Do you think vetting is enough to avoid this situation?

Never give up your house (and if you must due to rent, buy a house with that scrote where you're on the deed and/or sign a contract stating that he's the one leaving if you break up/divorce), absolutely keep your finances seperate, only putting money aside on a joint account for rent/groceries/the kids. Never stop working fulltime, and SAVE SAVE SAVE. Kids can survive daycare, but they'll be traumatised for life if dad beats mom but she can't leave.

Yes!!! Even when you get married, you can't actually combine your life with a man's. The only way to avoid getting burned is having your own EVERYTHING. Keep it secret from him, too. Don't tell him how much money you have saved or which assets you have accrued. Have a sneaky side hustle if you can. Hell, even keep your friends and family separate from him. Don't let him talk to the women in your life. A lot of men will try to create a rift there.

But I mean outside of apps, outside of Reddit, and OFF the internet.

These are flashes that come across their face when they've hurt somebody, lied to them, confused them, etc.

They physically like seeing people hurt whether emotionally or physically.... and bonus points if it was him/her that caused it. They are addicted to abusing, so seeing things like this actually give an innate reaction like a heroine addict getting a fix. It makes them elated to see others hurt.

Narcs and abusers in general make us addicted to their abuse as well. So the longer we go through their abusive cycles over and over, the more addicted we become to them hurting us. Like a heroin addict as well, but our vice is getting abused.

Eventually it becomes the perfect dance. They are addicted to abusing us and we are addicted to being abused. That's why it is hard as hell to leave these relationships. Abused women are addicts for abuse, which is created by the brainwashing and cycles of abuse from their Narc/abuser.

Even dogs do not leave an open cage once they have been shocked and abused enough.

It's all about eroding our gut instincts and spinning us through those cycles till we are addicted and become the perfect malleable puppet for being abused.

sounds more like masochism hahaha

Yup, it's all interlaced in Dark Tetrad and Cluster B personalities.

As in: don't just look for red flags and information about Narcs as they always overlap and interlace with the other Cluster B personalities. They will also always have sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies as well, so only knowing about Narcs won't be enough to keep you safe from these types.

Same with the dark tetrad, it all (Narcissism is a part of it) overlaps with sadistic tendencies and Machiavelinism, etc. Its very rare or maybe fully impossible that there is no overlap between Narcissism and other things.

Knowing the red flags of alllllll of it is crucial to avoid others in the future.

I didn't date for like 3 years until I learned all of this stuff. I mean really learned it. That's how badly a Narc burned my ass... thriving now, but Jesus they do a number on you and I never want to go through it again, and I won't, but I really needed a lot of time to learn about these types, how I was duped, get my boundaries strong, get my knowledge of red flags on point, etc etc. All of those things, I mean TRUE healing takes time.

Wait this post is from a Man???? Men genuinely can’t leave us alone, even in our own spaces for fucks sake

I think so. Or it's some kind of bot. But who would create a bot to spam FDS except a loser male?

Bagless do you have evidence for that? Or are you making this up?

And how do you fix being dumb? By learning and applying knowledge. What you are describing is living unconsciously, on auto pilot, allowing disrespect you just so they can "love" you, which news flash, is never love.

If you don't consciously love yourself above all men and especially one you didn't birth, then you will choose to betray yourself when they are abusive instead of choosing to honor and respect yourself. Theres a million excuses for why people fuck up but the truth is when you know better, you can do better. Yeah it may hurt but life goes on & it hurts way more to be abused especially knowing you betrayed yourself by allowing it.

Whats with all the defeatism on this forum lately? Like are you really on a dating strategy website just to hate on & fear men? Might feel cathartic at first but theres literally no way hate/fear and happiness can coexist so what do you want for yourself? The chances of you finding genuine "love" from a man while harboring these feelings is about as

productive as driving with the parking brake on.

>Like are you really on a dating strategy website just to hate on & fear men?

the fact that i don't trust men enough to date them isn't hateful. the 'defeatism' is a result of trauma caused by them.

i'm not here for the dating strategy, i'm here to learn about leveling up, to be part of an exclusively female community online and to share. and to warn women about the dangers of dating - because dating is dangerous for us, unfortunately.

it's ok if you don't agree with me, though.

Oh I don't mean we don't talk about it sooner. But only after that time will I trust a scrote enough to consider it.

I agree. Scrotes will show their scrote colors much earlier than 1.5 years in.

I would argue that a woman who realizes a man is a scrote after 1.5-2 years was ignoring/denying the red flags from day one. Sometimes literally day one.

I did when I was unaware of covert narcissism.