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I am having a tough time. My previous "relationship" ended badly when I discovered my ex was dating another woman. I was already having a hard time and this made it much worst.
It took me a few months to get back to myself and I don't think about anymore ( unless I'm reminded) but it cost me greatly financially and educationally.
In hindsight I overlooked a couple of red flags that would have been obvious if Ii had faithfully consulted the handbook.
Anyway, I forgived myself and I promised to look after myself better ( the handbook is safely downloaded in my kindle now)
I have decided to change and move to a new bigger city where I can reinvent myself, start fresh, focus on leveling up and when I'm ready, start to date for practise. Following the handbook.
However I'm going home for the holidays and I have a mother obsessed with relationships and marriage and grandchildren. Nothing I do would ever be as good to her as if I get pregnant.
I hate that I will feel the pressure ( and I got a plan b if I don't find a suitable man and I want kids) but still... how do I deal with this? Anybody going through the same?
I can't help but feel that a woman's time is never her own it belongs to men and children that don't even exist.
She wants you to have a kid because it will give her something to post about on Facebook and she would probably love having total control over a small human again. Follow grey rock method if she doesn't stop after telling her "can we talk about something else I'm not up to sharing all that right now"
I’ve been there with my mother-in-law pressuring me about all aspects of my life. She wanted a mini version of her to control because she was very unhappy with her life. Your mom might be the same, crab mentality.
Avoid the topic of relationships as best you can. If it comes up, grey-rock to oblivion (completely detach yourself from the situation) and put it back on her. “Gee Mom, it’s a shame you feel that way, I hope you can find happiness with what you have now”. Or just every time she vents just be like “oh no! that sucks. anyway…” and change subject. And don’t be afraid to leave when the topic comes up and she gets pushy, leave the entire event even. It will communicate to them that they’ve crossed a boundary.
You need to stand up for yourself. Put your foot down and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that you're not seeing anybody and this topic is not up for discussion right now.
I respect you for taking the time you need to rebuild. That's something to be proud of. Focus on your well-being. You have plenty to look forward to. Let your mom know that, too. Tell her about your plans to move and your plans for her career - if she's a good mom, she will be happy you're making some positive changes, and it will be something she can brag about to her friends even if it's not a baby. ;)