick is magic 🪄

Don't forget "thinks old fashioned values while dating are silly" ----> I will never pay for our dates.

"since/if it matters" = whatever I mentioned before this is my only redeeming quality and I expect it to override all your other concerns

"easygoing" or 'laidback" = I will expend absolutely zero effort and refuse to meet even your lowest expectations

"must have your own car/place" = I am married or have a live-in girlfriend who doesn't know I'm trying to cheat

"I love _(insert activity_" or "GO _(insert random sports team)_" = This takes ALL my free time. I will use it to avoid any and everything you ask me to do

any mention of a "modern woman" = I expect you to be fine with me having multiple side chicks and you must pay for things EVERYTIME I ask or you're a gold-digger

“equals” means “looks equal on paper, but really I’m just gonna whine about having to pay half the rent“

I really, really hate the Variations of “skinny” like “takes care of herself” or “healthy” because why can’t they just say skinny?

I’ll be really honest here-I’ve smoked a pack a day for 20 years and have remained mostly slender for that time and most of their opening lines are like “wow you really look like you take care of yourself“ and then they are somehow not deterred when I tell them about the smoking habit a lot of the time. Yes I’m super addicted to it and I do still work out but I’m not a model of health. And I’m upfront about my unhealthy habit.

Most of my relationships started with them saying they don’t mind the smoking, then they suddenly bitch about it 3 months in. I really think the reason they say they don’t mind is for the hope of getting a free lay from someone who is not fat. there are very few men who don’t mind my smoking habit for the longer term, but I still haven’t been able to kick the habit for good. Just shows how much hypocrites they are.

New to FDS--is OLD an acronym?