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This is an interesting phenomenon I notice in certain LVM. They do disgusting things and seem to enjoy your grimace. This can be really subtle too. That's why if you feel the ick because of any seemingly "small" behavior or action, it is important that you step away. First of all, honor your feelings and standards. But Secondly- it may actually have been done on purpose to MAKE you feel disgusted. Here are some examples of what I mean:
Extreme case- flashing private parts
Going to the bathroom with the door open
Picking nose and putting fingers in the mouth WHEN you are around and can see (husbands do this in front of their wives. They make an excuse that in intimate relationships, one should be "free" - but it is actually a sign of disrespect)
Bad bathroom manners-leaving toilet seat up, not flushing
Non physical actions- this is an insidious one- Suggesting to act in a self demeaning way when they know you are disgusted by it. So, I know this lady who hates having to depend on her neighbors or ask any favors from them. This is because the neighbors have been explicitly rude in the past and humiliated her AND her husband and made it quite clear that they do not want to be bothered by them. Now, get this- when this lady asks her husband to get something done, he (in a very innocent tone) suggests if he can ask the neighbors for help (if the situation is such). Immediately, her reaction is disgust at him and she goes off on a tirade on him- how he has no self respect, etc. etc. And he sits back and watches her with a smirk. I have lived in close quarters with these people and have watched this game play out SEVERAL times, regularly. He enjoys himself when she gets angry at him. He almost sets traps for her to express her disgust at him. She is oblivious and walks right into it, but as a third person- I could see it. He was doing it on purpose. His innocent tone was completely artificial and fake- you could HEAR the glee in his voice. By the way, #3 was also done by this guy.
This guy also did the following: Constantly asked his wife whether she had a poop or a pee everytime she went to the bathroom. She never answered, just made a horrified and disgusted face and changed the topic. But it was enough for him. Also, he once asked his daughter to clean his fingers after putting them in his mouth (I was friends with her, so she told me. She also made a face and left and apparently he smiled the whole time)
I once saw a movie where a man spits in a bowl and asks his girlfriend to drink it, in order to humiliate her. Apparently this is common trope of abuse. But the theme is humiliation by making you go through their own disgusting acts
I think they get some sick sexual gratification when women are disgusted by them. For the life of me I cannot understand why such men do not feel shame in the normal way. I would be thoroughly embarrassed if someone (even the closest person to me) caught me picking my nose or something lol. Any insights on such psychology?
Anyway, if you feel disgusted, please run. It is reason enough by itself, but could be a symptom of something far more dangerous. In the initial stages of a relationship, they might start off with small acts to test your tolerance. Later, it will escalate to these bigger violations. (They ARE violations of your dignity).
TLDR- If you feel any ick or disgust at a man's actions AND words- please run.
I used to work with a man who would verbally harass any woman who went to the bathroom: “Did you sh*t? I bet you took a disgusting smelly sh*t”
The type of workplace had no H.R. or recourse for women to complain. Being disgusted only got him the reaction he wanted. The only thing that worked was transferring the shame to him “We get it Kevin, you have a sh*t fetish —save it for your prostitutes.”
I once messaged with a vet/surgeon, he would, without asking me first, send me photos of cut open animals which were very graphic, immediately after I blocked and deleted him. But I think he actually got off on sending me those photos...
I’ve seen this before a few times in person and a lot online. What is the psychology? I’m seriously interested. How do we turn it back on them and neutralize the satisfaction, get rid of that awful shitty smirk, and get them, I don’t know, pissed off right back? (I can be petty like that and I own it.) Mostly I get the only way to make it stop is to leave! This is so gross and abusive.
I would add, any behaviour that makes you go "ugh."
When I was 17 (a couple months before discovering FDS) I went on a "date" with a 28 year old man 🤢(I know, I know😭) and it was immediately obvious he wanted to hook up. I was a pick me back then but I can't believe I allowed him to pick me up at a random location, he gave me such disgusting vibes because he would leer at me with his yellow teeth and lick his lips and smirk at me act like the textbook definition of a creep. His car wouldn't start several times so he parked near a local park and told me to give him oral or he wouldn't take me home, I was way too scared to do anything else and my parents had already phoned the police before I got home.
All of this. And if you ever tell him he’s childish and disgusting, he’ll get mad at you, say you have no sense of humor and call you stuck up. You’re a rigid bitch, but his behavior is acceptable, right????
Lauren Boebert met her husband when she was a teen and he flashed her at a bowling alley. Now they are married, she has a political career and he does stuff like have DV incidents, drunk drive, and generally engage in abusive and humiliating behavior.
This is an old post, sorry, but men who find their own flatulence entertaining are a huge turn-off.
Also men who go #2 with the bathroom door open. Doesn't matter if I'm asleep. Shut the door.
I dated a guy once who, during a dinner date, whipped out his phone and showed me a video from a subreddit that was just videos of people dying in weird ways. Not okay.
Men who use weird sexual slang during or after sex when they know it grosses you out. "Cummies" for example.