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I know however it will be so useless if I do, poked full of holes and "what about" isms and "not all men".
Maybe the fog has simply been lifted for me personally but reddit seems like such a sesspool of hate for women on all sides of gender.
We are all aware this man is never going to marry this OP. It seems like her intuition is also telling her the same thing, like she sees the point and then misses it entirely. Sigh.
I didn't screenshot all the comments but it's probably not suprising that the majority of them are terrifying advice. 😳
Do you all comment on these or do you save your emotional labor for yourself?
Why can’t these men find women who don’t want marriage? Instead they waste marriage minded women’s time. I hate men like that.
On this week's episode of "my feelings aren't valid because the man I love has different opinions so instead of finding someone whose opinions follow mine, I try to change my internal thoughts and core values by trying to find some kind of logical and rational reasoning from the internet which doesn't exist"
Why can women not own their feelings? It's important to me BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME. why do they need objective reasons and validations to stand up for themselves? If she's giving her body to create a child for them, she has to right to demand commitment and security from him. He wanted till it was too late and sprung it on her.
This is embarrassing.
If he thinks you're good enough to procreate with—but not marry—RUN. It's the principle.
He should WANT to marry you before knocking you up. WTF is this shit??
It's times like this that I wish people, especially scrotes, could crack open a few history books and read about why certain minority groups-such as the gay community, and interracial couples, etc-fought so hard for marriage equality and rights across the board. What's the big deal? It's just a ring and a piece of paper. It means nothing.
But to those groups, it meant fighting tooth and nail for it. Because within a marriage, there are legal protections set in place that are not available for unwedded couples and families. It meant being able to purchase a home together without active discrimination and rejection. It meant being able to legally adopt, being able to be there at the hospital when the woman gives birth, or make decisions concerning the child's health and education. It meant tax benefits, sure, but also the right to even be able to visit their partner's grave when they tragically pass away or are murdered from a hate crime. It meant being able to have access to money to keep going if anything happens to the partner, and not be barred by that person's family who hates you for who you are or what you look like.
Marriage protects you. It's not for everyone, certainly, but it carries so much weight in the legal world. Just like I would never work for a company without proper documentation and contracts in place to protect me, I would never have children with a man just like that without that silly ring and paper.
Guarantee you she gives the baby her last name, and moves out on her own, sets visitation in place that favors her work and schedule, scrote will lose it. He wants a forever girlfriend and complete legal freedom. Never mind that parenthood is lifelong, that entire child's life. He got what he wanted: he baby-trapped her into a permanent tie to him and now wants to weasel out of all responsibility to his new family. I would not be surprised if he was a deadbeat if/when they broke up.
After the podcast about why the mods quit Reddit, I logged out and have not been back. I absolutely save my energy, sanity, and emotional labor. Mind you, my Reddit was carefully curated: earth pics, animal pics, AITA and Pokémon GO, plus some smaller subs like beer money. I personally saw no porn or other trash idiocy. Thank goodness for my niece who warned me and to FDS.
Omg he’s trying to scam her. He did a 360 once she got pregnant. Why the hell would she agree to try for a baby until the marriage is done. I don’t get it. As Women, we give too much before we even receive. What the hell?
At this point, I’m all for #yeahbasicallyallmen
What stands out to me: he tells her the joys and benefits (of having a child) are greater than the risks, and she just goes with that.
Are you kidding me? The risks are definitely greater than the "joys and benefits"... for the woman.
He's only thinking about how low-risk it is... for him.
That alone already makes it clear he doesn't have her back.
(Also see: he says he already has everything a marriage could give him. No shit. Always thinking about himself, no consideration for her.)
Don't waste your precious soul energy on pedoReddit.
Note to my future self: no pregnancy before marriage has been completed. No exceptions.
I want marriage, or else if I have a baby daddy, he may as well be a random guy from the street. Preferably a hot one.
nope nope nope. The second a man has had me questioning the relationship or was making me feel like I’m the one in the wrong for my feelings, it was already over.
he should be scared to lose her! not scared to keep her around.
i don’t think saying anything helps for most of the types asking on Reddit but it couldn’t hurt to say something, it is hard to not want to but I think it’s really hard to talk to a woman who is brainwashed by a man out of his spell. Sadly she probably will learn on her own the hard way. Hopefully soon before he wastes her whole life.
“Technically engaged” 😫 Can you imagine introducing your man to people, “Hello, this is Joe, he’s technically my fiancé”? So humiliating 😤🪦
It is posts like this which make me wonder if LVM love baby-trapping a women when she has a strong stance on marriage and or children. I mean, even if he does marry her afterwards, he 'wins' the power play as he got her to cross a huge boundary for him.
Unless you're living separately forever - my great grandma did this after she divorced and it worked for her wonderfully - you should never cohabitate, share finances, or have children with a man who doesn't want to marry you. Full stop.
You will never convince men like this to suddenly decide to marry you. You either accept their shitty terms or dump them and find someone who is actually enthusiastic about marrying you. And even if you somehow manage to nag them into it, do you really want to be with someone who dragged their feet about it??? Hell no
As an aside, I didn't think my brother could get any more scrote-y than he already is, but then I learned he told my parents he "wanted kids but not marriage". Luckily he's perpetually single, but I feel sorry for whoever his future forever gf is...
No marriage license? No womb. You have to be out of your mind to have a baby for a man like this who's literally trying to make you a single mother. Come on, now. Why fall for the Okey doke? He's gonna knock her up, and leave her. Then he'll pay as little child support as he can get away with whilst screwing a new, younger woman who doesn't have kids. Wow. Unless you're a. very rich woman who can afford to pay for a child all by herself with no help, why would you entertain this scenario? And if I were that rich woman, I'd have a sperm donor so I wouldn't be paying a male child support.
I saw this post today and I thought about FDS immediately!!!
The first comment is saying there are benefits to marriage. Were people at least validating her desires?