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I was inspired to write this after eatpraychill's post about how women want a husband, not a son.
Both my younger sisters are getting married this year.
One of the weddings is this weekend. I was telling someone at work about it and he was like, are you going to catch the bouquet? I was like heeelllll no!!! I will let that bouquet hit and fall off of me before I catch it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Marriage for the modern, middle class woman is a lose lose. We pay half the bills AND we're still expected to maintain a household, look after the children, etc. I love my brother in laws, but my sisters have to work twice as hard as their men to maintain a comfortable home life and bring in half the money. I maintain my own comfortable household and pay 100% of the bills, and I'm really not comfortable having someone else around who pays half but doesn't pull his weight. If he was able to pay for 100% of the household then I'd be happy to maintain 100% of the household chores, but that isn't a reality for the middle class anymore.
In the last few days leading up to this wedding, I've been having visions of myself as an older woman. She lives in a cute little loft in the woods with her dog. I feel a strange sense of peace when I see this for myself. In the past I've felt terrified of being alone as an older person (I'm 35 now), but I'm more comfortable with the idea more now than I've ever been.
I want to get married but honestly the porn-sick men scare me. It's like they're everywhere and I'm scared I won't recognize one until it's too late. And if you don't do all these disgusting and degrading things for them, they use that as an excuse to cheat. Like straight up I just want a family with a husband I can naturally be intimate with and know I can depend on him to protect me. Sometimes that feels like a pipe dream lol especially since a lot of guys in my area aren't even that attractive
Married stepmothers are the least happy cohort of all women, followed by married mothers. I will never reside with a man again. Too much downside risk of unhappiness and drama.
Marriage with an LVM is lose/lose. There are so few HVM that it's better to be alone than in a shitty marriage.
This is the sentiment that runs through my head when I wonder why I haven’t gotten married yet. I’ve seen all the women in my life work twice as hard as their spouse, often without much acknowledgement. I just need to wrap my head around the possibility that I may never find my forever person.
I don’t want a son either. Like their fathers there is a chance that they make your life miserable too. As for marriage unless it’s a man I cant live without, meets all my standards, a true gem among the trash, He’s so good that I have to pinch myself occasionally to see if I’m not dreaming then I want nothing to do with men. Most of them are absolute garbage. Men always claim they have a lot to offer and when I ask them what they got the first thing they say is Love.
Men don’t love you, they love what they can get from you. They love how you enrich their lives. They would drop you for another women and when their new fling treats them with the same regard then they will moan and cry that good women don’t exist.
Men don’t come back because they realise what they have lost, or that you’re the only one for them. They just realised they tried replace the wrong woman.
Been married twice, both NVM/LVM (I’m in my late 30’s now), never ever EVER again. I’d rather poke my eyes out with a hot needle. I’d set that bouquet on fire.
Unless you really realllllly found a HVM, who takes care of everything, I don’t see a point in getting married. The average man has nothing to offer.
As I approach my 30s, I'm basically setting myself up for one of two eventualities: Homemaking + kids with an HVM (and create a "break glass in case of emergency" plan while I'm single and in my right mind, because dudes love to flip the script after they get comfortable) or homemaking on my own in early retirement on a hobby farm and providing support to my family. I'd be lying if I claimed to not have a preference, but I know I will genuinely be okay and comfortable with either.
I’m getting divorced for the second time and am thrilled to be by myself again. Pay 100% of bills, do 100% of work, make 100% of the decisions about my life. I will NEVER build a man again or take care of a man and his life again.
Your last paragraph reminds me of cottagecore, which was started by lesbians. It's no wonder that many straight women are picking up the fantasy but mostly the ones who are interested in their witch bloodline or who are interested in their "crone years". Tradwives get mistaken for cottagecore but they're just appropriating it
I’m afraid I’ll be 70, with aging pains, and looking after my 90-something parents. Is it awful of me to hope they will die before they run out of money and while I can still enjoy life on my own?