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Hey girls! I've been following FDS for a while now and am usually pretty rigid in my boundaries and am able to cut off men pretty easily when they are not in alignment to what I am looking for. However, I usually try to respectfully tell men that I am not interested in them before blocking and deleting, rather than not giving them any explanation to the consequent ghosting.
My concern is, I have anxiety about potentially running into someone I blocked and deleted without explanation. For example, my friend and I went to a bar last week and ended up meeting a couple of other guys there. I foolishly gave one of them my number because we agreed to maybe meet up (the four of us) again at the same bar. Now the guy (who I am not interested in dating) keeps asking to take me out and I want to simply block and delete, but I'm concerned about running into him if I go to that bar again. I don't want to be confronted in person and I don't want to feel anxiety about going anywhere he might be. I also don't want to stop doing things or going places I enjoy because I'm afraid to see someone I know. I'm wondering if anyone has tips for conquering this fear? I try to always go out with a girl friend for safety, but sometimes that is not an option either.
"Block and delete" is obviously not a solution with people who you will most certainly run into and you are gonna have to talk to. If these factors are at play, you have to take into account safety, and other matters. If I were you I would just say "thank you, I'm not interested" and would stop responding or block him. So if you run into him he can't start an argument about being ghosted or whatever and you can more easily avoid him in person.
With a shrug: “guess it was block o’clock”
The only example I can think of from my life where I didn’t think it was a good idea was when a guy went so incredibly apeshit on me by text that I didn’t dare block him because I sensed a threat might be coming and wanted to be able to report it, as well as have some sort of warning.
Well you can just not reply, say you are involved with someone else, or just block him. If he is really such a confrontational person, he may confront you anyway.
Have you actually told him you're not interested? If he's not respecting your no, that's more than enough reason to block.
In your situation, you should say something, but keep it short. Say, "I gave you my number because I thought the 4 of us were going to hang out as a group. I am not interested in hanging out one on one. Good day."
I always tell a guy that I'm not interested in a kind way. For this guy, I'd say something like, "It was nice to meet you, but after further reflection, I don't think we'd be compatible. Thanks for the invitation, and good luck." Then I'd block and delete. I know the guidance is to always just block and delete with no warning, but I don't do that. I end things in a polite way, first. The reason men ghost without a word is so they can come back in the future. If you don't end things, they'll think you're being like men are--possibly just ghosting as intermittent reinforcement. Men don't ever bother me after I give them the polite rejection.
I deleted my earlier comment. It was helpful in my area, when someone suggested it, but may not be contextually helpful to your specific situation.;
And yes, there are some downsides, but they are not so rare, either, only as it pertains to what Lundy Bancroft said on the part I about men, a good majority and their tendency to be abusive and feel entitled to punish women.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx9A9jvMm187aRwhnojUi1w
There are no downsides to block and delete.
The comments here are giving examples of people :::not ghosting::: which is entirely separate from “block and delete.” Block and delete is a healthy, self-loving practice to do, always.
I think block and delete can also be tricky when dealing with slightly crazy exes. If they become unhinged and decide to target you, you won’t have any idea that they’re coming for you.
I have an ex boyfriend from years ago, who is a total narcissist, and at the end, he seemed really off of his rocker, trying to get into my social media account with fake friend requests and other weird shit. For a few years. I decided not to block him on my phone or email because I wanted to know if there was a possibility that he might show up at my front door.